Every Teenage Pregnancy Occurs For A Different Reason. (Teenage Pregnancy)

Member Name: Machair1

Product:	Teenage Pregnancy
Date:	27/02/09 (215 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Small age gap between mum and baby

Disadvantages: Loss of independence for mum

Teenagers who become pregnant need our help not our criticism. I firmly believe this but you have to look at it from all sides which is what I will try to do in this article, but make no mistake these young people have taken on the responsibility which overwhelms many of us in our thirties, and many do so with my utmost admiration and respect.

There is no doubt that some set out deliberately to become pregnant. This is not always what it seems. Young teenagers are at the mercy of their hormones, and many of them mistakenly believe that becoming pregnant will be a bed of roses, the partner will stand by them, they will be blissfully happy, and most important of all they will have a new little life to cherish. Most do not just behave irresponsibly, they actually believe that if a pregnancy happens they will create a person who will be theirs and theirs alone to care for, and it is so tempting. There are others however who are so deeply in love and they have genuine accidents, it can happen to anyone at any age, but maybe more so in very young people through inexperience, and certainly in some cases lack of knowledge, and sad to say alcohol can play a part. It is not however in my opinion the intention of the vast majority to deliberately set out to sponge off society and to become kept citizens; I really don't think they think that far ahead at all beyond the moment, or indeed the further implications at all. There are some however and I have to confess to being one of them, who yearn for a family. Being an only child and falling madly in love at 18 I wanted it more than anything, but being level headed I fought the urge to make sure I had a career first, but only just, and I succumbed at 22 with no regrets at all in the knowledge I had managed to wait, but it wasn't easy at all, so I can really understand what motivates some to take this decision.
There are some however- yes who know exactly what they are doing, set out to do it time and time again, but they are the minority.

Having seen so many girls in this situation when I was nursing I really believe there is only one thing to do for them, and that is to treat them with love, respect, and to support them on what is often a very difficult journey. Many seek pregnancy as a desire to create a form of independence, but the reverse happens as they are trapped in a cycle of frustration and despair. Education becomes very difficult and unless you can have access to child care and family support it is often very difficult, and yet many of these young girls have so much to give to society. The other aspect is that many of them don't want to seek child care, because they adore their new babies and they actually want nothing more than to care for them and to make up for what they have done. They face the challenges many of us face later on, but as they have no careers to fall back on it is so much more difficult. Many see their peers going to university, going out and having fun, and they look on through rain drops on shuttered windows at a world outside many of them feel is passing them by.

They need love and help to find the middle way between being a mum and not losing who they are, and they need respect for taking on a very difficult task with a mountain of society's preconceived ideas that they are spongers and takers aimed against them.

On the positive side many are blessed with someone who becomes their best friend and with the small age gap they are often someone who can really be a soul mate for their offspring. In terms of what they lose from a carefree youth and so much daily responsibilities I feel they pay for their mistake, if that is what it was, many times over with loss of freedom, independence, and what seemed like the open road now becomes a dead end with very few avenues open to them.

I think they are seen on mass like so many issues as lumped together into one category- whereas there are actually a million different reasons why teenagers become pregnant. We must help them because the child needs to be loved in all of this, and the mother needs help to develop into who she would have been if she hadn't lost some of her youth to responsibility.

We shouldn't underestimate the love between mum and baby whatever the age, I for one would rather have been a teenage mum than to never have experienced the joy of holding my babies in my arms and seeing them grow into adults. It is too early for them in terms of making a life for themselves yes, and often it leads to a great deal of support needed to help them, but teenage mums are human beings and were I feel mostly motivated by a genuine desire to give love in the first place. Most of them anyway.

Yes educating teenagers about not becoming pregnant and about waiting is paramount, but if it fails we must be there to support them.

Summary: Let's not continue to treat all people in the same boat with the same scepticism.