Newest Review: ... they're not even old enough to get a proper job? I think if you're old enough and responsible enough to have sex, then you should be res... more
Teenage Parents: My View
Author Name: daisylee3
Date: 25/06/11, updated on 26/06/11 (72 review reads)
I'm not a teenage parent myself, however my partner is. He's 18 and has a 3 year old son (nearly 4) to an ex girlfriend. My boyfriend has always stood by the mother of his child (who's 21) financially and is always there to take Taylor to any appointments if need be. Although Taylor, his son, lives with his mum, my boyfriend Jack is always having him over at his house for the weekend or whenever he has a few days off work. Taylor has his own bedroom in my boyfriends house with his own little bed and wardrobe etc and it's beautifully decorated to cator for a 3 year old's fashion sense; mickey mouse wallpaper. He also has a hamster, fish and rabbit at my boyfriends house which my boyfriend is responsible for, and only bought them for Taylor.
People have the idea that teenage fathers simply sling it about and if a girl happens to fall pregnant, then the father will want nothing to do with the child. In some cases this is true. I myself fell pregnant very young (13 and a half) to the type that couldn't care less. No, i wasn't sleeping around. Yes, we used a condom. It split. I lost the baby early in into the pregnancy, and if i'm honest in a way i'm glad, as at the time i was a total mess. Don't get me wrong though, i'm forever thinking "what if my baby had been born? what would he/she of looked like?" etc. The baby would of been nearly 6 by now.
My boyfriend though is hugely supportive of both Taylor and his mum. He pays £50 a week child maintenence which is all through his own choice, there are no third parties involved. Obviously if Taylor's mum needs a bit more then he will give her it. He's got a full time job at a refinery and earns good money, so he's lucky in the sense that he can provide for his son as some dad's can't and get bad reputations even though they try there best to provide. Some dads on the other hand decide to piss the money up the wall rather than spend it on there kid(s). My dad's one of those people, so i have lots of views on that subject matter!
Overall my boyfriend is a teenage father but loves his son and so do i. We are both mature and look after him to the best of our abilities and his mum is amazing and is mature enough to let her son go on days out with us etc. I'm actually really good friends with her and she doesn't mind that Taylor calls me 'daddy's mummy.'
Ofcourse some teenage parents aren't as mature or lucky enough to earn money to support there offspring. I went to school with a girl, let's call her Sophie* who fell pregnant at 12. She had a the baby, a little boy, and by 14 had another little boy. By 17 she had yet another little boy, and now at 19 she's 8 months pregnant. All of the babies are to different fathers and she's admitted to me that her third's father is unknown, as he was concieved on a holiday full of random blokes and drink. Her mum has 7 kids, so i can't help think that it's just a way of life.
Sophie* is a nice girl to be fair, but her immature attitude and lack of basic parenting skills makes her seem like a worse parent than she is. Although the kids are always happy, i often find myself asking her several times if they've been changed, fed, etc and her oldest is often complaining that he's hungry. She has her own house now (council) and it's a total mess, and if i'm honest i've given up attempting to help her as she's got a new boyfriend who's the type that thinks 'we know best so get lost.' Neither of them work, or attempt to find jobs, and she openly posts pictures of herself smoking and posing with pictures of cannabis which presumably is bought out of her dole money.
She also has pictures of her eldest son (6 years old) posing in gang-like poses, as well as 'the middle finger' and often posts status' that are verbally abusive towards her kids. On one occasion ("Leon has just spilled coke down his new top, going to f*cking kill the little c-*-n-t"), i found myself rushing round there to see if she and the kids were okay.
It does upset me in a number of ways, the fact that she herself needs help and the fact that the kids are obviously not cared for properly. I know she tries her best but it's not good enough. Social services in my opinion don't seem to be aware of the full situtation and are 'happy with her progress' as a young parent.
On the other hand, i know a few other girls who fell pregnant quite young, and alot of my friends are pregnant (most are 17/18). Most of these girls are really mature, most with the babys father and most are working. One of my friends (17) even sold her TV in order to have money for her little girls christmas presents. She has also been with her little girls father since the age of 13.
Every teenage parent varies, you can't judge someone by age. I know parents who are 50 odd and are more immature than 18 year old parents.
Overall my opinion is this:
Any parent who provides for there child (or tries there best to), loves there child and looks after the child is a good parent.
Any parent who neglects there child and doesn't provide basic care is a bad parent, whether they work or not, and age does not even come into it.
Any parent who relys on benefits and expects us to pay for them and have no intention of working are wrong.
The £500 teenage parent grant really pisses me off because it feels almost they're getting a reward for getting pregnant! I know it's not, but it still annoys me, mostly because i know a few girls who spent there cheques on new phones and clothes rather than nappies and baby clothes.
Some may disagree, but this is just my overall experience and opinions of teenage parents.