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My 1000th Review! But is dooyoo now the new Ciao?
The dooyoo Redesign
Member Name: thedevilinme
The dooyoo Redesign
Date: 07/09/10, updated on 07/09/10 (105 review reads)
Advantages: The site is running smooth!!!!!!!
Disadvantages: Where's my dooyoo lounge crowns!!
173 crowns (1 in 6)
1,345,621 dooyoo miles
49,345 Reviews rated
49,764 Rates received
48,750 Very Useful
116 Somewhat Useful
49 Not Useful
The other day I read that Katie Price was atop the revered 'Times Booker List', the bimbo called Jordan now the most successful female author in the U.K (ghost written, presumably by The Stig!), according to our poshest broadsheet, an alarming number of intelligent women buying her trashy 'chick lit' in search of cheap thrills and celebrity along with their intelligent tomes. Now my point here is that this is exactly why I write in a tabloid style and why I think more of us should, the formality of a technical review often off-putting on dooyoo. The fact she is top suggests consumers don't really want to trawl through a boring product review that reads like the instructions of an Air Fix kit and so I try to make mine eye - catching, and if that riles up the usual suspects then so be it. There are plenty more exciting things to do on the internet than read us lot you know. I write as if everyone who reads my stuff is indeed intelligent and doesn't want to be patronised.
As dooyoo turns into ciao Im going to celebrate with my 1000th review here(even a Pakistani bookie wouldn't have taken those odds of me lasting that long!) I will redesign (that's redesign, not resign Gill!) dooyoo with my signature A-Z!
A - Arcade
How much more fun dooyoo would be if it was more of a virtual arcade where you walk into a shopping centre and visit all the various chain stores and niche outlets. The best red writers with reviews on - say Boots would be in the virtual stores and the external consumers could read up them on the various goods and services. Ok, a 3D software program would be a tad expensive for dooyoo but the internet is going to go 3D one day so why not get in now? I just like the idea of going into a 3D Anne Summer show in my own virtual arcade!
Right that was the dull opening for all those who like dull, practical reviews...
B - Boring Topics
Like many of you I feel guilty if I don't write at least 1000 words. Fair enough, dooyoo want us to write in the level one sections but its so tough guys. They are tedious sections to write (I'm currently explaining microwaves for my next household review) and most members have only one or two new items in those sections in their possession, but what external consumers want to read about and so we have to chase it. But too many good writers are not here anymore because there are no rewards for writing on stuff they enjoy, why they came here in the first place. Now the balance has gone they are gone. I would make sure sections like film and dooyoo lounge were given more rewards and crowns to get you all back again. The film and many other popular sections are at an all-time low for crowns and some of the best film writers have all but given up here. It's not too late to get them back.
C - Comments
I would finally give you the option to DELETE them on dooyoo! We have all logged on after a hard days work or a few pints and regretted having a rant there and then stressed further over any blowback from dooyoo. Some guides and prominent members know some are on tightrope and enjoy writing a taunting comment we can't reply to. I now just report them to save any hassle but a quick deletion for both your and their comments on your work would save a whole lot of hassle and make the site look more respectable to customers, the whole point after all, our spats not their business. Dooyoo would presumably still have a record of the original comment if it abusive so job done!
D - Dooyoo Lounge
I write a lot of dooyoo lounge reviews and ones that used to crown don't anymore, but no real reason given by dooyoo. These crowns cost dooyoo nothing but they just don't want to give them out these days. If I was dooyoo head honcho I would rapidly increase those crowns as a way to keep good writers on site, who may not be crowning elsewhere due to cutbacks. We are looking at three months to get a £50 cheque now for 95% of writers and if we want to discourage people pretending they have ten mobile phones and the amount of make up needed to make Jo Brand look hot to make easy money then this could be the way. Dooyoo would be surprised how many member get satisfaction from crowns. A lot more categories have been dropped into the dooyoo lounge of late and that is also lost revenue from popular categories. In August dooyoo crowned just three reviews in the lounge: Period Pains, Bread Recipes and Home Made Christmas Presents? Maybe I'm too blokey for Dooyoo Lounge anymore but Christmas in mid summer?? I was particularly peeved in the World Cup as I concentrated on loads of good footy reviews chasing crowns because dooyoo told us they would reward footy reviews. There was just one World Cup crown, that going to a guide. I still have the most dooyoo lounge crowns on the last five pages of crowns listed here but only three this year from nearly 100 reviews in that section.
E- Extra prizes and giveaways
Ciao seem to have no problem in running loads of competions. They have a product of the week competition, a monthly one on ciao café (dooyoo lounge), and external links to other competions. It keeps things competitive and writers on their toes ready to show off their talents, and you get great prizes, an Xbox 360 no less for the World Cup competition! Dooyoo, alas, give us 3500 miles for a review that may have taken all day to get right. I am currently the only dooyoo member in the top 25 crowners of all time not to get a crown of the day award. But I'm one of only five to get the review of the month award.
G - Guides
If I was the boss I would get rid of them all and hold elections for new ones .lol. In that way the best ones would be re-elected and it would feel democratic and wonderful and perhaps see some younger new talent get the gig. I doubt if there are many under-30 at the moment with one too many gentleman's penalty spots for comfort. Some of these kids know a dam site more than we do on all manner of things technical and it seems a missed opportunity. At least they would help break up the untouchable gang mentality that sometimes emanates from the guides here.
I - Images
Posting up pics to enhance ciao reviews is the best fun and they even give you ciao points for doing it! It helps to make your more 'subtle' points on reviews and you can be very silly too. Or you can just put up pictures of hot totty to get rates that way. I will wave my dooyoo wand and pictures will be allowed here!!!!!!
J - Justice!
I think we need an appeal panel of our piers so dooyoo and the guides aren't judge and jury. There's a lot of bullying going on right now on ciao and you don't want those guys doing that here. Certain members are all too powerful here and are hard to control sometimes. The worst ones have left but they could return any day. Ok, I couldn't think of a sensible J.
K - King of Dooyoo!
If you top the various crown lists in the various departments you should be more prominent on the site. Hogsflesh should have his own horror corner and Koshka her own travel agent. I know dooyoo had a spell where people who have reached various milestones went on the scrolling front page bit but I think we should be able to exploit our notoriety more so consumers can read more of our specialised reviews. Non guides that are contributing heavily to the site need more status to increase their miles.
L - Leniency
I fully agree with the two week ban for speed rating or copying. The site wouldn't exist if every word of every review was read and we have all nibbled a quote or black of stats or two to help bulk out our work. If we binned everyone for those misdemeanours then would there be anyone left? Dooyoo need the reviews and we need the rates. Admittedly behaving badly has cost me one too many crowns and accounts and you have to bend to get through life sometimes. I personally would deduct miles from members rather then throw them off though because this place is an addiction and that dumping hurts. As long as they produce original work and rate correctly everyone should be happy.
M - Message Board
We need an official dooyoo message board to put our concerns and ideas on and do some general official mixing at the same time, and also somewhere for our compliments and complaints and we need it to be linked on the community page. The private message system has helped to dilute public spats but you still feel you can't comment under reviews without censure. The private chat boards tend to be ego led affairs and often swamped by guides and truculent members who take things far too seriously - and can't wait to correct your spelling mistakes, teaching people like school kids. If it was policed by dooyoo it would be reasonably civil and dooyoo could write there to, communication the name of the game. The current internal system of complaint and abuse tends to favour the guides and those prominent members and if you do complain through the dooyoo abuse link the reply tends to usually make out it's your fault, or they don't reply, the same thing.
N - Nominations!
On ciao the reviews that win the diamonds (our crowns) are generally the ones that garner the most reciprocal 'excellent' and 'very useful' nominations, regardless of the quality or read. The 'big' members rule the roost and that's the way it works. You either go for diamonds or you don't. But on dooyoo the crown awarding has always been a bit of a mystery, regardless of the rules. To make it clearer I would list member's accrued nominations under all reviews to see how popular the review actually is so to help dooyoo with their crowning options. We can make the nominations anonymous so members can't reciprocally rate back. If crown awarding was more transparent under dooyoo rules we would all know who the influential nominators are and how roughly many 'noms' you need to crown, giving everyone a boost as we head into winter.
O - Openness
When I message certain guides or members I often get curt replies. Wouldn't life be fun if we could relax more here and break down the obvious hierarchies someway. Most members create a persona on dooyoo to get rates and some people seem to take that persona rather too seriously. I have learnt that the members who put their photo on their avatar bit are more likely to take offence than those who put playful pictures up, the latter able to distance themselves from any insults or criticism. I'm confused how people can be offended by the slightest little thing when we are often miles away from each other and have never met. One or two guides write on their profiles that they will report the slightest abuse of them, which is somewhat intimidating as what they interpret as abuse maybe simple banter or joshing. That type of attitude builds an atmosphere on site and we lose that grown up ability to interact. We are all intelligent people and should show respect to each other by giving a little like we would in the pub!!
P - Pink!
I know dooyoo wasn't green once (blue, I think) but isn't it time it was pink, reflecting the gender that most use it, be it writers, raters or external readers They say 70% of all purchases are made by women and the other 30% to get women. 70% of the dooyoo categories are guided by women and the girls write 70% of all reviews, the level 1 categories somewhat feminine in their appeal, most dooyoo volume coming from housewives, the retired and the unemployed, a bit like a county cricket crowd! But why kid ourselves it's an equal gender playing field guys! Its time to go pink because the girls are in control! But please, no glitter or Miley Cyrus spanglies!!!!
Q - Queen of dooyoo
Like the Prom Queens in America, every year we need a male and female star of dooyoo. Put your hand down Plip. They would have to have their photo on the front page and wear a crown and swimwear. Put your hand down Plip! I nominate Koshka, if just to see her strangle someone with her sash.lol.
R - Rates
Because dooyoo miles are hard to come by now for most we all have to consider entering dooyoo competitions to find that extra money. Bad idea! I tried my hand at last month's vacuum competition in 'Household', not usually where big boys like me hang out, and got slaughtered. I tried to be creative and funny with my entry to stand out like a soar thumb in a rubber hammer factor but was immediately shredded like an old sock going up the said vacuum, a sucker indeed. Once one member had SU'd me many sheep followed and I was quickly dispatched with vacuum dust in my hair, even getting one 'Not Useful, which I thought was rather outrageous for a competition entry. But, if you can't handle the heat then stay out of the kitchen reviewing...
S - Suggestions
Ciao have quite a rapid suggestion system where you actually create your own new suggestion. Pick a picture to and up it goes as you want it. You can chose to post it up there and than or wait for it to be Ok'd by cioa. If you post up there and then it won't go into the newest review list until ciao ok it and so you dot get many rates. But once you are sent an e-mail with a link it's the same as dooyoo's method. In that case why cant dooyooers have this option? I think it works very well and it still allows for dooyoo to delete the suggestion.
T - Text Formatting.
Many members are 'miffed' why dooyoo's text editor is so basic. We can't highlight text or pronounce its nuance with italics or under-lining. Surely that would help customers to enjoy our reviews more? Come on dooyoo lets make the investment on the server to keep up with ciao.
U - Unification
There are five dooyoo sites around Europe and so why not let our foreign writers who speak those languages post up there to. I understand that's currently banned but writers like Karimkha have made the effort to do battle with her English skills here and so she deserves the luxury of being allowed to write on the Spanish one. I believe on ciao you can cross - post on their European sites if your language skills are good enough.
V - Vengeful rating
I don't really have an issue with revenge rating as it's a payment after all. What I do have a problem is with tactical rating. I have 49 Not Usefuls and most spiteful and unfair I recall. The people who made them would probably agree with that. Until recently I only rated Very Useful and Useful (if it deserved it) and didn't rate churn. Now I rate churn because dooyoo told me to. Ciao have an off-topic abuse/button and that would also help on dooyoo. In fact five 'Not Useful's' given should automatically delete the review. It's all good stuff!
W - We Thank You
I have over 400 of them and I have discovered it's not a bad tally. External reads are clearly very important to dooyoo and so it will be interesting to tally the crowns list with the 'we thank you list'. I would definitely place that list on the community page under the newest crown list. Let's see who the real stars to the actual consumers here on dooyoo!
X - X marks the spot
Here is a fun idea. Once a week you can nominate one of your reviews for double rates by pressing a button when you post it up, and only when you post it up, no option to change your choice. It would be just like playing your Joker on 'It's a Knockout' and you would obviously put extra effort into this review and so chase rates with it. Just a thought!
Y - Young writer awards
I have seen some fabulous reviews from the younger writers here, our Dr Who obsessed girly an example of. How about a competition especially for them as they need the money most for university and future projects. The site is dominated by middle-aged and middle-class parents and many reviews can be samey.
Z - A-Z
Ciao have a miscellaneous section where you can put any other business, the 26 letters of the alphabet and 0-9 allowing flexibility with your anonymous stuff. It helps hoovers up any off-topic stuff in the wrong place and enables you to post up at weekends and bank holidays if you don't want to wait for ciao to add your new suggestions. Searching out general categories here to dump obscure work that you don't feel worthy of its own slot can take ages.
SO there it is and from my suggestions its quite clear Ciao are beating dooyoo right now and dooyoo turning into ciao, which means if the economy gets any worse a merger is on the cards...
Summary: 3000 words for my 1000th review!