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Osama Bin Laden: The Anagrams!
Slain a bad omen
Bold, mean, Asian
O damn! A lesbian
An Islam bad one
Bad as Lenin, Mao.
Mad noble Asian.
An ode: ban Islam
A mad, inane slob
Is lame and a nob
I'm on anal beads
Lob da Man in Sea
It's not the first time the CIA have filled a body bag up with rocks and thrown a man over the side of a boat without trial, but it is the first time they have proudly admitted it. They often behave like the mafia but no one would begrudge the passing of Osama Bin Laden, whether he died on May 1st or some time previous in the last twenty years (unless he is currently being interrogated in some rendition prison oblivious to what has gone on and squawking like a good un!) or not. And if he does blab and turned out not to organize 911 and so the invasion of Afghanistan not needed that would be one huge legal bill for America. The best solution for America and the world was clearly the one that happened on May 1st.
I think he is dead and he was that pathetic old man in the compound we saw in those videos, apparently hiding out in Pakistan in relative luxury pretty much since the start of the Afghan war, not exactly living up to his image of the heroic Al-Queada leader who lives with the people in the mountains, showing humble sacrifice the Muslims love so much. Nope, like the rest of us, he was lost without his satellite TV, Playstation, pizza and toilet flush.
Why the sound wasn't present on those videos is more intriguing, perhaps the Americans worried that the voice pattern could be matched (or not as the case may be) to previous Bin Laden propaganda videos released and so generate yet more conspiracy theories. The only other question mark had to be was he actually the guy that planned 911 or was he America's poster boy for the 'War on Terror', a war America were gagging for once the Cold War ended. You can not understate the importance of war to an empire like America. It is a minimum 10% of their economy, powering the so-called Industrial Military complex that sees ever state of the union awarded lucrative military contracts. It's what sustains them. The irony is that Charlie Sheen has said more anti American statements than Bin laden on tape and TV. I personally don't think he did 911 but wanted the glory and so a problem. I also feel the illegal war in Iraq was just as evil as the September 11 attacks and Bush deserves a similar visit in the night b Seal Team 6.
Some liberals are already moaning at the way OBL was taken down, the Seal Team pretty much whacking him in a sleepy hashish haze by all-accounts. Special Forces usually shoot targets in critical mass areas like the chest with an automatic rifle when they attack enclosed spaces to insure the maximum kill ration so the fact that Bin Laden and his cohorts were mostly head shot kills would suggest they were asleep or out of their heads on pot at the time of the raid, weed a common social narcotic in the Hindu Kush, the head shots clearly taken from very close range. A far more sinister side of the head shot is to make sure the graven image of the martyr is not pleasant and so can't be used as propaganda and further worship, what seems to have happened. I'm sure we will see those photos and videos nearer the US election. It's also the CIA's calling card so you can't actually visually identify the body quickly and have to pick up all the teeth to a dental record check. At least sympathizers can't congregate at his grave now although they are welcome to try.
The idea that the Pakistani intelligent service - the ISI - didn't know Bin laden lived in that house is absurd, of course, which may suggest the American spooks would know too about his location too for quite a while now. For how long we don't know but you can be sure even the local cops would have a good idea he was there as they would be shaking down a house occupants like that ever week for bribes and fines to subsidize their meager income. Bin Laden had all his kids and three wives there for Christ sake!!! His name is probably on the mailbox. The reason why he had no internet connection was because he was using BT Infinity, of course.
From the wondrous wikileaks we have already learnt that the ISI (Pakistan intelligence service) were 'tipping off' Bin Laden's people whenever the Americans got close to capturing him. US troops were even based in this Abottobad place in 2005 to distribute aid during the big earthquake in the country but still the Pakistanis said nothing to America. So the question then is why kill him now? Was it a good time for Osama to be taken down politically for Obama? Did they delay the raid for a couple of days to allow the Royal Wedding not to clash with their particular media hogging world event? My gut instinct is yes on the later, a prolonged post dead Bin Laden news feed what this was really about and only good news for Obama's re-election campaign as he slowly peels back the layers of Bushes failures on the War on Terror and emphasizes his own successes. Let's face it, Kate and Williams's incognito honeymoon (in The Seychelles) is now irrelevant. Killing Bin Laden should be enough for another term for Barak though. Cynicism is encouraged when it comes to politics.
The National Enquirer - "Osama Bin F*****D!"
Newyorker - "Osama 0 - Obama 1"
The Sun - "Bin Bagged"
Apart from getting rid of OBL the real point here was to humiliate the Pakistanis and their uncomfortable tacit alliance with the Taliban, "hiding Bin Laden in plane sight", as one tabloid put it. Clearly Pakistan can't ignore their Afghan border ties and clearly America can't ignore Pakistan, why they give them billions of dollars of aid every year. Pakistan have to keep both parties happy or else. The fact that there are three different Taliban's planting bombs in Pakistan shows how tricky this all is to get right. Although Bin Laden was Arab he was a symbol of Muslim strength, a man who could fight back against America and the west. The Arab uprising in the Middle-East is not so much about wanting democracy but dignity, something the west has systematically stripped from Islam in the last 100 years.
Meanwhile the forgotten wikileaks cables are increasingly unraveling the lie the War on Terror always was, every week fabulous stories coming out but media groups too scared to broadcast them. One such truth reveals that just 12 Guantanamo detainees incriminated 225 of the total inmates there at Camp X-Ray, half of Guantanamo's eventual prison population, rounded up and sent to Cuba on 'information' from just a dozen guys, a culture of telling the interrogators what they wanted to hear to get treats the chosen survival method in the harsh prison. The Americans needed that place to be bursting at the scenes to justify their War on Terror and so this is seemingly how they did it. Over half of the prisoners have now been deemed a low grade threat and only 100 of the guys there were actual terrorist sympathizers, the rest just prisoners of war or confused cab drivers and gourd sellers to make up those numbers.
Another leak has exposed just how keen the UK was to remove Saddam long before the Americans were ready to go in, some 18 months before the invasion of Iraq seeing Blair discussing 'oil security' with his military chiefs in Downing Street, leaks yet again rubbishing the idea this was about democracy for the Iraqi people. I expect similar leaks on Afghanistan soon. The only Muslim emancipation here was for the oil to BP. When you take a dump all you know is the s**t goes down the u-bend and its somebody else's dirty problem. It's the same when you buy a gallon of petrol, not a pleasant history on how it came to be in a garage in your hometown. When people moan when fuel prices are high because it inconveniences them they forget who is at the other end of that oil pipeline and the terrible things happening to them. While we are killing Al-Queada in Pakistan we are arming them in Libya to beat Gadaffi, yet ignoring the people of Syria who are under Islamic extremist machine gunfire, a far worse battle for democracy going on there, our inaction purely because Libya has our oil and Syria doesn't. The hypocrisy is enormous when it comes to oil. Someone like Bin laden has to exist so we have the excuse to do what we do to get the oil, why we create these evil dictators in the first place, and seven current Middle-East leaders educated at Oxbridge. We all need to hang our heads on this one.