The ramblings of a truly awful dooyooer (Writing a Good dooyoo Review)

Member Name: snootybutnice

Product:	Writing a Good dooyoo Review
Date:	06/05/09 (529 review reads)
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OK...packet of crisps in front of me...lets write about this. 50p here I come!

Damn need to pad it out to make 150 words. OK firstly where did I buy them from...mmm bound to be Asda - I'll stick that in anyway (no-one will know)...price? How the hell do I know? I'll leave that bit out.

Taste...awful...but they were 'best before 2007' but I'd better not put that - I'll just say they tasted OK. OK now I should put something about Asda to make it look good/more thought intensive...oh someone's already done it...nice one! "cut and paste" ...voila!!

Now better finish up ...ah great....150 words exactly - nearly went over. Could get RSI with too many words. No use in going over the top - get paid anyway...

Now then...lets look at that Guides profile - oh that's the 10th time I've seen that...says she doesn't rate anyone who doesn't rate back. "OH...get-a-LIFE". Guess I'd better start rating. I've had 502 ratings so far...oh! I've only rated 17 people back. mmm suppose I could pull that up a bit. OK here goes...god he drones on and on ....yadi yadi yada...OK "very useful" yawn....next..."very useful"...next..."very useful"... Fab 20 ratings in less than 4 minutes - god I'm good.

Oh that's strange...I must have reviewed that before ...who knew?! Lol Better go further down his list and find something else to rate...more time wasted - could have fitted in another 2 ratings...PRAT. Jeez all this guy does is music...boring. OK pick one...any one....Yes..."very useful"...and another "very useful". There you go, you boring man...2 Very Useful's. I better get 2 ratings back from you.

Oh...here's someone else. Rude title...sounds interesting ...oh good they give it 5 stars - oh great title but boring read - no sex or breasts...they tricked me into reading it. ...that'll be a "very useful" then (MUST remember to put sex themes in my titles in future) - oh best write a message to show willing..."brilliant work". I wonder what they were rating. It's no good...curiosity has got the better of me...let's go back and seeee....ah yes chest guards.

God...this computer is so slow...I'll be here all day if I rate everyone who's rated me. Oh bugger it... I'll just put something in my profile to say let me know if I forget you. That's that covered off then!

What?! Someone marked me "not useful"...??? why?... I did my 150 words - took me 10 minutes - ...which is ummm... well 5p a minute at my reckoning. Well...lets just visit them. Oh they've got a "crown" - for a hoover. Nah not interesting at all. Where's the button "not useful". Stick that up your.... Oh ...email ...yippee. What?...she's going to report me for revenge rating. SO SO unfair. Oh bloody hell...better email back - don't want to lose my money. "Sorry hon - hit the wrong button - meant to say very useful". There that should do it. Bitch!!


H0W 70 WR1T3 4 G00D D00Y00 R3V13W (Secret pointers!)
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In my opinion, the key to writing a good review is two-fold.

Firstly, have an eye catching title (to get the punters reading!). It's no good having a great review if the title lets you down and no-one wants to read it - if you're getting a low number of "hits" then change your headline to see if your hit rate improves!!

Secondly, have a viewpoint about a product with perhaps a different or unusual slant. It should be engaging, balanced and ideally take the reader through some key pointers - in an organised way which makes it quick on the eye and easy to digest.

Often it's best to write it, leave it and then come back to it later - far easier to tweak as errors are more likely to glare at you at a later date. A general rule of thumb is if you have to re-read a sentence before it makes sense, then it needs to be re-written.

If you can appeal to the readers emotions then this is also a winner. An element of humour always goes down well as does speaking from the heart when discussing painful/sensitive subject matters. Honesty is always refreshing and loved by all.

The key points to write about obviously depend upon the subject matter involved and will be dictated by your own personal experience. As an example, you could include 2 or more of the following:

- Pre-purchasing experience
- Purchasing experience
- Product description
- Post-purchasing experience
- Retrospective analysis
- Current purchasing advice
- Summation

MORE DETAIL:

**Pre-purchasing experience**
1. Reason for purchase/background to your purchasing decision
2. What made you choose this brand versus other similar items/brands
3. Brief information about the manufacturer or reseller - if appropriate or interesting

**Purchasing experience**
4. Where item was purchased
5. Cost of item
6. If purchased on-line - ease of navigating around the website and placing your order
7. If purchased in store, what was your overall shopping experience with this company
8. Details about the manufacturers warranty - and costs for extending the warranty
9. Information regarding how item was packaged if appropriate (e.g. description if poor packaging caused damage in post, or if product included an extra widget or instruction booklet).
10. How item was shipped/delivered - or how easy it was to collect (e.g. couldn't fit this into my car so had to pay an extra £10.00 for delivery)

**Product Description**
11. Description of the item in terms of material/ingredients/grade used in its manufacture
12. Description of the characteristics of the product i.e. what it can do/its target market/its intended use and whether there are other similar models that a buyer should be aware of (e.g. I bought this because it was the cheapest but if I wanted more memory I would have chosen X which is the next model up)
13. Comparison of the quality of this product versus others in the marketplace
14. Description using all senses i.e. taste/sound/smell/touch/visual (as appropriate!)

**Post-purchasing experience**
15. First impressions (e.g. when you first opened the box)
16. Your intended use for the item - and whether it was made fit for this purpose
17. Second impressions (e.g. describe what happened when you first used the item)
18. Any additional usage notes (e.g. it performed well when I did x and y but failed to do z - however when I added this to it, which doesn't get mentioned in the user handbook, it worked perfectly).
19. Any warnings or advice (e.g. it says suitable for a child of 1+ years but I feel it's too dangerous due to 'xyz' and would be better for a child of 4+ years)
20. Feedback from other people who have used this item, if relevant (e.g. I lent this to my elderly mother but she found it too heavy to hold).
21. Third impressions (e.g. describe your experience with the product over a longer time frame covering reliability, robustness of product etc..)
22. If item required repairing under warranty, description of service provided - and whether warranty is worth purchasing

**Retrospective Analysis**
23. Do you feel, in hindsight, that the product was good value for money
24. If you could turn the clock back, would you still purchase this item

**Current Purchasing Advice**
25. Who is currently selling the item at the best price - and/or where's the best place to buy

**Summation**
26. Overall good points of product
27. Overall bad points of product
28. Your final conclusion

The above list is very basic - there are of course numerous other incidentals that you can also mention e.g:

* Food * - you could include how to store it, whether it freezes well, useful recipes, how to modify it for vegans/vegetarians, list of ingredients for those on a diet or suffering allergies etc...

* Books * - you could indicate the writing style of the author i.e. whether they write in the first person etc... and how this book compares against some of their previous works, whether the plot had an unusual twist or if the storyline was very transparent (don't spoil it for the reader by telling them the whole plot though - leave them wanting more!)

* Films * - you could write about how the film compared with earlier adaptations of the same book/play or who directed the film - how the film was initially reviewed, who acted particularly well, awards won etc (again don't spoil it for the avid film buff - give them just enough information to whet their appetite).

* Holiday locations * - you could write a full review of the accommodation, a little about the owners of the hotel, whether there is a chain of hotels owned by the same group, the cost of the hotel/holiday, how you managed to get better discounts, the plus points and negative points of staying in your accommodation, the entertainment, the food, general housekeeping information, how complaints are dealt with, whether it was good for disabled holidaymakers, any pearls of wisdom and a list of nearby locations/places to see/things to do and their associated costs etc...

As you can see, the list is endless!! Simply remember that everyone reading your review is after YOUR personal insight/experience. If you can make it fun, snappy and interesting then so much the better. Just ensure it includes all the relevant points to enable a buyer to make the right purchasing decision - which is what it's really all about at the end of the day!!

...AND FINALLY - SOME DO'S AND DON'TS!!
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DO write something original - ideally with a new angle
DON'T copy or plagiarise (or if you do this in part, attribute it appropriately)

DO write about something you know and have tried in person
DON'T 'wing' it - if you don't know much about a subject matter then don't waffle around it. Indicate what you DO know and ultimately pass on a small (but valuable) point - rather than a tonne of useless information.

DO write as many reviews in a day as you like - PROVIDED they are top quality reviews and not just 150+ words of drivel
DON'T expect not to get a label of being a "churner" if you do many reviews all day, every day. Some people will go so far as to avoid rating you because of it (they think you're only in it for the money and are probably not providing top quality reviews)

DO ideally leave a little time between posting your last review and your next - as it gives people more time and opportunity to read and rate your work. The more ratings a piece of work, the more money you receive
DON'T rush your reviews - and remember you can always revisit earlier pieces of work to get them more polished and invite members to re-rate.

DO think of a good title - the better titles/headlines get more hits
DON'T underestimate the power of a good headline... it's a newspapers lifeline

DO use good English, grammar, punctuation, spelling etc
DON'T get upset if you get feedback criticising you for the above or if people downgrade their ratings because of your poor grammar/spelling etc... On the bright side you can only get better and you will gradually see this reflected in your ratings. Many people use Microsoft Word and 'spell check' their work first, prior to submitting

DO use sentences and paragraphs or titles and subtitles to make your work easier to read
DON'T lump your opinion into one massive paragraph - no-one will feel like wading through it

DO take direction from a Guide if they tell you your work isn't useful
DON'T take their advice personally - and re-work your review only if you want to - or if you feel they may have a point

DO take the time to review other people's work - especially if they have reviewed yours
DON'T assume that people will continue to review your work when you don't "give back" or never return the favour

DO take the opportunity to network and thank people for particularly nice comments they have made. You can and will make many friends at Dooyoo if you choose to do so
DON'T get sooo caught up with Dooyoo that you take any disagreements about your writing style personally when made - move onwards and upwards and agree to disagree!

DO remember that you can nominate others for crowns
DON'T feel you have to tell them you've nominated them - and only nominate if you feel the work is outstanding in some way i.e. very useful advice, something that made you cry/laugh, something that made you "take a moment" and has changed your life forever - or simply a very well written review.

DO enjoy yourself
DON'T be mean or give 'revenge ratings' out to those who have displeased you in some way

DO understand Dooyoo is a commercial site and needs good reviews covering many different types of products in order to stay ahead of the game and maintain their top rankings
DON'T forget you aide Dooyoo in two ways - by writing top reviews and by weeding out those reviews which are poor in quality (by giving accurate ratings)

DO use Dooyoo yourself and take the opportunity to learn about all sorts of things that will aide you in your every day life
DON'T abandon your husband/wife/children/parents/friends for Dooyoo... (simply make them sit on the chair right next to you and insist they join in ;-) xxx

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