We hold our heads in blushing shame (There ought to be a law about that!)

Member Name: FORCHARITY

Product:	There ought to be a law about that!
Date:	09/09/02 (68 review reads)
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Advantages: For Charity

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Slight category change, we're sure it's almost as good a place to put it!

With hindsight, I can see it all now. Yesterday afternoon I was taking the roof rack off the car and the usual murmur of the chatting neighbours died off a bit while I was outside. As you glanced up you could see heads turning back sharply and hurried pointing at something invisible on a wall nearby. This PC is next to the front window and we'd occasionally look out and see heads turned towards the house, grinning. A couple of days ago, as I was driving into the estate, two men standing on a corner chatting, pointed at me.



At the time, I thought nothing of it as we do stick out a little bit. After all, we're not from these parts, this is the north west and we're both Londoners but it's something you learn to live with and have a joke about.



This is a nice neighbourhood. Quiet, tidy little houses, all with neat front gardens and cars parked on the drives. Hanging baskets abound in pleasant, semi-urban imitation of cottagey kitsch. Everyone puts their bins out on Thursday night and nod in passing. Not a lot happens.



There's gossip surely, as there always is in a community. I'm sure that everyone gets talked about at some stage or another. What you don't expect is to be the major subject of it; the only talking point. We must have been for the last few days and we probably will be for some time to come.



Now, whenever we leave the house, we check for spies and for lace curtains suddenly dropping back. We see if the coast is clear before the dash to the car and we squeal off to the supermarket. Now we're contemplating only going out under cover of darkness. Or with blankets over our heads, like criminals being shielded from the attention of the press. I'm sure that in time we'll learn to live with it and even laugh about it with our neighbours but for the time
being we feel like chastised children, scared to do anything out of place in case we just compound our sins.



What on earth had we done? Well, nothing really. Nothing very untoward. Nothing really that bad. Yesterday evening we went out for a couple of hours, blind to our predicament. When we returned just after midnight, I opened the door, saw a piece of paper on the floor in the porch and picked it up. My partner went in the living room and sat down on the settee while I read the note. I froze. My previously sunny and happy demeanour changed to one of abject horror.



Somebody had obviously been watching us until we left, hurried across and popped the note through the door, in case we came home unexpectedly. I can imagine them now as they drew lots to see who would do the deed. "Go on, you do it." "No, I can't, you're quicker than me - what if someone's home?" Well, someone did and the view of my partner's face as I handed her the note was a sight to behold.



"Here, look at this" I said, the words catching in my throat as I struggled to conceal my embarrassment. OK, embarrassed yes, secretly, rather overjoyed that they realised it was us. I mean, neither of us is in the prime of youth anymore and this was a bit of a backhanded compliment. They're probably only jealous.



This is what we read:



"Are you aware that the whole neighbourhood heard you having sex two nights on the run. DO ENJOY! But please close your windows. Thankyou."



If only they knew where we'd been on our drive out yesterday evening...





This opinion was donated to the FORCHARITY account by The Operator and Shazzy (blush). To read more about this initiative go to the FORCHARITY profile page and all will be explained

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