“ There are those films that you know are supposed to be serious but end up being the best comedy you've seen in years, right? We want to hear about all your favourite films that are so bad they're actually great. „
I almost feel as though this section was made for me as I seem to be quite known for my strange taste in films. I absolutely love b-movie, cult films and just generally obscure films, mostly horror and sci-fi (though usually viewed with humour rather than as serious films). I do love these films and own over half of these on DVD. I had real trouble keeping this to just 10, and I have so many more films that could have been included. So, here we are... in no particular order! 10. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) This is a great film, spoofing b-movies. It has everything: psychopathic tomatoes, singing, superman cameo... its just utterly ridiculous. A government taskforce is sent to investigate the murderous fruit, including somone disguised as black Hitler, a man never without his parachute (initially scared by 'Hitler') and an underwater expert. Definitely a film that everyone should check out once, especially those that love ridiculous films (though I think the title alone gives that away). Favourite part: When the old couple don't care that a tomato ate 'little Timmy'. -Favourite quote: Richardson: "Incredible! Kamikaze tomato!" G-Man: "Tomatoes can't fly!" Richardson: "Yeah? They can't eat people either, but they're doing one heck of an impression!" There have been three sequels, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back and Killer Tomatoes eat France. The last of which I haven't seen and the second of which stars a young George Clooney. 9. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001) Great cult film! IMDb states, "Kung-fu Action/ Comedy/ Horror/ Musical about the second coming. Basically, its about a mordern day Jesus (who has some awesome kung-fu skills to boot) and he's on a mission to stop vampires for killing lesbians for their skin with help from Mexican wrestler El Santo). And on top of this we have some singing thrown in. Favourite moment: The cameo from god. Ooh or the fighting scene with various organs. Or the crazy man in the bush. Or when Jesus meets the atheists (also the stage for a joke on how many atheists you can fit into a jeep). Favourite quote: "We're running low on skin. I suggest we harvest another lesbian." 8. Snakes on a Train (2006) This film was produced by Asylum, so instantly you know its going to be bad. Through the whole film I was utterly bored... until the last 30 minutes. I don't want to spoil it but it really is just awesome, and worth it for those 30 minutes of hilarity. A woman has a zombie curse placed on her that causes snakes to live inside her, she is on her way to L.A. to be cured. Favourite moment: the train munching and the part that followed. 7. Sherlock Holmes (Asylum) (2010) Another film from Asylum, this time taking on Sherlock Holmes. Not just any Sherlock Holmes story, no. This one has added dinosaurs, cybermen, a possible Kraken and a steam-driven dragon,We also have Gareth David-Lloyd trying to be English. Its obviously not seriously trying to bring a Conan Doyle story to life and I'm not convinced with the actor chosen to play Holmes, but it wasn't terrible and in some ways better than the latest Guy Ritchie version. If you are a Holmes purist, then clearly this film isn't for you. However, as someone who likes the Conan Doyle books, I loved this film. Low budget, but more than they needed for this nice mixture of Sherlock Holmes and steampunk. Favourite moment: The moment with the guy, the prostitute and the dinosaur (sounds like the start of a bad joke). 6. A Bucket of Blood (1959) Ah, Roger Corman. One of my favourite people working in film. He directed this comedy horror film and was shot in 5 days. Its about a socially awkward busboy who longs to belong with the artists and bohemians that frequent the cafe in which he works. He gets his wish after he accidently kills his landlady's cat, which he then covers in clay to cover the evidence. People are impressed by his artwork... so he moves on to larger things to kill and cover in clay. A great film. Favourite quote: "Do you really like my cat?" Just found out that this film was remade in 1995, though Roger Corman produced it not sure I could bring myself to watch it. 5. Swing Kids (1993) A slightly different take on world war 2. The Swing Kids were swing lovers in 1930 Germany who opposed the likes of Hitler. The film takes a look at this culture. It stars Christian Bale, Robert Sean Leonard and Kenneth Branagh. It follows a group of 'swing kids', two of whom end up in the Hitler Youth, and try to balance both lifestyles. It may not be for everyone, but I love it. Especially the relationship between the two characters played by Bale and Leonard. Favourite moment: The final sequences, especially right at the end. Favourite quote: "No one who likes swing can become a Nazi." 4. Sharktopus (2010) Half shark. Half octopus. All awesome! Yes, this film follows the mighty sharktopus (or S-11), who has escaped from the control of the U.S. Navy. He swims around eating people. A SyFy (why did they change it from SciFi!) original and produced by the legendary Roger Corman, this film really is the definition of 'so bad its good'. I cannot recommend seeing this film enough. If you have the SyFy channel then I am sure it will be on your screen soon. If not, ebay/amazon/ the usual place. To add to the awesomeness, it is produced by Roger Corman (who also has a small part in the film). It may be cheesy but I love this film! Favourite quote: "Trust me, okay? There is no such thing as a sharktopus." (before being attacked by sharktopus) Favourite moment: Whenever Sharktopus is on the screen. 3. Bad Taste (1987) It was a hard choice between this and Braindead, both great films made by Peter Jackson (who is producer, director, actor, make up artist and writer in this amazing film). Bad Taste follows the Astro Investigation and Defence Service (AIDS) who are a group of friends. They are sent to investiate a small town in New Zealand which has completely disappeared. It turns out a group of aliens have eaten them all. My description does not do this film justice. Definite a must-see film though. Favourite quote: "I suppose you're wondering why you're soaking in Reg's eleven secret herbs and spices." Favourite moment: The alien eating his friends brain using a spoon; that amused me. Or Derek trying to keep his brain in his head. 2. Sins of the Fleshapoids (1965) There are very few words to describe this film effectively. I usually find the acronym, "W.T.F." works quite well. Its a low-budget, campy, sci-fi film. Basically, its set long into the future and humans use fleshapoids (basically androids that look exactly like humans) as servants. The fleshapoids start to revolt, killing their owners in some cases. It was made on a budget of £600 and their effects department was comprised of people they pulled off the street that could hold a pen. If you have LoveFilm, you can watch the film online. Having checked, unless you want to fork out £40 for a region 1 copy of a 40min film, you'll have to find other ways to watch it. Though if you do get the chance, do check it out! Its not for everyone but its worth a try, especially if you like more obscure films. Favourite moment: The birth-giving scene. If you watch it... you'll know why. 1. Humanoids from the Deep (1980) Last but not least, Humanoids from the Deep. Another film Roger Corman was involved in (Executive Producer). The monster of this film is a mutation that has caused a half man/ half fish being which kills men and mate with women (who are kidnapped). It reminded me a lot of Creature from the Black Lagoon. Its a bit silly, a bit serious but entertaining! I think I need an honourable mention for Sharknado. If you haven't seen this film, go see it!
Some films are terrible, and they know it, and they play up to being cheap, funny, rubbish movies (and I include the entire Carry On series here, which I LOVE, as well as every UK 60s - 80s TV show spin off movie - Steptoe and Son, On The Buses, even Rising Damp - I love them all!) But there are some films that are serious. Serious films with big budgets promising high drama. And they bomb spectacularly! Despite that they get a cult following, and whilst even the DVD sales can't recoup their miserable losses, you always make the time to watch the movie when it inevitably pops up on ITV2 (it's like they have first dibs on all the REALLY pants movies). Some movies do OK at the cinema, despite how rubbish they are - maybe word of mouth on how rubbish they are, or maybe huge explosions help!? So without further ado, 10 movies that you'd be crackers to spend your hard earned on, but deserve an hour or so of your time (should they pop up on the telly!) 1. Speed 2: Cruise Control A film with a script so awfully bad that even the wooden trophy that is Keanu Reeves pulled out, it is so spectacularly poor that Willem Defoe, who plays the 'baddie', somehow realises this and camps it up more an more. Towards the end of the film (a totally unrealistic but still pretty cool boat crash), he is practically shouting 'oh no you didn't!' to the audience. Terrible. Loved it. 2. Mission to Mars How they got Tim Robbins, of the fabulous Shawshank Redemption, to be in this movie is beyond me, as it is appalling. And well worth a watch. I don't want to spoil the end but...they meet an alien. And one of them goes home with him (her? it?). Sorry, looks like I did spoil it. You have lost nothing! 3. The Core You can imagine the Hollywood writer's meeting. 'Let's write a disaster movie' says one. 'But let's have a twist!' says the next. 'Well, all disaster movies are based on an asteroid hitting Earth. How about this - the Earth is it's OWN enemy!' 'Sounds great! Like, global warming? Something with a message?' 'Oh God no! How about this - the Earth's VERY CORE stops spinning and we have to send a space ship, sorry, big drill ship, to get it spinning again from it's molten core - using NUCLEAR BOMBS!' 'Sounds brilliant! Let's get writing - but let's get it done in a morning, then we can sneak off for a round of golf!' *snicker snicker* And that's pretty much that. Abysmally grand. 4. Plan 9 From Outer Space A 50s B-Movie (B is bit of a high grade actually - Z movie?) which is, mostly, totally incomprehensible. So hammy that some pig farmers are jealous, it's the blueprint for any utterly terrible so-bad-it's-good movie of the modern day. It's a classic! And since it has fallen out of copyright, and is in the public domain, you can watch it for free, just Google and ye shall find! 5. Showgirls A lot of teenage boys like this, I've no idea why. Anyway, Elizabeth Berkley from Saved by the Bell turns up in Vegas wanting to be a showgirl. And then loads of people take their clothes off and get funky. That's pretty much the entire film. The acting is absolutely shocking. I recommend you watch this film immediately - as a bonus (or not?) if you catch it midday on some American channels, they have gone to the trouble of digitally adding in underwear. Bizarre but true! 6. Blacula What do you mean you've never heard of Blacula? The Black Dracula! An early 1970s drive-in movie about..well, I think it speaks for itself! I even went as far as buying this on DVD - it's a classic terrible movie! 7. Snakes on a Plane One of the more explanatory titles (terrible films SHOULD have explanatory titles, like Killer Vampires in Outer Space and Cheerleader Hell in Zombie Graveyard), Snakes on a Plane was a film I watched once, hated immensely, and over time I have come to appreciate it as the absolute pile of tosh it is. A film which was originally set out to be Anaconda 3, SOAP got a lot of financial backing, a big star (well OK Samuel L Jackson) and plenty of undeserved publicity. 10/10 for effort. 2/10 for achievement. Tip: check out movie mistakes.com first - then have fun picking the movie to bits :) 8. Jaws: The Revenge I'm not saying Jaws and even Jaws 2 weren't fab movies, especially for their time, but much like most film franchises, it went to far. Far too far. And 13 years after Jaws was released, Jaws: The Revenge limped into the cinemas. I love films like this - trading off a decent original movie, with little to no budget. The main star, Richard Dreyfuss, has long b*ggered off (leaving a miscast Michael Caine as a poor replacement) and the shark, which in hindsight was ne'er too convincing in Jaws, is no more than a few bits of ply and a bit of spray painted sponge. If I was a member of that particular family of uber-sharks, I'd swim away from Amity - there's far too much bad acting to stay! 9. Batman & Robin Unlike Catwoman, which was just dire, and not worth watching even for comedic value, what draws the viewer in to Batman and Robin is that this cost $125 MILLION to make. That's almost a million dollars a minute down the pan. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (who gets more and more like McBain from the Simpsons in every movie he starred in) and George Clooney (who quite frankly should know better - I can only hope he sacked the agent), this film has it all. Big budget. Big stars. Big franchise. How they got it wrong (and this badly wrong) is almost amusing in itself. This is well worth a watch - if only for all the deadpan (and dead cheesy) lines they give Arnie - did the producers upset the writers, or something!? Poor Alicia Silverstone. Her career never recovered. Still, they all look nice in their totally impractical suits. 10. Super Mario Bros. A film which is based on a video game (one of the first, maybe?) rather than the other way round. I think originally most people hated it because it wasn't actually that much like the video game, and therefore, all you could really judge it as is a movie. A really bizarre one where a plumber saves a princess. But no matter - I promise you if you watch it back, the shoddy sets, dodgy writing, terrible costumes and shady acting will surely have you hooked! So, crack open the popcorn, and be not afraid of these movies! Yes, they are dire, but you'll find something to love - they're all comedies after all (if not originally written as such!) But seriously. Don't watch Catwoman.
So, here are my top ten movies that I think are so bad that they are actually good. And reluctantly I admit that I really enjoyed each one. I know you may say I have guts, and to make it a tad worse for myself I will even admit that a couple of these films I have watched more than once, infact more than twice. I've watched them a lot of times. I am going to start with number ten and work up to my favourite movie that I think is so bad it has come full circle to being good. 10. The Breakfast Club. This film is about a group of kids thrown into Saturday Detention. It has all the stereotypes of a teen highschool film. The Jock, The Nerd, The Prom Queen, The Scary Girl, and The Waster. Basically, all the film is about is what the kids get up to when the Principal leaves the room. They end up smoking a joint and causing 'mayhem'. Except it isn't exactly manic and not that much happens. However, the film I think is still really good and quite an old classic. The Breakfast Club probably isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I think eventhough the storyline isn't so great it is a good film of its time. The Breakfast Club was released 15th February 1985. 9. Red Eye Red Eye show the drama unfolding between Lisa, who is flying home on the last plane after her grandmothers funeral. She is targeted due to her position as a manager at a prestigious hotel, a hit man uses Lisa to ensure that his intentions to assassinate the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Charles Keefe go to plan. My favourite cheesy moment of this movie has to be where the baddy, Jackson, gets a pen in the throat but still keeps up the chase. The parts in this movie that are supposed to be dramatic kind of made me laugh. The story really wasn't complex and was really simple to watch, there were no great suprises. But as far as a thriller making you laugh I thought this was perfect. Red Eye was released 19th August 2005. 8. Jeepers Creepers 2. So, the first Jeepers Creepers I didn't think was too bad but I didn't think it was great either. It did try to keep to the horror concept no matter how unbelievable the storyline was. And then came, Jeepers Creepers 2. Well, what can we say about this, other than the bus full of wailing teens was hilarious. Absolutley no scare factor in this film at all. I don't think they even attempted to make the sequel thrilling. But I did love the part where the 'monster' began to lick the window of the bus to try and taste his 'prey'. The soundtrack for the film is just as obvious...... "jeepers.....creepers.....where d'ya get those peepers". This film was great in its own right and I have voluntarily watched this film a few times. Sadly, I did again enjoy the film. Jeepers Creepers 2 was released 29th August 2003. 7. I Know Who Killed Me Here we get to the Lindsey Lohan effort. This is supposed to be a thriller but the plot is just too ridiculous to be taken seriously. The fact Lindsey again plays twins, but twins that don't know one another exist, seperated at birth. One being a stripper and the other being brought up in a repectable family. After one of them is abducted by a serial killer the other is discovered in a ditch, a case of mistaken identity begins. It turns out that the twins can physically feel what happens to the other, so while one twin is losing her limbs to a serial killer the others are just dropping off because she feels what the other feels. Strange? Confused? If my review of this particular film seems a little all over the place and random; this pays homage to the movie as it is exactly the same. A movie about a serial killer with a prosthetic limb fetish and some bad acting from Lilo is this movie in a nutshell. But wierdly, the film was quite good. Shocking storyline, shocking acting, but I wasnted to carry on watching, and yes! I have watched it more than once. I am hoping other people felt the same. Aside from the bad strip tease I did really quite enjoy it. I Know Who Killed Me was released on 27th July 2007. 6. See No Evil, Hear No Evil. This movie is an absolute gem! True slap-stick comedy. When I was younger I must have worn out my video copy of this film, and have since replaced on DVD. When the blind man named Wally applies for a job at the deaf guy, Dave's concession stand they become friends. My favourite scene is a tie between Wally smushing his icecream into Dave's hair and Dave banging his feet on the ground so that Wally can follow him. I also, thought the part where Wally was telling Dave all of the things that people were saying about him in the bar, which resulted in Wally sticking up for his friend and getting in a fight. Through the help of Dave using the times on a clockface to direct Wally where to throw his punches he actually won. Eventhough there was a plot line about Wally and Dave being caught up in a murder and something about a coin, I just love the film for the friendship between the two. It has to be on this list as it isn;t the best of films but the pairing of Wilder and Pryor is movie gold! See no Evil, Hear no Evil was released on 12th May 1989. 5.The Condemned. So straight away the film wasn't going to be the best when they cast a wrestler to play the leading part. Eventhough, I quite enjoyed Steve Austin in this movie, it always seems a little bit deflating with all the pretend fighting and macho brovado. So the story goes that 10 'condemned' to death prisoners all get dumped on an island and have to fight to the death. The last one standing gets to leave the island as a free man, or woman. And it is all in the name of entertainment. So despite, the wrestling type scraps and the some-what questionable acting the film isn't too bad. I definatley enjoyed it. I really do like Vinnie Jones and the hard men he plays, he doesn't disappoint in this film. It is all a little bit cheesy with all the typical one liners that come from the convicts, but overall quite a good watch. The Condemned was released on 27th April 2007. 4. The Running Man. The Running Man is set in a run down 2019, and is centred around a television show where people have to escape serial killers. They have to fight to the death in order to escape. This is another film I watched since being really little, the film is pretty amusing in some parts, such as one of the serial killers or "stalkers" that is an Opera Singing-Christmas Tree, or appears to be dressed like a christmas tree, flying around the under ground in a cheap version of the bat mobile. I thought the take on what 2019 would be like was great, and it has to be my favourite Arnie film, complete with his signature 'i'll be back'. This is so bad that its good, it just had to make my list. The Running Man was released on 13th November 1987. 3.The Ruins/The Happening I had to put these two as joint number 3 as they are both just as ridiculous and far fetched, and about killer shrubbery. Or trees, or vines, whatever. One being based in a forest somewhere exotic (The Ruins) and the other in the City (The Happening). Both films are about being killed by plant life. And both are just as bad as the other with the storylines. But just had to be watched. I did actually spend money to go to the cinema and watch the The Ruins. Other than being slightly bored but unexplainably enthrauled I did end up gagging ALOUD whilst watching this film. One particular part where a girl is trying to slice her skin off to get the vines out of her body did really make me feel sick. But then they would ruin it by making the plants be able to mimic a mobile rintone.....What??!!! Still liked them though, even bought The Happening on DVD. Slap me now, there is just no hope! The Ruins was released on 4th April 2008 The Happening was released on 13th June 2008 2.Romy and Michelle's Highschool Reunion. Love Love Love this film. Even me and my friend used to pretend that we were Romy and Michelle! "No we invented post-its". What a great a slice of movie genius! Yes, it isn't really that great. And yes, it is all over acted and ridiculous. But Yes, I love it and I am not going to deny it!! I just love the fun feeling of this film. It was obviously never written as a serious piece, and with an actress such as Lisa Kudrow starring, it just had to be a comedy, and a fabulous one at that. I think the flash backs that take you back to when they are younger are so funny. Another added to my DVD collection, one that dares to be bad, it is just brilliant. Romy and Michelle was released on 25th April 1997. 1.Showgirls. Number One, has to be SHOWGIRLS. The queen of all guilty pleasures. That film that is just so shockingly bad, that I just love. I know how terrible the film is, but other than the acrobatic/crazy/can't-see-how-it-would-work sex scene, I am just forced to like it. Bad acting, quite a change from Elizabeth Berkley's Saved By The Bell days. Also, not so great story about a crazy stripper trying to make it big as a Vegas Showgirl, and some very questionable scenes, the film is just brilliant. I have bought this on DVD and have watched it so many times I cant even count. I know I am not the only one out there that thinks this film is actually that terrible that I just love it. Show of hands please, don't be shy. Showgirls was released on 22nd September 1995. Thank you for reading.
Right! Here we go. I've given this literally minutes worth of thought and have decided on the following films (in no particular order): 1: Top Gun: Cheesiest Moment - The beach volleyball scene, popular with some folks for reasons which are beyond me! Why it's great - Sheer cheesiness throughout! A true 80's story of triumph against adversity set against a macho gung-ho backdrop of an elite fighter training academy. Why it's awful - The script, the predictability, the cringe-worthy buddy-buddy moments etc.! 2: Aliens: Cheesiest Moment - 'What are we supposed to use man? Harsh Language?' (colonial marine responding to order that they can't use weapons against the aliens). Why it's great - An iconic film and a true classic for all dedicated sci-fi fans. Why it's awful - It drips with eighties arrogance and seems to completely lack self-awareness of it's own far-fetched plotline. 3: The Fast and the Furious: Cheesiest Moment - The four-car quarter mile drag race which seems to go on for about five miles. Why it's great - It's for car fans and therefore has pride of place in my collection! Why it's awful - Widely panned after it's release, it gained notoriety as a cheese-fest amongst those who didn't 'get it'. 4: Anchorman: Cheesiest Moment - 'You ate a whole wheel of cheese?' (Baxter the Wonder dog) Why it's great - A great Will Ferrell film - very funny throughout. Why it's awful - Not really a bad film in my eyes, but it's cringe-factor can make it a struggle to watch with both eyes open! I've also been told by mates that the setting and atmosphere are so consistent and robust that it puts a lot of people off! 5: Days of Thunder: Cheesiest Moment - When Tom Cruise (Cole) turns up to have a go in his race car for the first time and promptly sets an amazing lap time. Why it's great - It's just a brilliant film for car fans. Why it's awful - As with Top Gun, the plot is predictable, the music cheesy etc. Not a classic by any means! 6: Twins: Cheesiest Moment - All of it. Why it's great - Two of the biggest characters of the 1980's brought together! Why it's awful - Wall-to-wall tag lines and cheesiness! 7: Ghostbusters: Cheesiest Moment - The Giant Marshmallow man walking through New York! Why it's great - An all-time classic - why don't they make them like this anymore! Why it's awful - Predictable, gung-ho and cheesey - but this also makes it great! 8: Predator: Cheesiest Moment - The severed arm falling to the ground still firing furiously! Why it's great - Another classic and iconic American 80's action flick, full of testosterone, shooting and larger-than-life characters! Why it's awful - Come on, an alien hunter stalking the South American jungles? And Arnie can stop him using scout tricks and sharp sticks? 9: Gone in 60 Seconds: Cheesiest Moment - Nicholas Cage gently talking to 'Eleanor', a temperamental car which won't start. Why it's great - In one word; Cars. It's also got Angelina Jolie in it, which is never a bad thing! Why it's awful - Over acting from certain performers makes parts a little cringe-worthy! 10: Top Gun (again): Cheesiest Moment - OK, so it has been put in twice - but this is for a good reason; it is clearly twice as bad (and twice as good) as the other films here! Another reason why it's great - It's got fast planes and a power-rock soundtrack! Another reason why it's awful - The piano / bar scene. I literally cannot watch it. Thank the heavens or fast forward.
Here are my Top 10 Films That Are So Bad They Are Good. I will start of at the bottom and finish with my number one just so you all read the whole review from start to end. NUMBER 10 - JUDGE DREDD Favourite saying: I am duh law Spin-offs: None Created: 1995 Star of the film: Sylvester Stallone This has got to be one of the worst films ever made but everytime it is on the TV it some how gets kept on. It is a mix of Blade Runner and Total Recal ans mybe that's why I have to watch it. The whole film is about a futuristic megalopolis in which there are Judges which can instantly send you to jail for a crime you have committed with no jury. Judge Dredd is Sylvester Stallone and is the big Judge which everyone fears but when a plot to overthrow the current government Judge Dredd is framed for a crime in which he did not commit. NUMBER 9 - Freddy Got Fingered Favourite saying: Daddy would you like some sausage Spin-offs: None Created: 2001 Stars: Tom Green Now this is a crap movie but so bad you have to see it. It's full of weird and wonderful things in which Tom Green has to push the limits. For example he runs over a Deer in the road and decides to cut it open and wear its coat on his head whole saying I have to get inside the Deers head. If you liked the Tom Green show then you will like this but I would not recommend this for the young ones. NUMBER 8 - The Karate Kid Part III Favourite saying: Danielson Spin-offs: Karate Kid 4 Created: 1989 Stars: Ralph Macchio & Pat Morita I loved the first two of these films but for some reason I don't know why. The third film of the trilogy I thought was stretching it out a bit. But if you're looking for something that will make you feel all warm inside then this is the film for you. It's pretty much like the first two in that he gets bullied and taunted and has to overcome his fears. The annoying part of the film is that he becomes childish and starts to shout at Mr Miagi (he is only little!). NUMBER 7 - MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE Favourite saying: By the power of Grey skull Spin-offs: None Created: 1987 Stars: Dolph Lundgren & Courtney Cox Now this takes me back a bit and after seeing it again you just can't beat a film like this that pushes the imagination to the limits. He-Man is already one of my favourite cartoons of all time and would have to say that the only reason I watch this is that there are no other films to compare it against. Dolph Lundgren looks the part but there is something about it that makes it so funny. Maybe I just watch it because all the women wear tight leather suits. Bad acting but great to watch! NUMBER 6 - KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE Favourite saying: None Spin-offs: None Created: 1988 Stars: Grant Cramer After watching this I think this is one of the worst films but it is very entertaining. The main reason why the movie was quite bad was because the visual effects were rubbish and the costumes were really bad. It is so ridiculous it really difficult not to watch time and time again. It involves some weird aliens that look like dogs with clown make up on and come to pur planet to make us into food. They wrap their victims up in cotton candy and their makeup is horrendous. Overall very bizarre - a must watch! NUMBER 5 - EVOLUTION Favourite saying: Head and Shoulders Spin-offs: None Created: 2001 Stars: David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Dan Aykroyd Now this film I could watch time and time again and never gets boring. The bad part of the film is the end in which they use Head and Shoulders against a mega blob which looks like a giant beer belly. Overall the special effects are great and a real good spoof movie. I loved every minute of this film. NUMBER 4 - LAST ACTION HERO Favourite saying: Did Someone Say Action? Spin-offs: None Created: 1993 Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, F. Murray Abraham and Austin O'Brien. I loved this film from the first time I saw it mainly because it involves a kid who walks through a cinema screen with a magical cinema ticket. Now if you like me I would love to do this and go into films such as Basic Instinct and so on. Another reason you are pulled in is because of Arnie and you know what you're getting with him (lots of action and weapons). Overall great film but poor script. NUMBER 3 - NEVERENDING STORY Favourite saying: Spin-offs: Never-ending Story 2,3 and 4. Created: 1994 Stars: Jason James Richter, Jack Black and Carole Finn I would have to say that this is the best of the series as most first films are in a series. Every time this is on TV I have to watch it as it reminds me of my youth. The big flying white rug in which Bastian the lad who ends up in Fantasia through a book called yes you guessed it Never-ending Story. His goal is to save them all and I guess the main reason you watch this over and over is because its a feel good movie for family and all. NUMBER 2 - THE TOXIC AVENGER Favourite saying: Melvin was a 90lb weakling until nuclear waste transformed him into...The Toxic Avenger Spin-offs: 2,3,4,5 Created: 1984 Stars: Mitch Cohen, Andree Maranda and Jennifer Prichard This film is so rubbish you have to watch it. Some skinny lad gets thrown into a toxic drum. He gets out and runs home on fire and has a bath, only to find out that he is a hideous creature. The film has a low budget and has lots of camp bits about it. But there are lots of reasons to watch it and lots not to but you just can't turn this tuff off its great! NUMBER 1 - ROCKY IV Favourite saying: To beat me, he will have to kill me Spin-offs: Rocky 100, 101 (only joking - Rocky Balboa) Created: 1985 Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Brigitte Nielsen, Dolph Lundgren, James Brown and Tony Burton. This film was just too made for propaganda and you can clearly see this throughout the film. It's so bad but good that it had to be my number one. With two heavyweights like Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren fighting against each other (USA vs. Russia) this always had a winning formula. After Drago (Dolph Lundgren) kills Apollo Creed (Rocky's close friend) in the ring after a brutal fight Rocky decides to take on the Drago in his own country Russia. Any guesses as to what happens? Well I won't tell you just in case you missed it all these years but it does make you feel like the right side won and that it isn't biased. Who writes this stuff? With the names Ivan Drago (sounds like a tank) and Clubber Lang it's all good fun and makes you want to watch it over and over. This has to be my number one bad but good movie of all time. Many thanks for reading my review - I hope you enjoyed it.
I added this one to the site for a bit of fun as most five year plus dooyoo members have filled in all their top tens by now and so might like another irreverent film one to mess around with. These are the films you watch, but you shouldnt as you know they are silly, but you cant resist, quickly hooked in when the endless replays pop up on normal telly. You mustnt pick films that are good because that spoils it. Just pick the stuff that has a special something you like, the type of movie you dont tell your best mates that you dig, perhaps even earning a bomb rating in your reliable movie review book. These are mine. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = # BIO DOME # Pauly Shore (1996) I could put a whole list of the Weasels (Pauly Shore) movies in here as they really are an acquired comedy taste. Shore has done a few of these bonehead comedies in his time and most of them made me laugh big time. Bio Dome is particularly funny is it takes the p*ss out of those lentil eating eco warriors, which most of us should be proud to do. The Bio Dome, a giant greenhouse style warehouse, really exists, a self sustained biosphere for students and scientists to cut themselves of from the world for a year and live of the land inside etc. But when some stoners (Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin amongst) are locked inside with the scientist then all hell breaks loose. Junk food wrappers are left in the vegetable plots, windows opened to let the marijuana smoke out, and water tanks used for pool parties What can I say guys. It was silly but it made me giggle. Oh and Kylie Minogue is briefly in it, which says all you need to know. # BEVERLY HILLS NINJA # Chris Farley (1997) Chris Farley was feted as the new John Candy, sealing the deal by also dying of a fatal mixture of Class A drugs and burgers. These two really did die on the toilet! The plot line went that baby Farley is washed up in Japan on the beach, soon trained in the arts of Kung Fu (and breaking everything, comedy style..) to encourage his self esteem through his teens. When the bumbling and overweight student is assigned to a task in a California Dojo he soon falls for his sexy teacher (Nicola Sheridan), who gets him involved in all manner of physical shenanigans his kung-fu skills clearly cant deal with. There just something funny about the big guy getting punched in the head or walking into iron bars and doors all the time, Laurel & Hardy style. He beats Lee Evens any day of the week at the physical comedy. Farley is that fat numpti you have at work, usually in the stores or warehouse, who has to act the clown because he looks likes the clown. # UNDER SIEGE 2: The Dark Territory # Steven Seagal (1994) Not a patch on the first film this ridiculous and awaited sequel for Seagal action fans sees the big man on a train journey to hell, protecting his sweet daughter and saving the world as per usual. The whole concept of the bad guys steeling a train to shoot down satellites with a grazer weapon is truly stupid, but its just great territory for Seagal to crack some heads the only way he can, the film quickly becoming rather silly. Talk about a script written in a day. Its not the worse Seagal film by far, but certainly the dumbest. There is a very long list ahead of this for that honor! But if it comes on then Im there with Casey Rieback, trying to secure the back car. In fact its on BBC1 on Friday night! # NORTH SEA HIJACK# Roger Moore (1982) Post Bond, Roger Moore did some really bad movies. In fact he never did a decent movie again. In fact his Bond films sucked so he never did a decent movie! The worse one he did was Bullseye, but just before that he did North Sea Hijack, which to this day no one can quite work out if its the worse film ever made or a parody of Bond and so hilarious. The director says he still doesnt know, but the film that came out wasnt the one he meant, thats for sure. Because the Americans have no idea where Iraq is, never mind the North Sea in 1979, the movie was bizarrely renamed Folks, one or two film hacks adding the word old in their reviews, considering the age of the creaking cast. Moore plays HMS navy frogman Rufus Excalibur (yup!), up against Anthony Perkins, who intends to blow up a North Sea platform. The funniest bit of the movie is when Moore arises from the water triumphant from his not so covert mission wearing a vermillion wetsuit (bright orange to you and me), only to be greeted by the Queen, the Prime Minister and the Home Secretary! The Queen has medal in hand, all this on the edge of the bobbing oil platform that he stopped Perkins blowing up! What are they doing there! Its hilarious anyway. # THE SWARM # Michael Caine (1978) This truly awful film was one of many projects Michael Caine was attracted to after he had made his name in England. Our Mick liked his money and would take anything if the cheque was big enough. I think theres a website for this film alone to comment on just how bad it was. Its one of those films that is so stupid it just makes you laugh. The whole concept of a swarm of African bees bringing Texas to a standstill in just two weeks cant be beaten in the script hilarity stakes. Not only that but the African bees even mange to explode a nuclear power station in the bargain! Poor old cockney Cain even had to be called Brad Cane (presumably the American for Michael Caine) for his fist big American feature in that hive of Hollywood has-beens- all 2 hours 20 painful minutes of it. Some say Irwins film was a subtle metaphor for the black crime wave taking over America whilst others thought it was misinterpreted and was meant to be silly B-Movie fun. What ever it was its very bad and very quotable. # THE BONE COLLECTOR # Denzel Washington (1999) This has to be one of the dumbest movies ever made, the ending even dumber than that. Rather ridiculously, paraplegic police detective Lincoln Ryme (Denzel Washington), manages to single handedly (its the only body part he can move) solve a serial killer case and then overpower and kill the cities most notorious killer in question that paralyzed him in the first place some two years back. Such is the loyalty to Ryhme for his accident in the line of duty the whole of the NYPD are prepared to work through their weekends for nothing to help capture the killer, only to fail miserably. But its the man sucking out of a tube who manages to overpower this clearly intelligent and elusive killer that has evaded everyone, only to come to an end at the Washington hospital bed! Its just one of those films you watch and scratch you head and think that clearly no one has considered how preposterous the plot is. Just ludicrous! # COMMANDO # Arnold Schwarzenegger (1986) Going Commando means something very different in the new millennium but back in the 80s it was comfortably Arnies most ridiculous movie. For 11 years it had the highest body count in the action category in Hollywood and the indestructible Colonel Matrix was that symbol of celluloid American imperial power around the world. However many magazines and bazookas were emptied into Arnie he would not die, picking out shells and bullets with his teeth between reloads. The dialogue was dire but irreverent, his first film after the huge success of Terminator allowing him to play a human version of the robot to kill with impunity. Whether his slaughter was metaphor for Americas atrocious policy in Central America of the time can be left to interpretation. # AIRPORT 79 # George Kennedy (1979) The Airport franchise was generally a pretty poor sequence of films in the seventies but its what everyone went to see at the cinema at the time. The queue would be huge and the excitement palpable as Joe Patroni (George Kennedy) would give the plane the once over before it was allowed to take off and eventually crash. The fact George crashed a plane every film was reason enough to fire the guy from the airline, you would have thought. The Airplane films brilliantly spoofed it in the eighties, a measure on just how big these movies are. The final Airport film inevitably involved the Concorde. First they have to outrun a missile by doing barrel roles; then they have to land without breaks, all that with the doors being blown off. This was, of course, a French Concorde. It was totally over the top trying to better the last film and when ever they pop up on terrestrial TV on a wet weekend they are just an irresistible watch to see just how cheesy and mindless action packed movies were back there. # EASY MONEY # Rodney Dangerfield (1983) This was cult stand-up comic Rodney Dangerfields third film, sandwiched between the brilliant Caddyshack and likewise Back to School. It definitely fits into the so bad its good category because Dangerfield was unsure whether to play this at his uncouth comedy best or try to win a new audience or play the chubby but likeable party animal. The premise of Easy Money was that of Brewsters Millions do these things and smarten up or your act or get cut out of the lucrative will which Dangerfield fails to do. There are some brilliantly comic moments in it but theres also long flat periods when the big fat Jewish comedian isnt on screen. But Rodney is only funny pulling those pig-eyed faces and cracking the one-liners, opportunities few and far between here. But boy when he is its very funny and obnoxious. # THE FIST OF FURY # Bruce Lee (1971) Theres nothing wrong with Bruce Lees films, they were revolutionary at the time, a Hong Kong martial arts pic finally breaking Hollywood with Enter the Dragon. But they are also funny when they shouldnt be. The first twenty minutes of Fist of Fury is hilarious. Bruce has returned to his masters dojo to discover he is dead. When arriving at the funeral, wailing and unannounced, one of the monks just whacks him on the head with a frying pan, Lee, of course, falling into the grave in driving rain. How can an invincible Kung-Fu master be caught out like that you wonder? There are numerous moments of chop suey action in this like that which will make you giggle, that contrast of Bruce lee the legend, and Lee the clown. You also get to see a young Jacky Chan kicked through one of those ubiquitous and useful paper walls you have in the Kung-Fu movies. Coupled with awful dubbing it just summed up that type of martial arts movies that predominated then and was well and truly lost in translation.