My top5 jokes for the time being (Top Five Jokes)

Member Name: jenga2010

Product:	Top Five Jokes
Date:	20/05/09 (406 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Have a wee giggle

Disadvantages: Might be boring...

Jokes are a daily part of our lives. I must hear at least one joke a day. A joke a day.. keeps the doctor away...

Christmas Crackers are the best source of jokes and are an ice breaker at the table...

My top 5 jokes are...

(1)...What's ET short for?
Because he's got wee legs.

(2)....Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

(3)....A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

(4)....How do frogs communicate? Morse Toad!!

(5)...The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man
around that they had a standing Rs 10,000 bet. The bartender would
squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the
lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice
out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day,
a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses.

"I'd like to try the bet," he said in a tiny, squeaky voice.

After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to
the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as
the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into
the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000 and asked
the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack,
or a weightlifter, or what?

"I work for the Income Tax department."

Summary: 5 jokes hee hee