Nothing says "I love you" like a pre-nuptual aggreement (Top Ten Celebrity Couples)

Member Name: Lynsey100

Product:	Top Ten Celebrity Couples
Date:	17/10/06 (1881 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: More press coverage

Disadvantages: It'll never last

In Celebrity World a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. If you are Britney Spears you can even get married for a day, just to see if you like it. Celebrities like Nicole Kidman can get divorced, and then get married again in a Catholic church, provided they have enough money of course, because God doesn’t forgive poor people. Dating a celebrity can do wonders for your career (as Liz Hurley demonstrated after going out in that safety-pin dress), so celebrities tend to date other famous people in order to boost their press coverage. Most celebrity couples don’t last, and the media is often blamed for that. Here are my top ten celebrity couples, the ones who I believe are really in love.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
If you’ve ever seen “Striptease” then you’ll appreciate what a lucky boy Ashton Kutcher is. I’d love to look as good as Demi Moore now, never mind when I’m in my forties! They got married in a secret Kabbalah (well, they are celebrities after all) ceremony when Ashton was 27 and Demi was 42. Despite the 15 year age gap, they seem really happy together, and Ashton appears to have a great relationship with Demi’s daughters and Bruce Willis.

Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas
When these two got together the rumour mill went into overdrive with the gossip mongers accusing Ms Jones of using the relationship to further her career. I don’t know why the idea that she would fancy Michael Douglas is so hard to accept, I think he is rather sexy myself. Six years and two children later they have proved the critics wrong so far. Yeah, they acted like a pair of prats with the whole “$1 000 000 dollars isn’t a lot of money to us,” palaver, but apart from that they seem like a nice couple who enjoy a good game of golf together.

Charles and Camilla
I am really not a fan of the Royal Family, but I was secretly quite happy for these two when they got together. They have had so much opposition to their relationship; from the Queen, the Queen Mother and those idiots with their conspiracy theories who won’t shut up about Diana. Diana is gone, and he was entitled to marry whoever he wants. If his sons can accept it and be happy for him, then the die hard Diana fan club should keep their mouths closed and do the same. Camilla has been demonised by the media at times, but I think she seems like a nice old girl. She and Charles are obviously devoted to each other, so let them get on with it I say!

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
I can’t believe that Goldie Hawn is sixty. Seriously, she looks twenty years younger! Apparently, she credits her youthful appearance to meditation and yoga. I just wonder if there is a man in a white coat on standby to inject her with botox as she sits in the lotus position. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been partners for twenty two years and have raised four children together, which is pretty impressive by Hollywood’s standards. They believe that their relationship is so strong because they never got married. There is probably a lot of truth in that!

Sting and Trudie Styler
I had to include these two because of their allegedly amazing sex life. They have been practicing and teaching tantric sex since 1999. From what I can gather it is sort of a mystical thing to do with ancient Eastern philosophy and it involves meditation and chanting and things. Anyway, point is that the sex can last for hours and gives the ladies multiple orgasms. Apparently Sting can get jiggy with it for ten hours at a time. Lucky Trudie.

Louise and Jamie Redknapp
These two make an amazingly attractive couple. Jamie has those chiselled good looks, and Louise is a naturally beautiful girl who would look fantastic without a scrap of make up. They could have ended up like Posh and Becks, but decided to keep their relationship and their marriage private as there was no glossy magazine deal for their wedding. In 2004 Louise gave birth to a little boy, after a four year struggle to have children, and they look like such a happy family. I bet she wouldn’t swap places with Posh for a second.

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon
These two have been dating since 1988 and they have two children together. It is another non-traditional younger man, older woman relationship that has stood the test of time. I read that they keep their Oscars in the bathroom, which must be interesting for guests when they have to relieve themselves! Robbins and Sarandon are well known in Hollywood for speaking out or issues ranging from the environment and human rights, to politics, AIDS and hunger. They have faced criticism for appearing unpatriotic because of their anti-war stance, which is very unfair. I think that they seem like really decent people.

Richard and Judy
They are one of the most famous couples in Britain, and however much you may love or hate them; you can’t deny that they are still clearly devoted to each other after twenty years of marriage. Poor Judy is always so exasperated at her buffoon of a husband. He is often possessed by voices to say the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time possible. I can remember cringing along with her while watching their Bill Clinton interview, as Richard compared his Tesco shop lifting incident to Clinton’s impeachment in an embarrassing attempt to empathise with the former President. It is no wonder her hands shake so much, being married to a man able to ask questions of colossal stupidity, while she attempts to dish out her own sweetness and wisdom. However, I’m certain they’ll grow old, er….older together.

Reece Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe
Reece met Ryan at her 21st birthday bash, and they married two years later. They have two children, and have been married for seven years. I think it is pretty impressive that they’ve been together that long, considering how young they were when they wed, and their celebrity status. What a good looking couple they are too.

Steve and Terri Irwin
I’m not sure if I believe in fate, soul mates or love at first sight, but these two people were absolutely made for each other. Terri met Steve at his zoo while she was on holiday in Australia. She was involved in wildlife conservation back in the states, so the two of them hit it off straight away. Eight months later they got married, and they filmed the first “Crocodile Hunter” documentary on their honeymoon. Steve and Terri were clearly devoted to each other, and if there was ever a match made in heaven, this was it. Sadly, their marriage was cut short by Steve’s untimely death in September.


And now for the self-absorbed, philandering attention seekers. Here are my pick of the worst celebrity couples, just for my own amusement!

Madonna and Guy Richie
If the rumours are true, then these two are about to adopt an African baby. I find this quite worrying. Any responsible person would take at least a year off work to help the poor little soul settle in to life in a new country with strange people, but I predict the baby will get passed around nannies as soon as the novelty has worn off. Madonna has always been a trend setter, and an African baby could become the latest must have accessory for her celebrity followers. All those “celebs” who followed suit and converted to Kabbalah overnight will soon be seen carrying little African babies around in special bags like the ones they use for those weird little rat dogs.

Posh and Becks
Who else could turn their marriage into a brand like “Mars” or “Heinz”? I cannot stand the hypocrisy of these two. They have courted publicity throughout their entire relationship. It isn’t like they needed the money for those Hello wedding photos! They continue to market themselves with those hideous perfume ads where they had to airbrush a bum on for Posh. The Beckhams would not have the riches and finery that they love so much were it not for the media, yet they continually moan about the media intrusion into their lives! I wish they would shut up and disappear. If celebrities like Johnny Depp manage to live their lives away from the media spotlight, then so could the Beckhams. If they wanted to that is.

Jordan and Peter Andre
I don’t think there is any aspect of their marriage that they would be unwilling to publicise. Surely “billionaire” Jordan doesn’t need the money.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
Ms Lopez makes a mockery of marriage, as she changes husbands as often as most women change their hairstyles. Every time she bleats on about how it is “true love”. Yeah, right. Another Zsa Zsa Gabor in the making I think. Shut up Jenny from the block, J-Lo or whoever you are this week.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes is a beautiful young woman, and she is wasted on that poisonous alien-worshipping dwarf whose baby she has just given birth to. I think she needs to be rescued. We should send in Jack Bauer to get her, before she becomes completely brain washed.

Elton John and David Furnish
Elton John might be a talented musician and multi-millionaire, but he behaves like a spoilt brat most of the time. David Furnish seems very normal by comparison, and has been with Elton for twelve years now. I suppose all that money must make Elton’s tantrums easier to put up with.

Summary: When the vow breaks, your celebdaq shares will fall