| Product: |
Top Ten TV Programmes...Ever! |
| Date: |
16/08/06 (434 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Very entertaining
Disadvantages: Not on enough
I watch far too much television, and revel in being a couch potato. Going out is dangerous. You could get hit by a car or mugged. Stay in and watch the telly I say. Here are all my favourite programmes.
1. 24
This is not the sort of programme that you tune into occasionally. If you watch 24, then you are almost certainly an addict. As most people will know, each episode represents one hour out of the day. There is usually a frantic effort to prevent a terror attack, or catch terrorists on the run. For me, it is the most exciting show on the box. I have endless fantasies involving Jack Bauer and I having fun in the interrogation room. The man sure can handle a Glock; I'd like to see what else he can do.
2. Only Fools and Horses
I never tire of watching Del Boy trying to flog his "merchandise". My personal favourites include the riding helmets spray painted red, the trench coats made for hunchbacks, and who could forget the blow up dolls?!! I love his pathetic attempts at speaking French, his dodgy gold jewellery, and his favourite tipple - Baileys with cherryade. Rodney, his ever suffering younger brother (or "Dave" as Trigger likes to call him) provides much of the comedy by being humiliated on a regular basis. The episode where he had to pretend to be fifteen on a holiday abroad is one of the very best. My favourite "Only Fools.." moment, has to be when they chase off some muggers dressed as Batman and Robin. I could watch it a million times and still laugh.
3. The Simpsons
This is one of the funniest programmes ever made. When George Bush senior encouraged American families to be more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons, he most definitely got it the wrong way round. Homer is stupid beyond belief, lazy, fat, insensitive yet very loveable. Is he really that bad a role model? He does love his family at least! The ever suffering Marge deserves a medal for being the most patient woman in the universe, the thread that holds the family together. Let’s face it, the Walton’s were boring. Here are some of my favourite Homer quotes – just for fun!!
“Marge, your paintings look just like the things they look like”
“I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t…I mean s-m-r-A-t.”
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand!”
I have to throw in this cracker from Groundskeeper Willie – “I diddna cry when ma father was hung for stealin’ a pig. But I’ll cry now.”
4. ER
Of all the hospital dramas on the box, this is by far the best. I think I may have fancied all of the Doctors in ER at some point. I don’t know if it’s the stethoscopes of the white coats, but
they really do get the old juices flowing. Dr Luka may be the prettiest man on earth, what I would give for a full body exam. I really like the fact that the female characters in ER are always very strong minded and intelligent. It is a really fast paced and exciting programme. Far better without George Clooney in it.
5. Prison Break
The fact that I have imagined being trapped in a cell with a naked Linc and Michael has nothing to do with why this show makes my list. From the very first episode I was hooked on the albeit very far fetched plot. Michael is a genius with a desire to rescue people. He got himself sent to prison, in order to break his brother out, and escape the death penalty for a crime he didn’t commit. There is a lot of depth to the characters on this programme, as we find out in the flashback episode which details how the main players got sent to Fox River Jail.
It showed us how a small event can trigger a massive change in a man’s life, taking him down a very different path. T-Bag and Captain Bellick (the obligatory bent screw) are the baddies that I love to hate and wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.
6. The Generation Game
It is a real shame that this isn’t on anymore, although it really didn’t work with the crude Jim Davidson as presenter. Brucie was just naturally funny, and had a way of bringing out the comical side of the contestants. I always remember the time when there was a really old lady on, who was the mother of 13 children, and Brucie kept saying “Don’t let her lie down, for God’s sake don’t let her lie down!” in that zany way of his, it was extremely funny. The old people were great on this programme, especially when they had to do break dancing and stuff like that. Hilarious. It was great fun at the end when the contestants had to remember the prizes and you could jump up and down shouting “Cuddly toy! Cuddly toy!!!”. Those were the days….
7. Steve Irwin – Crocodile Hunter
I am a bit of a natural history buff, a fan of David Attenborough and the like. Steve Irwin is passionate, intelligent, and eccentric. He leaps up trees to grab deadly snakes and strokes them as if they were fluffy little kittens. He play wrestles with crocodiles like they were little children. The guy really knows his stuff. Steve and his wife own Australia zoo, and all the money that they make goes into conservation. He’s one of the good guys. I’ve often wondered what he would be like between the sheets because he is so rugged and good with his hands.
8. House
Hugh Laurie is excellent as the anti-social maverick MD, capable of curing the most bizarre illnesses, but seriously lacking any kind of bedside manner. He doesn’t give a s**t about rules or authority. You just never know what he will do next. His one-liners make me laugh and cringe at the same time. Here are some examples:
Dr Cameron – Twelve year olds don’t have sex
Dr House – Their mistake
Dr Chase – I’d give her two months.
Dr House – On the bright side, it still means I was right.
I find the other characters a little bit bland sometimes, but it is still a fantastic programme.
9. Wallace and Gromit
There have only been three episodes made for TV, but I think it still qualifies as a TV programme. This is animation at its very best. The attention to detail is incredible. Each show is packed with visual jokes (like Gromit reading a paper with the headline “Dog Reads Paper”) and whacky gadgets such as the techno – trousers. I think my favourite is “A Close Shave”, co-starring Sean (gettit?!) the sheep and Preston, the psychopathic dog. In this episode, Wallace gets a love interest in the form of the lovely Wendolene Ramsbottom. Crackin’!
10. Prisoner Cell Block H
I’m being very nostalgic including this programme, but when I was younger I never missed it. Bea was “top dog” for most of the series. This meant that she was allowed to operate the press in the laundry room and beat people up a lot, but she was a goodie really. Then there was the old “lag“Lizzie, who was about 100 years old and addicted to booze and cigarettes. The screws (prison guards) are very memorable too. Meg was the nice one that saw the best in everyone, but people will remember Joan Ferguson (the Freak) the best. The Freak is one of the great TV baddies. In all prison programmes you have to have a bent screw, but she was the best. A very scary woman. I used to shudder when she would slip on her leather gloves because you knew somebody was going to get bashed!! Oh, how I cheered when she ended up as an inmate on the very last episode!
Summary: Why go jogging when you can stay in and watch TV?
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