10 B***** Awful Books (Top Ten Unreadable/Unfinishable Books)

Member Name: TigerTiger

Product:	Top Ten Unreadable/Unfinishable Books
Date:	05/02/02 (196 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You need to read the bad to appreciate the good!

Disadvantages: Need I explain, they are in my top ten most awful reads list!!!

What a fascinating category to write on and one that I simply could not resist. Reading on average five books a week means that I have discovered a fair few bad ones along the way, it also means that I have I have formed opinions on those that I don’t want to read. Now, I get to rant on about all of them…..FANTASTIC!!!

Here they are in no particular order:-

~~~1~~~
Victoria Beckham’s autobiography

*DON’T WANT TO READ

*WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT??

The life (all 27 years of it!!) of Victoria Beckham (nee Adams), aka Posh Spice.

*WHY SHOULD IT BE AVOIDED???

If there is one book that I really have no desire to read, it is the memoirs of Ms Beckham. I am so unfussed by this book that I am not completely sure of the title, it has something to do with wings in it, if I am right?? This book has been quite a popular buy, especially around the Christmas period and three people I know have already ashamedly read it. Yet I just see it as another way for Victoria to over expose herself and I am most certainly not going to pay out to hear MORE about her. Primarily I am just not interested in her and her life, and secondly why should I pay out to read this book when most of us will have read it already in magazines like OK, which she seems to dominate weekly? I don’t care how the Spice Girls began, or about her school days, how she met David, how he proposed or how motherhood is treating her. Total waste of money and I will quite literally only be reading it when it is the last book on earth.

~~~2~~~
Wendy Holden - Bad Heir Day (or anything else she writes for that matter)

*WISH I HADN’T READ

*WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT???

This is another case of chick lit, a woman having thought she has met Mr Right, when in fact he turns out to be quite the opposite. The story follows the usual ups and downs of so called modern women, albeit they live in
Kensington!!

*WHY SHOULD IT BE AVOIDED???

Wendy Holden has written both “Bad Heir Day” and “Simply Divine”, and both were equally bad. Wendy Holden actually previously worked for Harpers and Queens, which should have been a good indication as to her preferred style and viewpoints on life. “Bad Heir Day” was described as, “a romp of a novel”, another very bad sign indeed. The books are all high-class trashy novels with characters called Cassandra and Allegra. It is high class chick lit, at its worst. The plots are ludicrous and characters even worse. I quite frankly wish I had spent my money on a few editions of “Horse and Hound” magazine. I would have definitely learnt more!

~~~3~~~
Geoff Ryman - 253

*WISH I HADN’T READ

*WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT???

The book itself was once an Internet book and this I believe worked a lot better. It features 253 pages, each containing a 253 description of a character travelling along on an underground train. It tells you of their physical appearance, their lives, thoughts and feelings.

*WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BOTHER??

If you have read my review on this one (plug plug), then you will already know of my feelings towards it. I feel that the idea is a lot better than the reality. 10 out of 10 for novelty, but 2 out of 10 overall.I found the whole book rather monotonous and dull and admit to not actually finishing it. I enjoy books that I can get my teeth into, and which make me want to turn each page. This however, never provided me with such a sense, it was very choppy and just when I was starting to get a feel for a person, I was on to the next person and next 253 words. The author obviously is good at creating characters, but the book was lacking something for me and I wish I hadn’t spent £6.99 on it.

~~~4~~~
Anything Mills and Boon


*DON’T WANT TO REA
D

In a way I do believe that you cannot criticise what you have not experienced, but I find it quite easy to say that I have never read a Mills and Boon novel and never hope to. Why? Do I really need to expand on that one? Ok, I shall admit I am a literary snob and Mills and Boon just doesn’t warrant taking up precious room on my book case. I don’t care to read about people pressing their groins up against each other, gyrating and all that malarkey!

~~~5~~~
George Elliott - Mill on the Floss/ Middlemarch (or anything else she wrote)

*WISH I’D NEVER READ

Once upon a time I sat the Oxford University Entrance exam and I chose George Elliott as my “specialist subject” in one of my English literature exams. It seemed like a good idea at the time, I was wrong. I had read “Silas Marner” during my GCSE’s and had got through it. I now found myself with the task of reading “Middlemarch” and “Mill on the Floss” as well. They all tell of complex family relationships and tragedy. They are all so tragic in fact that there is little pleasure to be gained from them. I spent the 6 months studying and reading them with a razor blade in my pencil case the whole time. These may be literary classics, but sadly they did nothing for me and I just couldn’t warm to her writing style. I’d rather read Mills and Boon in fact, and that is saying something!!!

~~~6~~~
Jenny Colgan’s “ Looking for Andrew McCarthy”

**WISH I’D NEVER READ

Some “real” friend recommended Jenny Colgan to me a while back. She had released two books already, which I had seen in the top ten lists of shops, “Amanda’s Weding” and “Talking to Addison”. Her third novel was the one which I chose to invest in though. I guess you could call this “chick lit”, I however have a few more other choice wo
rds to describe it!! “cr** lit” being my favourite descriptive term.

Why such a strong reaction you may ask! I was so excited prior to reading it, after all it had an 80’s screen god (well nearly!) in the title. I loved Andrew McCarthy and so thought any search for him would be good. The novel introduces us to Ellie, whose life basically falls apart and leads her to go off in search of her idol and see if the lifestyle that he inspired her to go in search of actually worked out for him. It sounded really interesting and with potential for hilarity. WRONG. The book claims to unravel some of life’s mysteries, the only mystery it unravelled for me is why I don’t buy this type of boom that often. The plot was thin, if you could go as far as to describe it as a plot at all. I was so bored and flicked the pages hoping for the pain to be over. The characters were one dimensional and I couldn’t give a damn about any of them. There were quite frankly no redeeming features to this book at all, apart from the fact it will make my local Oxfam shop some money when it gets resold to some poor soul. Eurgghhhhh. (Did you get the impression I didn’t enjoy that book??)

~~~7~~~
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

*WISH I’D NEVER READ

This features in the cult book section and I Imagine many of you will have spent time reading this, mainly due to it being sooooo controversial. I hold my hands up and say that was the main reason that I read it. Just in case you don’t know, the book is about a high flying New Yorker, who appears to successful and lucky on the outside, but just happens to be a serial killer in reality. He goes round killing all those who don’t fit into his idea of a decent society. In fact, he would even go as far as to kill someone for wearing the “wrong” outfit!!

For me, the book was somewhat confusing as I experienced a whole array of emotions. I
felt sickened at the graphicness of descriptions. I felt angry that a man like this could get away with such crimes, with little or no motive. I also felt fear at times when I knew something bad was going to happen. My overwhelming emotion was disgust though and I felt almost “dirty” the whole time I was reading it, like I had to put it down and forget about it in order to feel “clean” again. The only reason I really read on was because I had a desire to see justice done. I hated the way “American Psycho” made me feel and this is the main reason why I say I wish I hadn’t read it.

~~~8~~~
“Why women can’t read maps and men can’t listen” etc etc

*DON’T WANT TO READ

I read “Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus” and I found it of interest. It wasn’t sufficient to change my life though and I find it difficult to accept advice from someone who can’t get a relationship right himself. I am not sure of the author (mainly because of my disdain of the book through sight along!), but “Why women can’t read maps and men can’t listen” Does not appeal to me in the slightest. In fact I can think of few other books who appeal less. Yes, we know that men and women are different, that they think and act in different ways, the question is, do we really need another book to tell us all this? Definitely a case of cashing in on the unfortunate (or most of us who just can’t comprehend the opposite sex) and I’d rather learn from my own mistakes than go down this path and read such utter self help rubbish.

~~~9~~~
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding

*WISH I HADN’T READ

Those of you that know me may find this a strange choice in my top ten list of books I wish I hadn’t read or hope never to read. I am a BIG Bridget Jones fan and have about every associated p
iece of merchandise, the dvd, 2 soundtrack cd’s, the books and the mug, I love it and am very happy that Renee Zelweggar has agreed to do a sequel. However, I do wish that I had never spoiled things and read the sequel “The Edge of Reason”, it just wasn’t the same, It is a simple case of the sequel never being as good as the original. The book was totally far fetched ( and the first wasn’t I heard you all yell!!) and I found myself cringing instead of laughing at the situations Bridget got herself into. For example, I found Bridget getting arrested in Thailand for drug smuggling totally over the top. Especially when Mark Darcy managed to get her released from jail with the click of his fingers. It just didn’t work for me and wish Helen Fielding had left it where it was. I could carry on dreaming that Bridget and Mark live happily eve after.

~~~10~~~
A huge encyclopaedia of medical complaints - author unknown.

**WISH I HADN’T READ….

A while back I sat in my local library trying to diagnose my various ailments and I ended up reading the entire encyclopaedia. This means that I have an excellent grasp of all medical complaints. However, it also means that I have become a hypochondriac and fear I am dying all the time! This as you can imagine is not good and I think in this instance ignorance is bliss.

So many books are published each week, that there are bound to be a fair share of bad ones amongst them, in fact there are probably more bad than good. I have read a lot of really bad books and I thought that reading a list like this would be easy. However, I was wrong, as although I have not enjoyed a lot of books, I don’t think I would go as far as to say that I wish I hadn’t read them. I believe that you have to read bad books to appreciate the good and that is my friends is my final comment on the matter :O)

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