My top ten worst celeb list of those who rarely get a mention (Top Ten Worst Celebrities)

Member Name: jthecrab

Product:	Top Ten Worst Celebrities
Date:	16/07/09 (121 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Read this and you will find out which human form the devil has taken

Disadvantages: You will be reminded of some awful people.

Everybody seems to be putting the likes of Paris Hilton, Katy Price, Peter Andre, various Big Brother contestants etc etc in their top 10 worst celebs. Not that these people don't all deserve a slow and painful death but I'd like to offer a list of 10 names who get little or no mention in these lists and yet are fully deserving of derision. I will attempt to justify each choice with at least 1 example of their uselessness.

So, if I had a rifle and just 10 bullets and was prohibited from assassinating any of the usual suspects on people's top 10 worst celeb lists I would be looking to (in no particular order) end the miserable existences of the following glory hounds:


- DIANA ROSS. I've been waiting to get this off my chest for some time, 15 years to be exact. Oh yeah!! Old crabby doesn't forget!! I refer you to her penalty kick at the opening ceremony of the 1994 FIFA World Cup which was held in the U.S.A. It's like a tattooist took a needle and etched the image on my brain. I was a very young man at the time and it truly put a huge dent in psyche during my formative years. For those brave enough to see what I'm talking about I have provided the youtube address where you can see the very disturbing footage. You have been warned:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXjCKwBtG0I


- RONAN KEATING. He seems like a nice enough bloke but there is still something about him that irritates me. I almost couldn't put my finger on it but then I remembered the early appearance of Boyzone on some dodgy talk show. Ronan's version of the running man dance is one of the most brutal things that my eyes have ever been subjected to!! Is it more funny or more brutal? You decide:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E2T_WbA9AM


- BOB CAROLGEES. Listen Bob, I don't care how hard times are, you simply DO NOT sell Spit The Dog!!!! I used to idolise the big man Carolgees but Spit is a legend the likes of which we are unlikely to see again. You sold him down the river Bob and for what? Money?!?! Shame on you Bob!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/3777813. stm


- DAVID BADDIEL. Painfully unfunny man who got lucky enough to pair up firstly with the extremely talented and highly under rated Rob Newman, with whom he enjoyed success as both a double act and as a four man act with Punt and Dennis on The Mary Whitehouse Experience. Then, as if that wasn't jammy enough he landed several sweet gigs with perennial favourite Frank Skinner. Skinner's back must be in terrible shape after carrying Baddiel year after year. He is a prime example of someone who you see on tv and be really frustrated with because you know you are infinitely funnier than him. Pah!!


- JONATHON ROSS. I could have sworn he used to be funny. His whole routine is now just camp innuendo. He is now about as funny as finding out your nan once had a house call from Dr Harold Shipman. As for his presenting of the BBC Film programme (Film 2009 at the date of me typing this), to say it leaves a lot to be desired is an understatement. The BBC already have an ace film critic working for 5 Live in the form of the much maligned genius that is Mark Kermode who could do the Film programme standing on his head.


- THE BLOKE WHO EGGED JOHN PRESCOTT. Ok so not exactly a celeb I know but boy he got exactly what he deserved LOL!!!! Oh it's easy to lambast Prescott and call him this and that, but I ask you this - what would you have done? This guy was right up in his face. For anyone who disagrees I will also add that this happened in the year 2001 and therefore this guy had no business having a mullet that looked like it had crawled off Pat Sharp's head back in 1989, died, spent 2 years decomposing and then finally found a new home on Mr Egg Man's head.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XTiI1e-wVc


- LORRAINE KELLY. This one was borderline for me as Lorraine is actually quite inoffensive. My reason for affording her the luxury of one of my rifle bullets is because she apparently never dislikes anything on her show. You're allowed to have an opinion Lorraine!! Everything is "fabulous"?!?! No it's not Lorraine!! It's really not!!


- STEVE MCDONALD FROM CORONATION ST. Oh dear lord!! Have you ever had the displeasure of sitting down to eat your dinner when Corrie is on and this buffoon is on-screen? He's like some kind of big gurning toad. The faces he pulls!! It's enough to put you right off your lasagne.

tvblips.dailyradar.com/story/steve_mcdonald_gurn_ of_the_week_july_16_2009/


- CHRIS DE BURGH. The man is satan!! I keep telling everyone that the dark lord is amongst us and singing Lady In Red to lusty pensioners at venues nationwide. I'm telling you, one day he will rip off his disguise and reveal himself to be the horned beast himself. Mark my words!! Oh, and he also had an affair with his kid's teenage nanny while his wife was in hospital with a broken neck. This makes him an ideal candidate for one of my bullets, although I hope it doesn't cause him to shed his skin and give me the Beelzebub beatdown.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6045550.stm


- WOLF FROM GLADIATORS. Dude, you are 94 years old, let it go!!


I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I hope it has made a change from the usual kind of top 10 worst celeb lists. Remember though people, Chris De Burgh is out there somewhere, he's very very real and he might be under your bed. Once again, you've been warned!!

Summary: An alternative and irreverent look at famous people who all suck in one way or other