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TV adverts in general

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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

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      14.12.2009 00:39
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      a necessary evil in society, however not very pleasant

      I am a great fan of surveys, some of you may or may not know this, but it's true, and often in the course of my hobby of survey-taking, I do have to watch TV adverts. I may say this is the ONLY time I volunteer to watch adverts on TV. The ONLY time. I do not like adverts on principle. They stink. They are appalling, intrusive and often very offensive. They never seem to say what they mean and they often demean anyone involved in them. The fact that they work is neither here nor there, who cares, really?! I feel that adverts in the seventies had some verve and pep - who remembers Finger of Fudge? Who remembers Frito Banditos? I do. I used to enjoy them then, when the world was a better place and people were happier and had more going for them in terms of freedom of choice, no hardships and no economic crises.

      I do not understand first of all, why the programmes are at a different sound level to the adverts. Can you tell me why if I am in another room, I know instantly when the adverts are on because they scream at me so loudly? The volume seems to be twice that in the adverts to that in the programmes, no doubt in case you miss something important - the point being that the adverts really are considered to be more important than the programs, after all, why is it that the TV programmes exist? To be sponsored by companies, who churn out adverts, who pay for their existence, its like a vicious circle.

      You can never escape adverts, you can only be very very close to your volume control when they come on, then you might be lucky and not be blasted into oblivion by the next set of adverts!

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        11.12.2009 01:40
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        Over kill of product pushing

        I, and it seems like many others, don't like TV adverts. I have just sat down to watch something on TV and less then ten minutes in there's adverts and then the programme finishes with nearly ten minutes to go until the next programme starts for, you've guessed it, more adverts.

        Most of the time when adverts come on I either use that time to run upstairs for the toilet, skip into the kitchen to make a brew, read or if I've recorded it I just fast forward straight through them.

        As most people ignore adverts why do companies insist on reaching to us through a medium that is mostly ignored and it could be argued outdated? The companies have already got us as we can't walk down the street without seeing adverts, so why inflict us with more? Personally, I find that over kill makes me even less likely to use or buy a product.

        I don't think that adverts will disappear as long as TV is still here, and I certainly don't want TV to go.

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          30.07.2008 16:42
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          Less fun than cancer.

          God how I hate tv ads! ! ! Seriously! ! ! I can't stand the damn things. Ok, so they give you time to get up and make a cup of tea, but really that's all they're good for. And these days it seems like they're even longer than it takes to make a cuppa! Now that's ridiculous.

          When you think about how much product placement goes on in shows anyway ( oh yes, it happens in everything from the top end productions like Sex and the City through to reality shows like the Next Top Model series ) - we really shouldn't be forced to sit through another 20 minutes of ads per hour, or whatever the stats are.

          I have a friend who finds the ads really interesting. I think she's crazy. But then she only likes them from a design point of view (she's a design nerd). I think they're a scourge on society and only serve to increase the already out of control consumerism that is a cancer in our world today.

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            30.07.2008 16:37
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            I think TV would be better without adverts but then it would cost us even more in licence fees

            I can count on three fingers the number of adverts that have appealed to me over the last few years. I find most of them extremely annoying and far too loud; thank goodness for the remote control and its 'mute' button. I also think a lot of them these days make men out to be stupid and I would find that insulting if I was a man.

            One of my three favourites is the recent Cadbury's Dairy Milk Chocolate advert with the gorilla (alright, the man dressed up as a gorilla) playing the drums to Phil Collins' 'In the Air Tonight' and completely losing himself in the music and the moment. People have questioned what the link is between the gorilla and the chocolate - there isn't one but I don't care; I think it is a wonderful advert and was not screened often enough in my opinion.

            My second favourite is the very recent Aero advert with the extremely delicious-looking bloke extolling the virtues of the almost-as-delicious Aero chocolate that the advert was supposed to be about. This production was tastefully done and quite mind-blowing in its choice of model. Very nice, very very nice.

            My third and last but not least favourite is the campaign that was run a few years ago now for Hugo Boss aftershave and depicted the back view of a very handsome gorgeously-constructed naked male model running down a corridor kicking a football. At the last minute he turns to face the camera (just his head, of course - it's very tasteful!) and then the shot moves to the aftershave in question. Another very nice advert.

            That's about it, really. If I was to list the ones I really dislike I'd be typing for about three years so I won't.

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              26.11.2004 21:45
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              This review is about an advert that I have seen on television and have wanted to pass comment about. I hope that this is in the correct category, after all it is the section for television adverts in general.


              Cream currently have a television advert doing the rounds, promoting their new compilation release, Cream Classics. It is their latest in a long line of popular compilations that they have put together and released. This album is said to contain, 'The biggest Cream tracks ever'. There are a total of 50 floorfilling tracks, spread accross a total of three discs. Cream is one of the best known and loved club brands in the world and has now been running for 12 years. They have definetly established themselves and Cream does now have a huge following in the UK, Europe and in other parts of the globe. I love this sort of music and I have got the album itslef which I may review at a later date.


              I have seen the advert broadcast on a wide range of television channels, but it has been mainly on Channel 4 and some of the music channels on Sky and Freeview. The advert does vary in length, depending on the channel and the time of day that it is broadcast. It tends to be much shorter in length when on terrestrial television and also when it is shown during the day. This is most probably due to the costs that television companies charge.


              The longer adverts are quite long and they do go into a lot of detail, going through most of the tracks. They play a little clip from some of the bigger tracks on the album and talk a little about the whole history surrounding Cream. The commentator really does try to sell the product by giving some enthusiastic thoughts on the tracks and the album. In the shorter adverts they tend to feature a couple of tracks in a little more detail but they are only a few seconds long. I don't think that the longer adverts are all that necessary because the shorter ones do make you fully aware of the product and what it includes and most people will be able to make a decision whether to buy it based on that.


              The actual on screen shots whilst the advert is in progress, are of people dancing in the background. They are out of focus and so in the foreground, the names of some of the highlight tracks appear on the screen in white text. The general colour scheme going on throughout the advert is a sunflower yellow. This gives the advert a somewhat 'summery' feeling which is good given the weather we have been having of late. The advert is pretty good overall and it certainly made me look up and take notice. I probably would have bought the album, if I hadn't seen the advert but it wouldn't have known that it was available. I think the advert will appeal to a lot of buyers.


              For those of you who are not familiar with Cream and the type of music that it entails, this may help. There are a couple of more main stream tunes like, Moloko - Sing it Back and M People - How Can I Love You More. This is the sort of track that you can expect to find on this compilation or one that is similar. This is very much a party album that a lot of people would probably enjoy. There aren't any hard house or trance tunes so this should appeal to the wider music listening audience. You can visit www.cream.co.uk for some more details about the whole Cream dynasty and there are some other interesting bits and pieces to be found on the website.



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                26.05.2004 06:19
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                TV adverts are the bane of many people's lives. For some reason, people absolutely hate them. They feel they are intrusive, ineffective, loud and annoying. And sometimes, they're right, advertd can be all of those things. But when they're done right, they're exactly the opposite and a joy to watch. As a person who studied marketing at university and who desperately wants to start a career in it, I find adverts very interesting. Now obviously there is more to marketing than advertsising, but it is often the most visible or perhaps memorable part of the process, at least for the consumer. But what are adverts for, and do they actually do their job? Without annoying the crap out of you? Companies have many reasons for wanting to advertise on TV. Sometimes it might be recognition, they just want to be seen and heard. So they advertise for conservatory blinds at 3pm on a sattelite channel. These adverts are often bad, they'll have a stiff actor reading the lines and the advert doesn't get much of a message across. These, I admit, are annoying. But then there's the multinational corporations; Honda, McDonald's, Vodafone, Sony. And these companies are already known to the consumer and they may just be advertising so people remember them or if they have some new product to promote. Now here is an area I don't like about TV advertising; when a company simply advertises itself. Why? Why should a company like Sony suddenly need to remind us they exist? I understand that the consumer is fickle and has a short memory, but I would use that time to target specific products, or promote their company name through sponsorship. Even the extremely innovative Honda adverts that have been running recently still manage to advertise specific cars, and the technology that those cars possess. So the aims can be to tell people you exist, remind people you exist, or advertise specific products or events. Advertis
                ing a company is where adverts can become quite creative, and sometimes even interesting, but advertising products can be a lot more tricky. The advert has to get across certain benefits of a product clearly and explicitly, as well as usually a price and a comparison to competitors. And how they do this is the thing I love about marketing, and advertising. The fact that lots of people don't think TV adverts have any effect on them always interest me, because these are often the same people that tell me they don't have a money weakness. Everyone has a money weakness, and the beauty of it for the companies involved is that people either don't realise it, or don't even want to. People do not like feeling as if they are being manipulated by anyone, let alone faceless corporations. I have a weakness for computer games and gadgets. If I see an advert for a computer game, I will register it. Not completely consciously, but I will remember the next time I am in a games shop (not hard, I work in one). Similarly, if you have a weakness for wine, the next time you are in a position to buy wine, chances are you will at least look at or consider a brand advertised on TV. The beauty of the TV advert is it is so unconscious people don;t even know it's working. If I wanted to buy a sofa, I would at least visit a DFS, because I've seen them on the TV and I remember something about free credit. So are they really doing their job? Is everyone else more strong-minded than me and resists this? Well the fact is, a lot of the time we are not affected by TV adverts directly because they may not be targeted at us or we are simply not in the market for what is being shown. But while you are not, there are thousands of people around the country who are watching the same ad and are in the market, and are interested. We remember the times it didn't work, but we forget the times it did because we only remember the product. So I think it is eff
                ective - when it's done right. It's very easy to produce crap adverts that actually perform the opposite to their brief and put people off the product/company. we all have adverts we hate, and often we hate them with a passion. But then again, is that the point? Are they creating a reaction because any kind of reaction is better than no-one talking about it? We don't have the answers to these questions, but I do know this. Advertising slots in popular television programmes do not cost hundreds of thousands of pounds by being inneffective. As a professional interest, I guess I do study adverts more than most, and every month I find another advert that impresses me. I like the details - like the fact that an advert should always get it's message across on the screen written down, as it takes more brain power and we are more likely to remember things we read rather than things we hear. We all know that adverts are played louder than the programme that it buffers, but also that when you put subtitles on for TV programmes, it is close but not exactly what is said by the characters. For TV adverts, their subtitles are exactly, word-for-word, what is said in the advert. And I love that this shows these words are carefully thought-out to get the message across exaclty as they want us to hear it. This attention to detail endears me to the industry more, and makes me realise we are a bunch of gullible, impressionable suckers after all. :)

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                  13.05.2003 02:08
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                  So, I was out the other day (I do go out sometimes) and I spotted one of those huge unattractive billboards advertising BBC Bitesize. It read, "BBC Bitesize nails revision". I was puzzled. Why would anyone need to revise nails? Hmmm. Anyway, this got me pondering (I do like to ponder) about adverts in general. I seem to waste inordinate amounts of time watching adverts on television. Mr delawney likes to channel hop during the adverts, and this annoys the pants off me as it often leads to missing the beginning of the next part of the programme. So me, I just sit through them like a muppet. You see, I think I must be totally oblivious to advertising. I really cannot think of any occasion when I have thought, "yes, I must go out and buy that" because I've seen an advertisement for it. And I've been racking my brain extremely hard (I don't recommend it, it's painful) to think of an occasion where I might have been encouraged subliminally to buy a particular product, and I honestly could not think of one. Most of what I buy isn't advertised on the telly anyway, since it's all weird "green" or vegan stuff. So what purpose do they serve? Are there really people out there who fall for that rubbish? (Apologies to anyone I've just inadvertently offended with that remark - ha, in-advert-ently!). I guess there must be else companies wouldn't spend millions of pounds peddling their goods on the box. Of course, some of the adverts are better than the programmes. I did enjoy the recent re-run of the "100 Greatest Adverts", especially the Smash one. But just because the advert is good, doesn't mean the product will be. Besides, half the time I can't even remember what the advert was for, and this goes double when it's a good one. And what is the current obsession with showing children on the loo? Excuse me? I can't think of anything worse t
                  han being filmed on the throne. I don't want to see anybody on the toilet, no matter what age they are. Especially when I'm eating my tea. And it seems we just can't get away from the adverts anymore. Slowly but surely they have started to invade not just the gaps in-between the programmes, but the programmes themselves, with all this blooming sponsorship stuff. Who wants to think about All Bran when they're watching Countdown? After all, you're already watching something tasteless. [Aside - I did enjoy the Skittles Sours (vegan) sponsorship of Buffy on Sky though - very witty.] It seems to me that adverts fall into several different categories, each of which can be given an annoying rating. Here's a small selection of my particular pet hates. 1. Being Blinded With Science (Annoying Rating = High) Cosmetics adverts are brilliant for this. What is a liposome when it's at home? And is an active liposome more fit than an inactive one? "New supercream full of mono-di-glyceride-heffalumps with smoothing effervescent saturate-chloride-liposomes for cleaner, fresher looking skin". Note the emphasis on the "looking" - crafty bar-stewards... Then they go and make up words. Top of delawney's annoying list at the present time is "mattifying". "Mattifying" is not even a word. Now I have annoying red lines all over my screen where the spellchecker doesn't recognise it. So take your "mattifying technology" and stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Of course, you also get it for cleaning products, especially the washing powders and the like, with their latest "stain removing technology". I just switch off (metaphorically speaking). I can't bear it. And tampons with lubrication - ew... Don't even go there. 2. Celebrity Endorsement (Annoying Rating = High) Who is John Stalker? Y
                  ou know, he's the bloke that advertises Nationwide Sun Awnings with his dog (see 3. below). I assume we are supposed to know who he is since his name flashes up on the screen. I haven't got a clue. OK, you can kind of forgive Thora Hird advertising the Relax Chair thingumy, but if I see Carol Vorderman on an advert one more time I will scream. Just because she's good at mental arithmetic doesn't give her the right to try and flog me some dodgy life insurance policy plan. As for the "quote me happy" one, (I can't remember what it's for or who the celebrity is, I was that convinced), purr-lease... And I'm not even going to mention Jamie Oliver (oops, just did). 3. The Cute Animal Sell (Annoying Rating = Medium) Now, I don't mind cute animals. Especially when they're cats. So when they're advertising cat food, or dog food, or whatever, I guess that's kind of OK. But for years I've been wondering what a puppy has to do with toilet paper. Are you going to go and wipe your bum on a dog? I think not. And if they're trying to say that their paper is as soft as a puppy, well, yuk. Besides, in my experience, puppies are not always soft. [Aside - I have a particular pet hate about that Andrex advert where the puppy replaces himself with a loo roll as he doesn't like being stroked to hard. Notice how gently the man in question strokes the loo roll?] 4. Make Mum and Dad Buy This (Annoying Rating = High) You know the ones, aimed directly at children to encourage them to employ the pester factor. Criminal. 'Nuff said. 5. Buy the Lifestyle (Annoying Rating = Medium) The ones that try and convince you that if you buy the product you'll get a lifestyle like the person in the advert. How not convincing is that? Some of them are particularly dubious lifestyles anyway. So I guess there's no love lost between me
                  and adverts. Still, I do appreciate that it is the adverts on the telly that pay for most of my favourite programmes, so I shouldn't complain. (Not that that ever stopped me mind...). Still, at least it seems that advertisers are generally putting more thoughts into the commercials, and yes, some of them are better that the programmes... ... so on that note, I'm off to watch some! *** A Final Thought *** All this thinking about adverts brought another pet hate of mine to mind - the renaming of longstanding brands (presumably) in line with our European counterparts. You know, like renaming Immac "Veet" and Opal Fruits "Starbursts". Why is there a tendency to give them new names sounding like venereal diseases? Like "Cif". Certainly doesn't make me want to run out and buy it. "Cor, I must get myself some Cif" really doesn't have a ring to it does it? To me, a Marathon will always be a Marathon, Opal Fruits will always be Opal Fruits (and they're vegan you know), and Jif will always be Jif. And Mr delawney will continue to threaten to Immac the cats.

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                    11.06.2002 18:31
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                    This is my first top ten so please bear with me. As the World Cup is upon us and like the rest of the country I have been watching as much as possible on television, I decided to do my top ten adverts with a football theme or connection. There are so many good ones at the moment that I have forsaken my usual BBC to watch the matches on my native lands second channel Network 2. I hope you enjoy the ten that I have picked although some may not be available in the UK as they have a particular Irish theme. I have listed them in order of my preference from the very best at 1 to the 'worth a mention' at 10. 1:Carlsberg: Jason McAteer. This one is probably only shown in Ireland as it would be a bit useless in any other country. We are shown scenes from various pubs around the country as punters gather to watch the World Cup. People gather in hope around television sets as the various games are commented on. They show footage from the qualifying campaign but neatly change the opposition to reflect what we would face at the competition itself. News reports tell of the elation around the country as we progress to the final. We see people dancing in the streets after games and deserted streets during games. Ireland are playing Brazil in the final and it is nil nil with only minutes on the clock. Jason McAteer slams the ball into the Brazilian net and we have won the World Cup! Cut to scenes of jubilation around Ireland. Newspaper headlines are splashed across the screen and we see McAteer on the team bus singing and dancing with the rest of the players. What is that buzzing in the background? A new scene unfolds, a bedroom with an alarm clock buzzing and McAteer sleeping peacefully with a huge smile on his face. The tag line is “Carlsberg doesn’t do dreams but if they did they’d be the best dreams in the world”. The whole thing is a work of art. The soundtrack relives th
                    e tension providing an antidote to the manic action on screen. The football scenes are so well done that you really believe it is happening. The final goal is actually the one McAteer scored against Holland. We know that we can never really do it but who would deny us our dreams? Certainly not Carlsberg. 2:MasterCard Balls. As one of the main sponsors of the World Cup MasterCard have come up with the most entertaining series of adverts. They feature the two balls that make up the company logo. In Ireland the two foam balls are football fans and we follow their spectatorship of the competition. They are very crude puppets with a slash across the middle, which dissects them and forms a mouth by which means they impart their gems of wisdom. We see them in two main settings, for the early morning games they are at home in their house sitting on the sofa watching television. For the later games and the highlights programme they have moved to the local pub and are installed on high stools at the bar. There are a number of set adverts and also topical ones, which change as the competition progresses. The two guys just talk to each other and it is the typical commentary that you would pick up in any bar around the country. The red ball is the more knowledgeable and ironic fan while the yellow one is excitable and prone to emotional swings in mood. The interplay and banter between the two is hilarious and they are now so popular that some of my friends are recording all the games to ensure that they don’t miss any of the gags. The attention to detail is excellent, in the early morning adverts you can see the breakfast dishes on the coffee table in front of them and the hat that Yellow wears in some adverts has badges from Irish campaigns of the past. An example of some of some of their fare would go like this: Red: ‘I knew Terry Phelan’ (Irish player from Charlton era) Yello
                    w: ‘Ya did, ya did’ Red: ‘I played with Terry Phelan’ Yellow: ‘Ya did, ya did’ Red: ‘And I can tell you now, he’s no Terry Phelan!’ Yellow: ‘They’ll be dancing in the streets of Ngaoundere tonight if Cameroon beat the Germans’. Red: ‘You’ve been at that atlas again’ 3:Pepsi: Roberto Carlos. A young Asian boy asks Roberto Carlos for an autograph. He duly obliges and is given a drink of Pepsi as a reward. As they part the boy bows and Roberto Carlos returns the gesture. Cut to a football scene where Roberto Carlos is fouled and steps up to take the free kick. As he faces the wall he realises that he is playing against an Asian team. He remembers the young boy and politely bows to his opponents. As they return the gesture he kicks the ball over them and into the back of the net. The last shot is of the goalkeeper, still bowing he glances around at the ball and smiles ruefully. Absolutely excellent. The marriage of deadly dead ball specialist and Asian culture adds up to an excellent piece of creative advertising. I love this one, as the look on the goalies face at the end is a gem. 4:Nike: The Cage/The Rematch Eric Cantona. This one made the Elvis tune “A little less conversation” popular again. The world’s top football talent is brought together to play off in a competition where there is one rule. First goal wins. They battle it out inside a cage on board a giant ship. We watch as our heroes fall by the wayside until only two teams are left. The ball is inserted and they have a surprise method of scoring that first goal. The losers are cast out into the ocean. In the rematch the two finalists are reunited on board ship but this time without the cage. Two goals are painted on the hull and the players are told that there is a new rule. First to 100 goals wins.
                    Cantona again provides the commentary but as the winning goal is scored another surprise is in store and everyone takes the same route home. There are two things about these adverts that make them so popular. The catchy tune is excellent and you find yourself humming it all day. The other thing is the action and commentary mix. The skills on show are silky but the commentary by Cantona is a jewel. His manic master of ceremonies is executed so well. In the longer version of the rematch he loses control and starts chanting ‘Henry’s on fire’. You have to see the look on Henry’s face! The adverts have led to a computer game where you play out the tournament for yourself. 5:Champion Sport. Another Irish advert for a sport shop chain. We are again in a pub where a rather large barman is pulling a pint. You soon realise that he is not wearing a shirt, as the camera pans out to reveal more of the bar you realise that all the men in the bar are also bare-chested. A young lady walks across the bar and she is also sans top. Everyone is engrossed in a football match, which is being shown on the television. Another scene of a group of friends gathered around the television at home. Again they are not wearing any shirts. Another group are outside of a shop looking at the game through the window. The team on the screen score and the crowd go wild. They are singing and dancing, jumping up and down. All of the ladies have their breasts crudely fuzzed out in the manner of those interviews with dodgy plumbers and builders who cannot be shown on screen as they are subject to litigation. The only exception is the large barman who is also dancing and really should have been blurred out! The advert cuts to the television screen and we see the team celebrating their victory. They are also without jerseys. The tag line reads ‘We have all the shirts’. 6:KitKat Chunky. A
                    cartoon like advert where the Chunky bar has taken to the football field. There are two different adverts that I have seen; in the first the Chunky team are on the field when another bar races across the pitch without a wrapper. The commentary declares that there is a streaker on the pitch! The second advert shows a Chunky bar displaying silky bar skills in the centre circle. The commentary praises the skill of the South American. The bar tosses the ball high in the air then slips and falls with the ball catching it painfully in the midriff. The commentator is shocked that the player has gone too far and the admiration turns to distain for the show off. 7:LifeStyle Sports. Not sure if this one is Ireland only but again it is for a chain of sports shops. A girl and boy are playing keepie uppie in the living room of their house. The competition is fierce and eventually the boy drops the ball. The girl laughs and nods her head towards him affirming that he has lost and must pay the penalty. As the camera zooms out we see that she is only wearing her bra on top with her shirt lying on the floor. The guy has lost all of his clothes down to his pants. With an embarrassed movement he pulls down his pants and quickly grabs the ball placing it over his naughty bits and stands there in his shame. The implication is that it was his idea to play the game but she has shown him that girls are not only into football but darn good at it as well. 8:Fiat Stilo: Totti. We see Totti playing football on his own in his garden. He is commenting on the play and marvelling as he beats first one player then another. He skins Emile Heskey and races the length of the pitch before drilling the ball into the net. Totti celebrates wildly. He then jumps into his Stilo and drives off. The tag line states that the Stilo is an imaginative car for imaginative people. We see and email on the screen in the car which
                    says ‘You were miles offside’ Emile Heskey. Very funny advert, the whole idea of a superstar like Totti playing like a schoolboy in his garden is very original. They manage to get you interested in the car as well. As the advert ends you find yourself wondering how the Stilo can receive email? 9:CocaCola Fans. This one asks the question ‘If there was a World Cup for fans, would you be in it?’ It goes on to show fans from all around the world as they prepare for, travel to and attend football games. It is so colourful and just gets the mood of the football supporter exactly right. It brings across a truism in that it doesn’t matter whether you are approaching the San Siro or the Showgrounds (Sligo Rovers home ground) the sensation is the same. Expectation that your team will win and hope that this season will bring triumph once again. 10:McDonalds: Teddy Sheringham. We see Teddy buy a car and the garage man explain to him that it is all in order. As Teddy drives off the garage owner has an evil smile on his face. He has a game card from McD’s, which will win if Argentina wins the World Cup. Meanwhile Teddy approaches a corner only to find that his brakes aren’t working! In the second advert Teddy is back but heavily bandages after his crash. We watch as he tries to eat his burger but can’t reach his mouth, as his cast won’t allow it. The commentary explains that you can win a food prize by picking up a yellow card in the promotion. I just found both adverts very funny. Thank you for reading. ©MurphEE 2002

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                      02.02.2002 20:23
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                      Pepsi or Coke? Ariel or Persil? Daddy or Chips? Adverts help us make life-changing decisions every day. After all, I hadn't lived until I'd tried Campino. Still, they are a staple part of non-BBC TV. For every 13 minutes of real TV, we get about 3 minutes of ads. Some we love. Some we hate. Some we are indifferent to. The first ad was shown in the 1950's for Gibbs toothpaste. Rather scarily involving a block of ice ("Clean your teeth children, or else you will FREEZE just like little Timmy", it may as well have said), it was a benchmark in defining TV as we know it today. Since then, ads have been more commonplace in life generally. Even now, though, TV ads remain the most prominent, influential and expensive. There are some ads which are timeless and good (The Guardian's 'all sides to the story' black and white ad being my personal favourite). However the current crop of ads seem all too safe and smug. Here is my top 10 hitlist of ads that peturb me… 10 - McCain Oven Chips : Daddy or Chips This is the ad where two girls are arguing over whether Daddy or chips is better. Obviously, in her naivety, she chooses chips. However, I'd like to name any form of frozen junk food that will drag themselves out of bed to watch her play shepherd number two in a crummy kids nativity play, or any type of reprocessed potato that will drive her to school every morning. She'll be sorry one day… 9 - Nat West : Trendy Wine Bar Old lady (hereafter, Trendy Wine Bar woman) goes all around town looking for banks. She finds that they have all been converted into beverage parlours, where drinking and debauchery happen in public view (is she certain it isn't Nat West?). Having presumably gone to several different banks, one can assume she is some kind of small-time fraudster, as she should only have accounts with one branch. Anyhow, she is pleasantly surprise
                      d to learn that Nat West isn't shut. This is despite the fact that the advert is set in the dark, and all Nat West's I know are only open until 4.30pm. Is she hallucinating or just being lied to? Anyhow, we are informed by her at the end that 'there is another way' - yeah, like going to the trendy wine bar and getting sozzled… 8 - Maybelline : Maybe Born With It… Make-up for those who aren’t born with 'it'. But what is 'it'? Is 'it' a full entourage of lighting men who can make the most pitted and dry skin look like you've just stepped out of a plastic surgeon? Is 'it' the gift of rollerblading, smiling, talking on a mobile phone and solving the world debt crisis before breakfast? Is 'it' a possee of model friends? Or is 'it' a sense of gullibility that you WILL look like that by putting a bit of lippy on. 7 - Fibogel : The Fibogel Family There are certain things which are taboo in general family conversation. Certain bodily functions should not really be discussed so flippantly as the Fibogel family do. The ad consists of a 20 second conversation when a pregnant daughter and mother have a misunderstanding about orange juice and a remedy for constipation. Far from being embarrassed that her bowels don’t work properly, Mrs Fibogel shares the secret of the putrid looking drink, before the daughter pipes up "we might as well call ourselves the Fibogel family!". OK love, you do that, and everyone else will carry on drinking Sunny D to keep ourselves regular… 6 - Churchill Beds : Thora Hird There aren't all that many products which are aimed at the over 60's. Some of these include incontinence pants (maybe Mrs Fibogel knows something about that…), Daniel O'Donnell and Churchill Beds. Thora Hird, demonstrates the adjustable bed, looking slightly peturbed as it looks for one moment
                      as if it will be pensioner sandwich all round. Note how the makers have tried to sell the brand name to appeal to the War generation ("A name you can trust" says Thora). You kind of half expect 'We'll Meet Again' to start playing in the background. Hopefully Thora was given a bed as payment, and that she will, at last, be able to find that cream cracker she lost all those years ago… 5 - Snack A Jacks : Office Women on Diets Mmm… salt and vinegar rice cakes. That's up there with chicken marinated in asbestos as a marketing man's nightmare. How do they get people to buy it? Of course! Set up a realistic environment, say witty banter within an office, and get two women to joke about how desirable the ming-cakes are. Erm, in the offices I've worked in, they're more likely to go to the chocolate machine, bitch about the number of calories in a bar of Galaxy and spread malicious gossip about 'Alison'. Next! 4 - Tesco : Every Little Helps Perhaps the most annoying series of adverts. Bubble from Ab Fab and Mrs Basil Fawlty get themselves into various supermarket related pickles every few months, and a whole nation holds its breath hoping that one day they'll get a nasty dose of botchulism and eat no more. It's not just the terrible scenarios (and the lack of pushchairs, trolley rage and empty shelves in the ads in comparison to real life), but the cack jingle that plays out at the end of every ad. Grrr…. 3 - Argos : Whatever You Want There is a time and place for Status Quo. However, repetitive musical backing of a quickfire assortment of images from a pile-it-high-sell-it-cheap catalogue company is not one of them. As if Christmas ads aren't bad enough ("Buy it for a loved one. Go on. Buy it on credit. Go on. They'll love you more. Just a little something. Go on.), Argos make pre-Christmas TV even more unwatchable.
                      An aural nightmare… 2 - NCDL : Sponsor a Dog The National Canine Defence League have started advertising. The gist is that some dogs (posed by actors) are abandoned, and because they're too distressed to be adopted, and it's morally wrong to sell them to Korean takeaways, they plead with us to sponsor them. If you give them money, the dogs will send you letters about their lives ("Quite fancy the pekinese with Rabies, but not sure whether to make the first move", perhaps?) and also Christmas and Valentine's cards, despite this bordering on illegal and improper relations. I wonder if there are some sick puppies out there who really do sponsor, er, sick puppies… 1 - Sainsbury's : The Jamie Oliver saga. Devotees to my ops will realise that I have issues with Mr Oliver, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself. Sainsubury's once made ads with celebrities declaring their favourite recipes, like Catherine Zeta Jones and Joanna Lumley. However, a few years ago, they brought in cheeky mockney Oliver to do their adverts. So far we've had the hangover after New Year's Day with trendy mates ("Great party Jamie!", "Who the hell are you?"). We've also had him doing the babysitting, advertising the Blue Parrot range, which makes food for kids 'fun' by making it smaller, a contradiction in terms if ever I saw one. However, the recent one takes the garribaldi, by having him lie to Jules about going out to Sainsbury's for something, when instead he's going around to his mother's for a high-fat curry (Jules disapproves of non-low fat food, because he's becoming a bit of a porker, allegedly). We eventually realise that Mrs Oliver senior IS cooking with low-fat food, but it's so tasty, he doesn't know the difference!! It's all a conspiracy against Jamie!! Oh how funny and amusing!! We didn't see that coming a mile off!! Han
                      g you're head in shame Sainsbury's! Bring back Delia Smith! Ta muchly for reading - what ads do you all hate?!

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                        01.02.2002 21:25
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                        I have no idea why they are not advertised on TV.But with the news that Jamie Oliver shops at Safeway’s. The Oxo mum throws certain condiments out of the window and Garth Hunt never allowed the Maxwell in the house. Heres some erroneous adverts that really grate. Apart from the British Gas pop up on dooyoo that leaves you hammering at the mouse like a machine gun to get your passwords in. Heres ten more that annoy the hell out of me. 1) HALIFAX………Ads are there to be inconsequential and to the point taking us away from reality.Seeing actual Halifax staff singing and dancing on TV is just too much.The black guy sounds like a musical instrument being strangled and tubby cashiers are never sexy at the best of times. Where’s the queues at lunchtime in the last remaining branch for forty miles. How about the guy who brings a hundred quid in coppers in loose change…Awful patronizing crap. Twenty times more interest on your unauthorized overdraught more like. 2) A SHINY CAR AD……I don’t know what this ad is for but it’s the one where the guy is lecturing his very attractive girlfriend, who really could do better, in that nauseating brummy ascent. I presume its car ad and that she’s an independent gal putting up with her man just to drive his car. If ever their was a time for a fuel blockade to stop this loser getting petrol now is that time. Why do English girls marry beneath them!. 3) MINISTRY OF SOUND CDs………..Why do these dance music ads only show stunning super slim babes that have been dancing all night in their bikinis. Now the last time I was anywhere near that hideous music scene in Spain they all looked like they had just fell out of a single teen mum’s convention and won the first prize for wearing the most tacky jewelry. Where are the piles of puke and football shirts. Where are the Union Jack flags draped over the balcony
                        and the policemen holding them in a headlock. 4) LOMBARD DIRECT LOANS..……Its the one where the two housewives are sitting around in their 20 grand kitchen worrying about their debts.The other one tells here to get a big loan to cover all her smaller ones and she will have a little left over.She then goes out and buys a four wheel drive Vitara with the loose change..No wonder shes in the crap. Did you know Americans owe themselves three trillion dollars because of this debt culture!. 5) FORD FOCUS……..That one that is on ever 15 minutes where the arrogant guy says”oh and you are going to marry me”. Then she writes no in the snow with her spunky independent girl car. Correct me if im wrong but didn’t she go out with him because he’s an arrogant git. I would like to see her say that in five years time with crow’s feet and three grand on the credit card. 6) MOBILE PHONE…….I think its a Vodaphone one where it stipulates that if you a have shiny top of the range chrome mobile you will get of with girls.The only top of the range metallic material possession that gets an English girl going is that Ford car. In my experience the posers in pubs and clubs always flashing their handsets are the ones that don’t have partners. Making hideous calls in noisy pubs or pretending to be scanning the latest messages coming in every ten seconds is a touch sad. The reason your mates haven’t arrived yet is they are with their girlfriends!. 7) MAZDA PREMAZE ZOOM ZOOM MP 3 PLAYER CAR………Know the last time I was on the road there weren’t any desserts to zoom zoom in with no speed cameras around.There definitely ain’t a convertible around that keeps your hair in place at zoom zoom speed like that lucky girl in the ad. These ads that are made in other countries for other telly audiences can be very unrel
                        ated to our demographics. 8) KELLOGS SPECIAL K………..Why is that anyone who has a cereal breakfast on TV always lives near a pristine blue ocean in a luxurious beachfront house. F**k if I had a pad like that and a girl with a tummy brown and solid like the sand I wouldn’t be getting up at 7-30am for poolside crispies. We all know Ian Botham has whisky for the first meal and not Weetabix and “our enry”is still drinking the Brut before his morning jog. People who eat serial are burley working guys who are up at 5-30 ready to power the industrial sector. Attractive Girls don’t eat anything until lunchtime fruit. 9) THE ARMY!……What’s all this nonsense about trying to get smart people into the armed services. Correct me if im wrong but isn’t war all about thinning the working class gene pool. It’s the RAF where the erudite middle classes go to quoft vino and a bit of tally ho up the rear flaps. If my commanding officer told me to drive into dense Forrest and then turn the headlights of I would probably shoot him Full Metal Jacket style. You need to be radically stupid to commit that maneuver. And if I had to mediate with an angry looking foreigner in some Dark Continent or whack up a rope bridge. I would ask the black guy to do it on minimum wage. 10) PC WORLD……..Ok I have run out of high street chains to moan at so I will have a go at Britain’s premier computer store for having a no bag policy in store. This young spotty security guard jumped of his podium like Mussolini and informed me that holdals and rucksack must be locked, yes locked away in lockers while I browse. Ok i admittedly stole an Actionman when I was eight and im dark skinned like an Eastern European.But this kid must know that if he stops anyone remotely who looks like they might stuff a PC in their bag he wont have a job after a while. Everyone will be too embar
                        rassed or peed of to go in again. Where’s the fun for the poor guy who couldn’t quite get in or out of the army (see above) if he can’t leg a shop lifter. The ad where the real staff (see number one) jump up and down at once was what I had in mind for Mr jobsworth security guards head.

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                          27.01.2002 22:30
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                          Adverts! Expensive, boring, pointless, what is the use. First things first. When you are watching a film, as nice as it is to have a break every 20 minutes you don't have one in the cinema and the film therefore goes on about 20 minutes more than it should. Also most of the time you have nothing better to do and therefore have to watch between 3 and 5 minutes of adverts. Adverts have their use as if it wasn't for adverts we'd have to pay another £100 a year to watch ITV, Channel 4 and 5, and the programmes would be worse than they already are. In this day and age more products are being sold by word of mouth and this is the way forward. Referral based business are the way forward and advertising will vanish in my opinion. Imagine a world with no adverts. They'd be no rubbish hair adverts, no perfume/aftershave with no plot, no meaning and no point, also they'd be no GAP adverts which would be the best thing of all. In all faireness there are some good ads out there but the good ones tend to cost more. There are only a few companies on the Web that make money out of the internet. Quixtar is the main one i know of. This is a referral based business and made a profit in it's first year and that's after paying out £185 million pounds in bonuses. I believe Amazon are yet to make a profit, due to all their advertising. The good adverts tend to be those that advertise drinks and food. I wonder why.... Anyway the world of advertising is a strange world and certain companies need to start making adverts that make sense and aren't cheesy, no names mentioned

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                            23.01.2002 21:05
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                            A chance to get a cup of tea or pop to the loo? If you watch a few hours of TV every day, just think how much advertising you see. It all unconsciously seeps into your brain and damages your soul, I am sure. There are so many adverts that I can't stand and very few that I feel actually work. I suppose all advertising raises awareness of the brand or product, but personally I have never been out and bought anything just off the back of a TV advert. The same goes for banner ads on websites (sorry DooYoo), pop up ads, magazine ads (apart from the ones with free samples of perfume or make up), radio advertising etc. Children are very succeptible to advertising, have you noticed all the adverts for expensive toys and McDonalds that are on in the commercial breaks between CITV? It's called pester power, the kids nag you so much that you just give in and buy them whatever Barbie/Harry Potter toy is "in" that week. And what about when products that are not even aimed at kids, like washing power, are endorsed by some cartoon? Yes, I'm taling about the current craze for Monsters Inc, the film which isn't even out yet. It's not just a film, it's a brand, as you can find out in Woolworths by the amount of merchandise they have on the shelves. The Fairy bottles with a nice picture of Monsters Inc on the label is a blatant attempt to get "pester power" into the most boring products! So who are the biggest offenders in the annoying, stupid stakes? Ok, I have to have a bit of balance so I will list some of my most hated TV adverts and then maybe a few I actually like. Here goes.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Army...Be the Best! ___________________ There are two particular army recruitment adverts around at the moment. One has a mixed race girl with curly hair who whispers instructions to her boyfriend as he sneaks into her bedroom at night. The second ad features someone having their "first driving less
                            on" with the army, which involves driving off road, through some woods. Paaaaaaaaathetic. As if they would do that when you had never driven before, you would smash the vehicle up. It makes me really annoyed every time these ads come on. They try to make the army look really "cool". My opinion is that if a person decides to go into the army just because they see one of these ads then they are the wrong kind of person to be in the army anyway. It also annoys me because the tax payers money goes towards paying for these ridiculous adverts. It also makes it look as if the army is a good laugh, a bit like an extended activity holiday. It's not, it's a full time job and way of life. My fiance's sister recently joined the army and it's a lot of hard work, including room inspections and all night guard duties. I know an advert is not going to show the bad side of the army as they are trying to recruit people, but I just find the ads really patronising and ineffective. The army needs hard working people who know what they are getting into and have the moral aptitude for it, not telly addicts who just think "yeah that looks ok". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Calvin Klein- Eternity ______________________ You know the one, black and white, beautiful, perfect family, the kid who whines, "forever and ever and ever". Bleurgggggh, excuse me while I puke all over this patronising, sickly sweet disgusting pile of pants! The beautiful blonde child who is sweet and loving, the loving, hunky husband and the gorgeous wife with the amazing figure, all filmed in a classy black and white. Just like real life, when you go to the beach and there's litter there, your kid's having a tantrum and your fella's whinging because he's missing the football! Typical Americans trying to impose their values on us, that everyone must be perfect looking. Americans love being corny, whether that is their films, their
                            books, even their presidential speeches. This ad epitomises corniness! And what on earth does it have to do with the perfume? To me, the reason I buy a perfume is because it smells nice. No other reason. I always used to wear the body shop vanilla perfume or a perfume called Ici, which were both under £10. I suppose a beautiful image may stir something inside a person which may make them go to a perfume counter and have a sniff-but I doubt it. For anyone reading, if you wear perfume, what prompted you to buy that particular one? Was it a television ad? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Drink Driving Ads _________________ These were shown a lot over Christmas, they have a Christmas song such as "Silent Night" or cliff Richard's "Mistletoe and Wine" playing in the background, then they show you a horrific accident scene caused by someone drinking and driving. I understand the purpose of these adverts is to highlight the importance of not drinking and driving during the festive season, but I have to stick my neck out and say they offend me. Not everyone in the country drives or owns a car. They do not need to see the preaching message as it not applicable to them. I, personally, do not want to see bloody bodies and smashed up cars. If I wanted to, I would watch Casualty or become a doctor or police officer. Maybe I am being insensitive, but I truly believe that those who drink and drive are in the minority and don't see why the rest of us should have to be subjected to these scenes. The government must have spent a lot of money on that campaign and I believe that the money could be better spent, perhaps on training bar staff or having initatives such as improved public transport at night. Maybe if these adverts had actually stopped someone from drinking then driving then they can be called a success. I just don't want to see them, I am sorry to anyone who has been affected by this crime but that is my opinion. If someone chooses t
                            o watch a film with an 18 rating, or a TV programme such as the depiction of "Bloody Sunday", they know to expect to see blood and gore. I for one do not expect, want, or feel it is necessary to see these images during a commercial break. ~~~~ N Power _______ I have personal reasons for my gripe with this particular company. I used to work for them (for a whole three weeks before I was sacked!) and got an insight into their business practices. Their prices are NOT reasonable; I live in a two bedroomed flat and have an electricity meter instead of a bill. Yet although people who have meters are generally less well off than those with bills, the charges are more expensive. In the winter I pay around £30 a week for normal electricity use. All of these factors help to add up to my anger when I see their constant advertising, particularly on The Bill. I like the Bill (especially Nick Klien-mmmmm). I do NOT like the N Power advertising before and after every single credits for the show. A typical N Power ad shows someone jumping for joy because they have recieved their electricity bill. AS IF!!!! N Power, if you spent as much money on customer service and reasonable charges as you did on advertising, you might have some satisfied customers. Their adverts are totally unrealistic and I doubt that they would encourage anyone to change their supplier to N Power. By the way, did you know that N Power used to be MEB (Midlands Electricy Board) but they changed their name so they could get nationwide customers more easily. A warning to all of you, if an N Power salesman/woman knocks on your door and tells you that if you sign something it is just to send you more information, IT'S A LIE! You are signing up to change your supplier. It will cause you a lot of hassle! I used to open all the envelopes complaining about unscrupulous practices such as that and it is widespread (not just with N Power, but they are one of the worse offenders).
                            <br> ****** Ones I actually like! ******* ~~~ Jaguar ______ I can't afford a Jag, and to be honest, even if I could, I don't think I could justify to myself spending that much money on a car. I would rather go on holiday or have an experience. But the current Jaguar advert is something I can appreciate. The music is Chris Isaak's Wicked Game and the images shown are a mans memories of someone he is in love with. It has quite a dreamy atmosphere and is more like a miniuture film than an advert. 90% of the people who see this advert can't afford a Jaguar, and the makers know this, but it creates an exclusive image for the brand. I like the images and the sounds of this advert, although it wouldn't make me go out and buy the car in question. I always watch when this advert comes on. ~~~~~~~~ Judge Jules CD ______________ I saw this advert for the first time yesterday and it really made me laugh. I like the type of music that Judge Jules mixes anyway, so I always watch adverts for dance CD's. But this one beats them all, as my boyfriend said, "I'd buy that CD just off the advert". So what happens? A girl is going out clubbing, once the front door closes, the pets in the house start their own party! The dog is the DJ, spinning the records, the girl bunny is wearing a choker that says BABE on it and she pulls a boy bunny. They go into a mini toilet cubicle together, to (guess what), go at it like .....! The hamster stands on the records as they spin round and the cats dance! This ad is really funny and the music the dog DJ plays is all music off the actual CD. It makes a change from the usual advert of this type with pretty girls dancing in a club looking cool. I don't know if I would buy the CD in question just after seeing this advert, but it has definitely stuck in my head, and I would certainly pick it up in a shop to see the listings. So, to finish up, w
                            hat makes a good advert? * A good product in the first place. You can't dress a smelly old kipper up to look like something useful and desirable (although I'm sure some people would buy anything if it had a logo printed on it). * Something memorable, whether that is music (think of the Levi's ads for ads that use music really well), humour (PG Tips chimps), or the way it looks (Jaguar, the Guinness horses ad). A bad advert... * Is Dishonest When you see a shampoo ad, you know the model has been preened for hours and has nice hair in the first place. The same goes for the Neutrogena skin care ads with Jennifer Love Hewitt-hello, she doesn't have any spots in the first place! At least Weight Watcher ads show before and after pictures and real people. * Is boring Furniture sales, Debt Repayment companies, blah blah blah. I fall asleep when these come on. They do not stick in your head and they all blend into one. Remember-if the ads are driving you mad, you can turn the TV off and read a book- no ads in there! Or simply put the TV on mute and look at teletext, that's what I do. Read the news or letters and expand your mind a little instead of your brain being used as a sponge for the big companies. You are worth more than that.

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                              23.01.2002 00:37
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                              Advertising Adverts are perceived as a nuisance in between all your favourite programmes. However there is one genre of advertising that is always worth viewing and one distinct product that utilises it, the genre is comedy the product is beer. While most adverts are distasteful and thoroughly unwatchable, beer adverts seem to excel. In the past the king was always Carling black label, but now a now messiah has emerged, Budweiser. A succession of great catchphrases launched Budweiser from the bars out into the masses; it was being quoted in offices, colleges and even schools Whassssupp! Mania was in full swing. The Budweiser adverts are quite ironic really because they manage to keep a good level of taste and decency and are actually quite enjoyable, which is the complete opposite of the beer. Maybe it is just part of my stand against the Americanisation of Britain, but I think it really does have something to do with the fact that it tastes and looks like a fluid more accustomed to coming out of the body, rather than a drink. Budweiser is always quick to point out its prestigious history, but in all fairness that counts for nothing if the product you produce is of this low standard. My personal mistake was when I decided that buying a 4 pack of Budweiser rather than my more traditional Carling or on a special occasion Kronenbourg. Sucked in no doubt by the advertising ploy and the inevitability that every time I forced some down, I and a chorus of other acquaintances would be compelled to shout Whassssupp! I am used to trying tasteless beers but I really do think Budweiser takes the prize for the blandest. The colour of it is enough to put off the hardiest alcoholics; it is a very nice yellowy green so I don’t think I have to repeat what that looks like. I was trying to wrack my brains for a positive aspect to even the argument, and this was the best i could muster. There is one thing that Budweiser is good for, in
                              ane advertising, mustering catch phrases that will go on to blight people the world over. So in commendation for this masterful achievement here are the all time top 10-comedy beer adverts ever: 10: Carling Black Label: Mission impossible squirrel This is one of the classics from the early nineties onwards Carling became a force to be reckoned with in the advertising stakes. The most notable foray into the advertising world was with a squirrel who would do a crazy assault course, with the theme from mission impossible as an accompaniment. The utilised there then motto, “I bet he drink Carling Black Label”. This advert may have been slightly tainted by my memory, as it was around about 8 years ago, but by my recollection this was a truly outstanding piece of work 9: Budweiser: Real American heroes This presents a slightly ironic perception of American life, the advert presents “real American hero” such as the toupee wearer and the foot long hot dog inventor. This I think is probably a more personal selection, but it really is quite funny. It takes the good old classic corny American advertising set up of a straight talking presenter accompanied by a singer who puts his heart and soul into what is after all just an advert. 8: John Smiths Bitter: Ladybird ‘widget’ song Combine a straight talking, straight faced stand up comedian with a load of dancing, singing ladybirds and you know you have a classic on your hands. This series of adverts promoting John Smiths in a can with its revolutionary widget was filled with classic moments and songs. 7: Grolsch: The Dutch man teaches us how to make a porno This advert is the pinnacle in the “Shtop!” advertising, depicting the Grolsch man telling the actors how to make a real pornographic film. Really quite funny adverts, which like many of these adverts has the reformation of stereotyping in order to
                              gain humour. This advertising campaign is still going strong and any person who has had the great (dubious) pleasure of viewing it constantly will now be like me, unable to say stop in a serious English accent. 6: Castlemaine XXXX: Australians… This is quite a recent advertising campaign, depicting what Castlemaine means to Australians. The beer is of the lowest standard but the advertising for it is excellent. Much like the “real American heroes” advert, this takes a sideswipe at the Australian culture. Two of the more memorable adverts include a cheating wife and a blind man. This serves to highlight how serious social and medical issues can be contorted to become an object of fun. If you don’t know or can’t remember what these adverts were about here is a brief description. 1. There is a blind man and his guide dog that are tearing through Australian streets knocking people out of the way in what appears to be an emergency. Finally they enter a building, which of course is a bar where last orders is subsequently called, that is what I call dedication. 2. The other memorable advert is of the cheating couple who have obviously just finished consummating their love, he goes around looking at the pictures of what is obviously here husband with a degree of shame, the woman then offers him a beer, which is followed by the immortal line “I couldn’t he is my best mate”. Classic 5: Fosters: Feng Shui This really isn’t that funny but I think the way in which this feng shui expert creates the perfect house is truly admirable. The seemingly serious consultant rids the man of all his clutter leaving him only with a comfy seat, toilet, television and of course a fridge of beer. This is certainly an aspiration for someone such as myself and that is why I have rated it so highly. Live the dream! 4: Carling: Any advert you choose to mention One of the greatest g
                              roups of one off adverts assembled by any product. There are distinctions from the lady in the lake up until the modern day “cracking” desert island commercials. They have been able to achieve some of the most memorable and entertaining advertising campaigns certainly seen on the British Isles. Congratulations, and a big thank you for making that frustrating gap in between programmes throughout the years, just that little bit more special and entertaining. 3: John Smiths: The adventures of the no nonsense man. Since this popular cardboard cut out of one man and his pint burst onto the scenes a couple of years ago, he has managed to entertain his way through various scenarios to reach the Mecca for all ‘lads’ out there. Like so many of these adverts they disguise a pretty fundamental problem, the quality of beer. John Smiths is a bitter, I am a lager fan but I can stomach bitters, up until you reach this stuff. However after a plethora of quality adverts with varying angles of representation, the advertising is well oiled and faultless. The cardboard cut out ‘no-nonsense’ man, has risen to the top through comedic adversity to reach the greatest place under the sun, a tropical island, with football on the television and a very attractive female serving his favourite alcoholic drink, could it be any more perfect? 2: Budweiser: Bud-Weis-Errrr frogs and friends A couple of years ago you couldn’t go five minutes without having to endure someone re-enacting the soul line of a group of talking frogs. Whilst the novelty lasted this really was quite an entertaining series adverts. The movement of the advert progressed through a story with various plots and sub plots. The adverts initially were featuring the frogs solely however through time the plot thickened to include a crocodile, a love interest and finally the duo of two chameleons and a pathetic ferret. You are probably reading this n
                              ow with a sense of disbelief at how tragic one man can possibly be, to which conclusions you draw, I would probably tend to concur. 1: Budweiser: Whhhhaaaaassssssssssuupppppppp!!!! The ultimate comedy advert has to be the incomparable slobbish whassup! crew and their rather memorable catchphrase. This one had me and my friends entertained for months, so yes we were those annoying people on the train who decide to answer with excessive noise and vigour Whaasssuppp! This advert altered a generation’s perception on the role of advertising, and has since encouraged advertisers to take a more satirical view on a product. The catchphrase although invariably annoying had a slightly sinister charm to it, for a period you would see 5 year olds walking the streets shouting out a slogan for a beer company without even realising. This created a sort of free advertising ploy for Budweiser to operate, especially by introducing merchandising to accompany it. A true classic, which will surely go into the advertising hall of fame. Honourable mentions: Best drama award: Guinness: Horses This is actually a piece of photographic art; it really is a clever and well-made advertising campaign. It has a certain mood and darkness to it, possibly reflecting the quality of the product for which it represents. This advert is all about symbolism, the drum symbolises the horses running, the horses in the sea then represent the ferocity and violence of the ocean and the crashing of the waves. A beautiful advert to watch and appreciate. Close but no cigar Kronenbourg: Femme fatale This advert combines clever imagery and a dark sense of humour. However it did not quite have the makings for an out right comedy award. So there we go that was the official top 10-comedy beer adverts as voted for by a select panel of experts (me). Budweiser and Carling came out of it with a plethora of awards, but Budweiser of cour
                              se as the grand masters of advertising creation pulled through to gain the well deserve title of “king comedy beer advert”. However i feel that i must really return to the subject in hand, being Budweiser. Well trying not to repeat myself too much this beer will set you back a bit and not really return anything. You dont get the quality beer head as you would with a quality lager like Kronenbourg, but you do get rather a stale taste. I am sorry Budweiser fans, but the product really is not very high quality, give me a Carling or a Kronenbourg any day. I have no doubts that you will all disagree with the outcome of this poll, so to alleviate the anger, which you are probably feeling right now, scribble something down and make a comment on the opinion or in the Guest book.

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