I don't eat meat, or fish. Or those bloody horrible vegetable lasagnes you get in Little Chefs (why do they put courgettes in everything vege?). I could go on for ages about what I do and don't eat, but that would make for a boring opinion (are you still with me?), so what I'll do is get a bit controversial.

I made a personal choice about not eating meat when I was about 12, for reasons I may share with you later. What I didn't realise was, that this meant I had now joined the 'Vegetarian Party'. I like politics, but I don't think food is a good issue upon which to draw demarcation lines. It's as stupid as basing your whole life around any single issue.

Single-issue politics is only interesting for those of the same political view. All you rabid, tree-hugging, mung-bean-eating 'everybody should be like me' Vege's out there are as irritating as all the militant, man-hating feminists. And what neither of you realise is, you never, ever convert anyone to your way of thinking.

One of the most annoying and antisocial things which I have ever come across, is people who say "she's not a proper vegetarian, she eats chicken/fish/toenails". To which I reply: "Who are you to say what someone else should or should not eat?" That is vegetarianism for the smug. It's not a club, it's not a public statement, it's a personal choice and people who make out like it's the only thing anyone should be thinking about, or that it's possible to 'betray' fellow vege's, need serious help.

I implore anyone who has ever said "I can't believe what they do to those poor, little animals" to grow up and try and see the world as it really is, not as the Animal-Rights/Vegan nutcases portray it. Animals don't have rights, they have instincts and if you try to pretend otherwise you are likely to end up as a an éntree for some hungry wil
d beast. If you truly believe that animals should have the same rights as Humans, try walking up to a crocodile and asking him for his opinion on the matter.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like cruelty of any kind, but that doesn't mean I pretend the world is other than it is. Does the Lion talk about the 'rights' of the antelope? No, the Lion eats the antelope to make baby Lions - that's the purpose of Lions. The purpose of Humans is the same - to make more Humans. That is what we have evolved over thousands of years to do and we are very good at it. We certainly weren't put here to care for all the other creatures at the expense of ourselves (or at all).

Saying that, in the part of the world I live in, we don't really need to eat animals, because we have come up with tasty, healthy alternatives, which I, in my sentimental weakness, have decided I prefer. But I can promise you, if I stopped being able to afford not to eat meat, or I became ill as a result, or I was stuck in the middle-of-nowhere far from the nearest Quorn shop, I'd be killing and eating any animal (even a Vegan if I could find one with enough flesh to make it worth my while) unfortunate enough to cross my path. What will all you animal-right's people be doing?
Pass the mint sauce...