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Sack, Crack and Back Wax
Waxing - Hair Removal in General
Member Name: mavis_riley
Waxing - Hair Removal in General
Date: 25/03/02, updated on 09/01/03 (184030 review reads)
Advantages: You will look beautiful!, Gives you confidence, "Hello girls!"
Disadvantages: It hurts, It can itch, You have to go every 4-6 weeks
For those of you who have ever had any parts of your body waxed - particularly men - you can imagine the pain this must involve. Waxing, after all, involves glueing your hairs to a piece of fabric, and then ripping the fabric from your skin. Skin, as a result, gets tugged and pulled against the direction of the hairs and... argh!! Can you imagine having it done in your scrotal area???
Well, if back-waxing is anything to go by I have a pretty good idea. You see, I'm one of those 'lucky' men who has a rather high level of testosterone. In theory it means I am a rampantly fertile, highly desireable male, but as we all know girls, in practice it means "eurgh, BACK hair".
So being the vain sod that I am, I have tried all sorts of "treatments" to rid myself of unwanted back hair. Waxing, I can safely say, is the quickest, cheapest and most effective form of hair removal for large surface areas.
By waxing, I mean professional 'hot' waxing. I've tried all the DIY, off-the-shelf products under the sun, and they either leave your back resembling a volcanic pizza, or worse, a parched, red hot potato. Ow! And then there are the resulting arguments with your girlfriend/other-girl-filling-in because she didn't 'do' it properly. Trust me, it's a whole world of pain you don't want to get into.
"Er, I need to get my b-b-b-back waxed".
It is a daunting experience for a man entering into the white and pink world of the beauty clinic for the first time. Particularly when the receptionist you approach looks very much like the girl you tried to pull the weekend before; or when the lady reading House and Garden in the waiti
ng area looks like your mum's best friend.
A giggle or a smile - however small - is enough to send you bright red with embarassment, and have you remembering that you forgot to put money in the car meter. Stay calm. They're smiling because they think it's quite sweet that a man takes pride in his appearance. That's what I tell myself anyway!
"OK, take your shirt off and lie down"
Hmm, quite interesting this, depending on the beautician you are seeing. If she is ugly, the chances are you won't give a damn about the hairs on view. If she is pretty, however, you'll be concerned at what she might think, but will nevertheless be looking forward to her loving attention. And if you're like me, you may even kid yourself that you have a chance of pulling her...
"Ffffff - that's hot!"
Hot wax is hot. Not only does it mould and stick better than cold wax, but the belief is that it opens up the pores of your skin to facilitate hair removal. It looks like honey, but some clinics use a type of strawberry curd wax which is pinkish and more benign-looking. Either way, the wax is scooped up from within a temperature-regulated 'wax-tub' with a wooden spatula, and spread over a small area of the back, ready for removal...
Ideally, the beautician won't leave the wax on your back for more than ten seconds before removing it, otherwise it will cool down and become tacky. Conversely, the beautician doesn't want to apply the strip of cloth too early or it won't stick either. Five seconds is about perfect.
~~~~~~ strip applied ~~~~~~~~
This is the time to clench your buttock cheeks and bite the pillow, because your first ever experience of hair removal is going to hurt...
Rrrraaaaaaaaatch!!! <delayed reaction> "YOW!!"
Did that hurt? Of course it did. It hurt the way you'd expect if 300 hairs had suddenly been unro
oted from your skin. There may even be a trace of blood - a sure sign when your beautician starts blowing on your back and tutting to herself (the poor dears hate the sight of blood).
There's good news though: your back is already noticeably less hairy than before. It's unlikely though that you'll have time to take in this good news, so concerned that you are with bracing yourself for the next attack.
Rip, ratch, rotch
The attacks come in thick and fast, and from every angle. You can only surrender and take the pain because if you leave now your back will only end up looking like some messed-up patchwork. Interestingly, your skin thinks the same, and soon enough it too will give up resisting the onslaught and become positively numb. Five "rips" in any particular area is normally enough punishment before your back thinks "to hell with it".
Sensitivity does, of course, depend on the area of the back the beautician is working on. I have a general rule of thumb and to this end I have compiled a list for you. In order of sensitivity:
1. Sides of the neck and traps
2. Upper central back and spine
3. Outer lats
4. Middle back
5. Lower back
The beautician will normally start in the middle of the back, working downwards and then upwards. The neck/trap area is reserved for last, but is perhaps the most important area. Unsightly spots have a habit of breaking out here and it is the area most people will view. Your beautician will finish off by applying either tea tree oil and/or a special cream that takes away any remaining wax.
Sessions normally lasts 20-30 minutes, depending on the ability of the beautician. In my experience, the older she is, the quicker and more effective she tends to be. However, a registered clinic will have qualified staff and there is a set standard procedure in place for all forms of waxing. If things go wrong it's likely to be your own s
illy fault for not looking after yourself properly.
Basic do's and don'ts:
Wear clean, loose-fitting clothes if you can.
Do NOT have a hot shower or expose your back to sunlight within twenty-four hours of a session. Your back is likely to be raw and is easily burned.
Avoid getting soaps and gels on your back during your first hair-free shower - these are the prime reasons for spots.
Hair regrowth will become apparent within 5 days of waxing, and this will normally result in itchiness. Don't worry, this normally goes away after a couple of days as the hairs grow a little longer. Noticeable hair growth (the only type you give a toss about) will occur only after 4-6 weeks of waxing, at which point you should be thinking of making another appointment. Failure to do so will only make your hairs longer and the next session even more of a hack-fest.
A Back-wax will cost you anywhere between £15 and £30, though if you pay over £20 I would suggest you are paying too much for what is essentially a monthly visit.
Give it time. Each visit becomes easier, and you'll learn to turn the trip to the beauty clinic into something to actually look forward to! The first time is always the hardest, and it is easy to get put off on your first visit. Don't.
Try and harness your pain. After a few visits you'll become an expert. The way I see it, the more the waxing hurts, the more hair is getting removed. "Bring it on!", is my motto, and so should it be yours. In fact, there are many motivating thoughts that go through my head during any given session. Popular ones include:
"I can go swimming at last"
"I can wear an open-neck t-shirt"
"I can take my t-shirt off in the park and get a tan"
"I can take a girl back to mine without worrying about my back!"
When you think about it
in these terms, pain really does become a non issue! (Saying that, I'll still pass on the crack and sack wax....)