I was brave enough to play the interent datng game (What Do You Think of Internet Dating?)

Member Name: duskmaiden

Product:	What Do You Think of Internet Dating?
Date:	12/03/09 (475 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: able to get to know somone befroe you meet, a larger selection of people, common interests

Disadvantages: the odd weirdo,

"Sad lonely, Internet geek seeks blond buxom babe to wow her with his Klingon costume. Come and massage my pimples with spot cream. Hopefully we can get it on"

"44 year old Geordie bird, 8 kids, tattoos and a scrunchie recently released from jail for GBH seeks understanding , slightly gullible male to start a new life. "

Is this what you would expect from internet dating. Socially inept individuals, weirdos and those too painfully shy or too busy with their career to find a partner any other way. Internet dating at times still has a stigma. I know one person who will not tell his mum where he actually met his girlfriend instead he said he met her in a bar. Its not right. Its not natural. You are supposed to meet in a hot sweaty meat market of a pub or club where the music is too loud to talk and your too drunk to know exactly what that gorgeous babe or bloke you have pulled is actually like.

So would it surprise you that I have tried internet dating and actually quite like it as a method of finding someone to be romantically involved with. I'm far from socially inept.(I hope). I have a good social life and a nice circle of friends. However when I found myself back in the dating game after splitting up with my ex long term boyfriend I found it difficult to know where to start. I had not been single for 13 years and a lot had changed since then and I had changed. It was easier to meet people when you are at school or university and all in the same boat. I'm not much of a clubber and the thought of going "on the pull" in a meat market of a pub or club did not interest me too much. I tried it once with a mixed result. I got a kiss but also a wrong/false phone number.

MY OPTIONS

The ideal way of meeting your future husband or wife does seem to be via friends and friends of friends. This seems to be the case with the most successful couples in my social circle. It seems ideal as they come recommended and thus are not a complete unknown. However I have a slight problem. My London friends are mostly Jewish and only seem to date within their own faith hence a limited selection of men to choose form unless I wanted to convert to Judaism Most of my long time friends are in Scotland which is little use to me unless I wanted to have a long distance relationship. I have read about taking evening classes or joining a society to meet new people but I had sort of tried that and had not found any eligible young men so it was to the internet to try and find my new love of my life.

So I googled internet dating on Google Uk and came up with a number of different websites some expensive, some free, some very general some specialist. There really is one for everyone from Big beautiful Women,to Christian dating to vegetarian dating. There are even ones especially for extra martial affairs. I'm stingy so looked for the free options. Some sites say sign up for free but are actually paid ones and they are frustrating when you get contact but can not contact unless paying a fee. Hence I used three free ones Freedating.co.uk, Smooch.com and plentyoffish.com.

I took to on line dating like a duck to water. I enjoyed perusing different blokes' profiles. It can be a bit like window shopping but its fun. I like the idea that with many sites you can specify what your ideal man is like when searching. Hence a non smoker was important for me so always searched for one whilst a taller man was preferred but not essential. It was nice looking at pictures but would reject a man if I did not like what he was saying in his profile.

THE PROFILE

If you are considering online dating I would recommend you fill out your online profile as fully and honestly as you can whilst showing some personality. Humour and quirkiness always goes a long way just don't go over the top with it. I found I was naturally more interested in someone with something interesting to say or someone I had something in common with. Loving jaffa cakes, references to pets, good music and eating pizza whilst watching Blackadder have made me interested in a guy. I especially liked the bit on Smooch profiles where you had to list you ideal dinner guests as I found that gave me a good insight into who the person was. On the other hand "Hi I'm into football going out with my mates and listening to music" did not do it for me. Its a bit generic and uninspiring. Even worse is those who put nothing on their profile. How are you supposed to know is someone might be right for you if you have no information on them. The other fairly essential thing on a profile is a good up to date photo of yourself , as everyone wants to know who they might be dating. I have had contact with people without pictures but their profile had to be good enough to compensate. I found that by filling out my profile honestly and accurately listing hobbies such as visiting museums and drinking real ale I could filter out the unsuitable although I did find it frustrating that there were people who obviously had not read my profile fully before contacting me.

INITIAL CONTACT

So you've got your profile up and running now time to sit back and wait for the results. Women are at an advantage, as there are far fewer females on dating websites compared to men. I can't remember the exact statistic but its pretty high. I was proactive and did contact guys. I'm not a coy shy female and will quite happily say hello to a guy whose profile I found interesting or whose picture I liked. I did find it excitingly to log into my email account or onto the website to see if I had new mail . The first guy who got in touch with me was a guy from Bromley. We swapped a few emails then I never heard from him again. Luckily that was the first of a number of encounters.

It can be disheartening to find the only mails are from people you really are not interested in. I'm not racist but often found emails from Asian guys who were offering marriage almost immediately. It was also disheartening to have written a very nice email tailoring it to the things we might have had in common just to have it ignored. I'm not one for the flirts, winks or pre written quick messages the sites offer bu the are nice and it can start a conversation.

Getting a lovely email from someone who has obviously read you profile and put some thought into their messages always a thrill. I always tried to reply to them even if they were not quite what I was looking for. I struck up a friendship with a lovely Georide into real ale, semi vegetarianism and indie music. He was too far away but his email was so nice I did keep in touch and did visit him for a booze fueled weekend in Newcastle. On the question of pickiness Ifound it a difficult balance to meet. On one hand being too picky makes you seem aloof and you can miss out on someone maybe you might not have given a chance but on the other hand going too broad is a no no as you find you will be wasting your s and their time. I found going by my gut instinct helped. A guy from Essex contacted me with a nice email and we started to chat. I was not certain and from his picture did no fancy him but decided to go with it. We did go out three times but I realised by the second time I really did not fancy him that much at all. I'm not sure if it was the tracksuit bottoms on the second date that killed it for me or not.

You've had a couple of emails on site now what. Do yo write to email them for ages or quickly meet up with them. I found that instant messenger was a very handy tool in sorting the wheat from the chaff. I used it as a trail date before meeting them. I found the conversation in real time helped as I found out a bit more what they were like and if conversation would be easy if we met up in real life. I can remember having some wonderful conversations swapping music and pictures. One session lasted for six hours. Its easier to block someone on instant messenger than ge your mobile number if you do not get on. From them I might take a phone number then decide to meet up. I found those who were cagey or wanted to meet up too soon were usually the ones that were slightly dodgy or distasterous such as the Croatian guy who was trying to get too over familiar or the Turkish guy who just wanted to go somewhere more private. Please if you are going on a date please use your common sense and take certain precautions (and I don't mean carrying a condom. I'm not really that sort of girl. Not on a first date!). I always met up with my dates in a public place most usually in a train or tub station or in a pub. I also made sure that my friends knew where I was and let them know when I was on my way home from a date so they knew I was safe.

Between May 2008 and January 2009 I had a number of dates with different guys. Some were more successful than others. I found it most frustrating after having a very successful date (so I thought) for them just to disappear never to be heard from again. I remember going out with a guy for a date in Docklands and we had a kiss at the end. He disappeared only to chat with him a few weeks later on instant messenger to find out he was having an on off relationship with a married woman up north who had had a nervous breakdown. Thank god that one did not go further. However I did find internet dating a fun way of meeting people and regret very little of it.

I'd like to defend online dating to its critics. I've often heard people say its dangerous meeting up with a complete stranger you have met onthe internet. My argument is that you often get to know the person quite well before you meet up with them, often a lot better than say someone you met in a bar or on the bus. Unless your date is a friend of a friend you really do not know the person, if they are married or a mad axe murderer or not. Yes there are weirdos out there but for every weirdo there are fifty lovely normal people just looking for love.

So did I find my Prince Charming on the t'i'nternet. That my dear readers is another story and another review!

Summary: Another method of meeting people