Come and Have a Delve in My Sack! (What's In Your Bag?)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	What's In Your Bag?
Date:	07/01/06 (166 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Erm...

Disadvantages: ...don't go there....there's fluff at the bottom

Well…erm…you can’t because I don’t have a sack actually. Then again I’m hardly Santa Clause but then you knew that already. Isn’t it fascinating to know what’s in someone’s bag? D’yer know, I’ll bet whole volumes of psychoanalysis could be dedicated to the contents of people’s bags. I’m convinced that you get murder scenes where the killer’s purse is left carelessly not far from the scene of the crime and FBI profilers pour over the contents as much as the forensic dudes do trying to build up a psychological picture of the perp (short for perpetrator in crime speak don’tcha know?).

You may be surprised to learn that I don’t really have a purse or a laydeez bag either. Nope, no sack, no purse, no bag as these opinions intended. I guess it wouldn’t be a bad thing if more men did carry purses. Have you ever noticed the faint smile on a man’s face when he is asked to hold his good lady’s purse for a few moments? Men won’t admit it as a rule but they do get the faintest of thrills when pretending to be a woman even just for a short while. It’s a latent desire within us males yer see? In fact, we should all be more like Eddie Izzard and consciously cross-dress wherever possible. No, no, no…..what the hell am I saying? *deepens voice* If you wanna cross dress Bub, then you do so in your own time. Me, I regularly watch rugby, drink 10 pints a night and punch the wall until my knuckles bleed just for fun. See…I’m tough after all.

Aaaaaanyway, look...I do have a bag. Now me being a banking exec and all that, you’d expect me to turn up to work with a gleaming briefcase. However, you’d be mistaken and that’s what you get for pigeon-holing people. Maaaan, we all do it don’t we? So many assumptions based on such a small amount of data. Nope, I take my gear to work in a carrier bag. Yessiree, a plain old placky bag usually with Tesco adorned on it. Well, what’s the point of briefcases anyway? Most execs just have their sarnies in there, you know? Nothing else, just their ham and pickle or cheese and tomato sandwiches probably made lovingly by her-indoors the previous night. No, convention is not for me. I’m kind to the environment and recycle one of our bountiful plastic carrier bags and take it to work. Granted, it’s not great for me image when the Head of the company rolls up in his E Type Mercedes or whatever it is but then I don’t think that I’ll ever quite make it to the board of directors after all *grin*.

So, now you’re dying to know what’s in my bag, aren’t you? See the way I’ve lured you into my trap? (question aimed at the only reader who has made it this far whilst everyone else has moved on to another opinion or another site by now). Firstly, there are my glasses. My sight just isn’t what it was so I usually slip my glasses in their case(otherwise the lenses might get cracked) snugly into my bag. I actually don’t like wearing glasses, to be honest. It’s not a vanity thing. No, it’s just that they kind of annoy my eyes so I tend to drive without them but I can’t read or see the PC screen too clearly so I have to wear them for the most part. Secondly, yes, my sarnies. Well, eating eat every day is so expensive don’tcha think? I have to make ‘em meself though. My good lady will make the kids’ lunches but balks at making mine. It’s sad but true that she just won’t. So I stand there, in the kitchen each morning, making my own sandwiches. That’s shocking isn’t it ladies? Shouldn’t every self-respecting wife attempt to satisfy every whim and desire of their full-time working husband? Eek, I’m into hostile territory now so I’ll leave that question hanging and move on *detects a dark, female cloud gathering*

Moving on then, I tend to pop me mobile phone in there too. I don’t really use my phone a lot. I’ll use it for texts and stuff but rarely call anyone. Well, it’s so expensive isn’t it? Hmmmm…..you’re beginning to think I’m a cheapskate now but remember I am a banker and bankers tend to be prudent when it comes to fiscal matters. Occasionally, my boss does call me on it if I forget to switch it off during the day (he, he…isn’t that what messaging services were designed for?) but otherwise nobody calls. No friends you see? Just ask yourself the question, would you befriend a banker?

Finally, I’d take a book in my bag. If I can, I try to read at lunchtime. I don’t really like shopping (although I suspect that you may have guessed that) so if I can switch off for long enough, I’ll read a few pages. I do find it difficult to absorb the book if it’s been a busy day though so I might buy a paper instead. The Sun is usually good for looking at the pictures and is an innocuous way to while a way a few minutes at lunchtime.

There are so many other things that probably should go into my bag. Lip balm for my cracked lips, mirror to check my complexion, lip stick in case I need it and a large bag of crack cocaine in case there's a deal going down. I've had to stop the crack cocaine thing after getting busted a few years ago to tell you the truth although old habits die hard and a banker's salary isn't what it used to be.

Oh well, there you have it - the contents of my bag. Pretty minimalist really, wouldn’t you say, but then I am a no frills dude. I think I should clarify again that I don’t cross-dress, I’m not opposed to more men carrying purses and I do think that all wives (or partners) should make their husband’s (or partner’s) sandwiches every day. This is important.

Thank you for reading and have a nice weekend won’tcha?

Mara

Summary: Bag contents