Worst Everything....EVER!!!! (Except Cress) (Worst)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Worst
Date:	17/02/05 (120 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: My , thanks, to

Disadvantages: Nednod, for , inspiration

Isn’t “worst” an interesting concept? It’s such a harsh notion being "worst" as opposed to merely bad or indifferent. I mean, I’ve never been told that I’m the worst at something but I’m sure there are many things that I am worst at but people are too kind to tell me. There are lots of things I could field as worst but would they keep your attention for long? Who knows but I can but try (you do realise that it’s snowing all over Europe right now?)

Aaaaaaaaanyway….how ‘bout worst movies for a starter? I mean, there are lots of terrible movies I could pick on. There’s “Top Gun” for a start. Staring Tom Cruise, Top Gun is so full of cliché it’s unreal. From that terrible music parodied so often by “Red Dwarf”, I can only cringe at the sick bucket inducing blue eyed spectacle of Tom C being the hero, claiming the girl and being sooooo brave over his best buddy getting killed along the way. I truly loathe this movie in a way that I merely dislike others or come to like some because they are so bad they are good (see Peter Jackson’s “Bad Taste” as a good example). Other worst movies include: "Nutty Professor 2 - The Klumps" and "Pretty Woman" *shudder*

Worst political person? Well, there are so many to choose from. To be honest, I can’t stand politicians in general so MPs and their entourage are easy targets for my vitriol. Politicians in particular who should be shot include Tony Blair for messing things up so badly in this country, Gordon Brown for being such a tight arse and the whole of the Conservative party for being so inept at everything. I mean, here we have a government that can’t seem to do anything right and yet the Tories are nowhere in site in terms of opinions polls whilst the other lot still can’t get any kind of mention. I won’t veer off into US politics as I only have so much vitriol for one night *grimace*

People that don’t like cress - they’re the worst aren’t they? (he he)

What about pigs? Pigs are the worst eaters in the animal kingdom. Ask yourself just how many times you’ve seen a pig with a bib on. Exactly. Point proven and QED for the Latin scholars amongst the handful that are reading. I guess this might sound harsh if you’ve just finished watching “Babe2” on DVD or something but remember that pigs are not called pigs for no reason *reader thinks: Yeah*

How about worst place ever? Well, it has to be Slough doesn’t it? No, now that IS unfair as a friend of mine works in Slough and…erm…I’ve never been there myself. Soooo…..how about Cricklewood? Yep, Cricklewood sucks. It’s stuck way out on the..erm…I only know Cricklewood from watching The Goodies. It just doesn’t look particularly pretty either. I realise Northampton's hardly Bath or Birmingham's not exactly Edinburgh but Cricklewood has a silly name and begins with C so maybe that's enough to make it worst anyway.

Worst band of the moment? Crikey…has to be “Girl’s Aloud”. Here is a collection of ladeez who all seem to die their hair blonde, wear fake tan and get off on swearing and being generally uncouth. I mean, we could all do that couldn’t we? As to whether they can actually play any instruments is a moot point as the lads don’t get any further than looking at the lithe, swaying bodies on show and……erm…..lost my thread now.

Smelly underpants suck, don’t they? There really is nothing worse than seeing a pair of discarded Y-fronts by the linen basket exhibiting a nuclear glow and having police tape around them in an attempt to stop folks encroaching within a radius of 20 feet for fear of contamination. If you are a perpetrator of such an offence, please find a more genteel way of disposing of your underwear. *apologises to wife yet again*

The weather is the worst isn’t it? I’m not sure which grates more, the lousy weather we get in this country or the general populations’ desire to chat about THE most inane of subjects. Does anyone really care whether it’s raining or not? If it’s raining then you wear a coat or put up an umbrella don’t you? Why talk about it? If you’re unsure as to what the weather will be like on Tuesday you can always go to the Hinternet and check out the 5-day forecast at BBC.Com. Oh look, just cut to the chase and quit talking about the weather. It sucks, it’s boring, it’s THE worst subject in the world and there are so many more interesting things you could be discussing. What about Aunt Getrude's recent hernia operation or the state of buses today and how they just ALWAYS arrive, 3 at a time (when you've been waiting for aaaaaages *rolls eyes*)

What about worst footie team *puts head in Lion’s mouth*? Well, it has to be….erm...Cricklewood AFC. I really HATE that club. It’s so badly run, has a terrible manager in Ron Manager and they lost to Chelsea Under-5’s the other day although Chelsea still managed to field 20 million pounds worth of talent even at Under-5 level (Abramovic wants to win everything).

Worst ever cartoon? I’m sorry but Captain Pugwash used to drive me nuts. All those clunky effects and that high-pitched voice of the Captain himself. I can’t remember whether there really was a load of homosexual references in there per popular folklore e.g. Roger the Cabin Boy and Seaman Staines but maybe there was. I can’t remember.

Oh well, it’s been a BAD day and what better way than to take it out on my keyboard and write a load of poo about things I think are worst? My huge thanks for reading as this may be the worst opinion ever to appear on Dooyoo *grin*

Marandina (cress rocks)

Note: For anyone offended for any reason (e.g. politicians, people from Cricklewood, cress-haters), please refer all abusive phone calls and letters to my lawyer - Phil MacCavity who operates from Upper Malaclusion in silly Kent)

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