Writing
No Equal: Chapter One - Writing Discussion

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No Equal: Chapter One
Writing

ralfschumacher

Member Name: ralfschumacher

Product:

Writing

Date: 11/01/08

Rating:

Advantages: Well I hope it's easy to read and with a good flow.

Disadvantages: But then again it's very cheesy.

Okay, I know this is really cheesy but I wrote it quite a while ago and I remember that I was trying to write something resembling a John Woo style but it came out all wrong. But comments are appreciated even if they are bad.

1. EXT ROAD - (LOS ANGELES) - AFTERNOON

A Birds eye view reveals two cars on a main highway. One seems be chasing the other in a game of cat and mouse. The two cars are dodging through other vehicles at high speeds.

A loud roar sounds as a car rushes around the corner just missing TWO PAEDESTRIANS as they cross the street. The TWO PAEDESTRIANS quickly rush to the sidewalk on the other as the chasing vehicle swerves round the corner hitting a trashcan.

2. INT: CHASING CAR - MOVING - CONT'D

The car is quite new but looks damaged. There are bullet holes and dents on the outside. Inside the vehicle there are two men DETECTIVE HARRIS and DETECTIVE ROBERTS.
ON DETECTIVE HARRIS

In his late thirties, clean shaven and is holding a pistol. He is sitting in the front passenger seat.
ON DETECTIVE ROBERTS

Early thirties, wearing sunglasses and is rugged looking. He is sitting in the drivers seat holding a walkie-talkie.

DETECTIVE JACK ROBERTS
(Holding walkie-talkie to mouth)
This is Detective Jack Roberts in pursuit of silver Porshe, licence plate Z790SLY, requesting immediate backup. Over.

OPERATOR (O.S)
Hold for one moment Detective.
For a couple of seconds all you hear is the loud sound of the engine roaring and the agressive changing of gears.

OPERATOR (CONT'D)
Tango S3742 there are currently no units in your area, nearest officers can be with in 10 minutes. Over.

JACK doesn't respond, instead just looks at his partner disapointingly. JACK then, while driving, pulls out his pistol from his gun belt and turns to his partner.

DETECTIVE JACK ROBERTS
Take the Wheel.

JACK gets up out of his seat and puts the top half of his body out of the window with the gun pointing at the SUSPECT's car. JACK's partner HARRIS reaches over from his seat to take control of the wheel.

Now with the top half of his body out the window JACK fires his weapon at the back left wheel of the SUSPECT's car. JACK hits the SUSPECT's wheel causing the vehicle to swerve but the SUSPECT manages to regain control..

3. EXT: BACK ALLY ROADS

The SUSPECT enters a side road in a deperate attempt to lose his pursuers, but, closely folowed by the TWO DETECTIVES, he bursts through a pile of boxes and ends up in a dead end.

The SUSPECT tries to back up but is immediately blocked by the other vehicle. HARRIS and ROBERTS exit their vehicle, position themselves behind their car doors and point their pistols at the wanted man.

DETECTIVE HARRIS
(Pointing gun at Suspect)
Come out with your hands up. Throw your weapon to the ground and lay flat down on the floor.

The door to the SUSPECT's vehicle opens. His arm appears with the gun dangling from his hand, he drops the gun and begins to exit the car.

ROBERTS and HARRIS begin to approach the SUSPECT. Silence. In a quick reverse of pace the SUSPECT turns in a flash and pulls out a gun from his back and fires upon the Detectives.
HARRIS fire back followed by ROBERTS. In the middle of exchanging fire the SUSPECT jumps on his car, still firing at HARRIS and ROBERTS and jumps over a fence into another ally.

ROBERTS and HARRIS get up from their positions and begin to give chase. ROBERTS pulls out his walkie-talkie and begins to talk to the OPERATOR.

DETECTVE ROBERTS
(Running and breathing quite heavily)
We're heading down an ally off 32nd on 2nd. We need air assistance.

OPERATOR (O.S)
Air assistance and ground vehicles are on the way.

CUT TO. SUSPECT

The SUSPECT sees and open fire escape to what seems to be an apartment block. He enters the building through the fire escape closely followed by his shadows.

CUT BACK TO HARRIS AND ROBERTS

4. INT: APARTMENT BLOCK - DAY

HARRIS pokes his head around the corner to the next hallway and just catches a glimpse of HIM entering a room at the end of the corridor. They also hear screaming that may mean the SUSPECT has a HOSTAGE.

CUT TO. SUSPECT

As the SUSPECT enters the room he holds his gun to a WOMAN who was inside and takes her hostage. The WOMAN screams for help.

SUSPECT
(Holding his gun at the hostage)
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I said shut the f*ck up. Okay.
The woman complies immediately.

CUT TO. HARRIS AND ROBERTS

HARRIS and ROBERTS sneak up to the door where they believed the SUSPECT had entered. Once they are outside the room they position themselves and cautiously prepare to enter.

THEY reload their weapons and then turn and look at each other. HARRIS nods at ROBERTS as a signal to make a move. ROBERTS nods back to acknowledge him. They take a deep breath, make a 180-degree turn and kick down the door.

5. INT: HOSTAGE'S APPARTMENT

When DETECTIVES HARRIS and ROBERTS enter the apartment the Suspect is not there. Suddenly they hear more screaming.
In another room we see the SUSPECT and HOSTAGE. The SUSPECT is holding a gun to the HOSTAGE's head.

HOSTAGE
(Trying to stuggle away)
In here...In Here!!! Help!!
The SUSPECT pushes the gun harder into her head.

SUSPECT
I said to Shut Up what part of that don't you understand.
CUT TO. ROBERTS AND HARRIS

ROBERTS points to the room that he thinks the SUSPECT is.

JACK ROBERTS
This way.

They move toward the room and go inside.

6. INT: BEDROOM - HOSTAGE'S APPARTMENT

The SUSPECT points his gun at the DETECTIVES to halt them.

SUSPECT
Hold it there! Any closer and i'll shoot the her.

HARRIS
(Still pointing gun at the Suspect)
Come on, take it easy, all we want to do is talk and settle this. Why don't you let the woman go,she's got nothing to do with this.

SUSPECT
NO! NO! NO! Stop f*cking with me. Put you weapons on the floor and kick them over to me. NOW!

HARRIS
(Lowering his weapon)
Okay, okay. We're doing it.

HARRIS and ROBERTS comply with the suspect as they fear for the safety of the YOUNG WOMAN he has hostage.

SUSPECT
(Waiving gun at them)
Now stand over there with your hands on your head.

HARRIS
Look, there's always a way out.

SUSPECT
No my friend, what I do there's never a way out. There's only winning and losing and at the moment I'm winning and your losing.

Suddenly the SUSPECT pushes the HOSTAGE to the ground and fires on the DETECTIVES. The HOSTAGE quickly runs into a closet and closes the door.

The TWO DETECTIVES dive to the ground but HARRIS gets hit. Still moving slowly HARRIS and ROBERTS grab their weapons and attempt to fire back.

HARRIS is too injured so he gives his pistol to ROBERTS. Now with two pistols in his hands ROBERTS gets up, turns, jumps over the sofa and begins to fire on the SUSPECT. IN SLOW MOTION ONE BY ONE THE BULLETS HIT THE SUSPECT causing him to fall to the floor.

ROBERTS walks over to the SUSPECT to see if he is dead and then lowers his weapon. ROBERTS then looks across the room to see HARRIS spilling with blood...

Thanks for reading.

This was also on the ending but I decided to take it off and end it where I did.

HARRIS
(Holding his hand over his wound)
Arraghh!!! Jack I don't think I'm going to make it. Tell my wife... that I love her and that she will always be in my heart.

ROBERTS
(Trying to stop the bood)
Harris! Harris! Please don't die on me. Wake up!!
Just as HARRIS dies the S.W.A.T team arrive.

S.W.A.T GUY
(Holding gun at Roberts)
You get away from him.

ROBERTS
Wait I'm his partner, I'm going to reach for my badge. Don't shoot.

S.W.A.T GUY
Do it. Slowly.
ROBERTS shows his badge and the S.W.A.T Guy apologises and escorts him outside.

Summary: An action movie. Well it tries to be.LOL