I'm Dead Kewl 'Cos I Like to Drink. (Your Bar)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Your Bar
Date:	16/07/05 (127 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: You feel better

Disadvantages: Hangovers

Have you ever rustled around the discussion categories looking for a subject to write about? No? Well if you haven’t you really should; it’s so liberating. It’s a bit like a lady swapping her sweaty, sticky frilly undergarments for a pair of cool shorts in the current hot weather spell. Needless to say, I did just that meself only recently to discover a category all about what’s in your bar. Crikey, blimey, here was a cat written about by loadsa folks although many postings were going back a bit. Yup, I enjoyed scooting through the intros and even found some quirky writing by writers who would never be considered quirky these days. Maybe they’ve become less quirky over the years but then quirky is what quirky does as that bloke said in the movie about life being like a box of chocolates (Oh for Lordy’s sake, gerron with the op). O...K....

So anyway, how many people actually have bars d’yer reckon? I mean, for me that conjures up an image of Stan and Hilda Ogden’s house in Coronation Street wiv that bar they use to have. D’yer remember the one with the wall behind it with the dive-bombing geese on it? Ach...I’m showing me age now as that was a few years back. Are they still in it? I have to say I stopped watching Corrie when the 2nd World War finished but I’ll bet if I watched an episode now I’d pick up on the same threads as the ones I’d left behind. That’s the beauty of soap operas innit? Same story rehashed over and over again like a single sock caught in a perpetually spinning tumble drier. Nope, I don’t reckon yer average punter has got a bar per se but many will have the closest thing to it i.e. a fridge. Hmmmm....of course there is the customary wall cabinet with a section for drinks. Now I do have one of those along with the fridge so now we have 2 areas to store drinkeroonies.

Soooo...starting with my cabinet *ushers readers into dining room* Here you have my wee section for booze. Now this could accommodate quite a few bottles of different drams. In today’s case there’s...erm...just 2 bottles *blush* Weeeell....that shows you how little I drink *cough* First of all there is a bottle of Lanson Champagne *swagger* I seem to recall being awarded this at work for something or other but I can’t think what it was. It was probably for having the biggest grin on a certain day or something equally daft. Who knows but I do remember the first time me and my good lady drank a bottle of champagne. There was this geezer putting a shed up for us after we’d moved down to Northampton from Brum and decided to take our shed with us. Quite why we decided to open it I’ve no idea but we did and we shared the bottle with this workman bloke. We’ve no airs and graces y’see so it didn’t really matter that it wasn’t a special occasion. To tell the truth, neither of us particularly like champers – massively over-rated in my view. ‘Tis just strong cider. I know a lot folks lika da champers and the Bollinger tent is always rammed on Test match day at Edgbaston but I do resent the snob value it attracts and everything that’s read into people that drink Champagne. News flash dudes, you are the same person you were before after you’ve swigged yer flute full of magic, personality changing substance.

The other bottle in there is Pimms No.1. Now that may seem a little curious after all I’ve said above. Yes, Pimms is equally pretentious with all of those images of hot Wimbledon days of tennis and strawberries and cream and stuff but I really did buy it ‘cos I though it would be nice served cold with lemonade. As it turned out it was kinda yucky what wiv it being sweet and sticky. Nah...didn’t like Pimms so I still have a bottle three quarters full. It ain’t exactly cheap either, dagnabit! Still, I’m sure there are lots of peeps who do like the Pimms with many a long, hot evening spent in a hospitality tent darn in Sarf Landon full of corporate geezers swigging Pimms and swapping pleasantries.

Now normally there would be a wee bottle of Scotch in there. I do like blended as opposed to malt but then I’m a heathen aren’t I? Mmmmm....yer canna beat a wee dram of Famous Grouse although my ex-next door neighbour did try and indoctrinate me into liking malt once. He’s one of those blokes who likes to buy those obscure malts from the Outer Hebrides and stuff that costs a grand a bottle or something close. Y’know, matured in an oak casket since 1523 in a remote cave kept at 10 degrees C and never touched by a human hand. Well, actually I’m exaggerating but he does go in for all that peat inspired, small Scottish island stuff and it is veeeeery nice to drink. There’s nothing quite like piling some of the fire water down your gullet in a proper, crystal cut whisky tumbler (now whose the snob?)

So anyway, over to the ever reliable fridge. Well here the usual suspects vie for space with the milk and bread. There’s me beer which is a must in hot weather....and average weather...and cold weather. I like lager (I’m afraid) although only recently I’ve suddenly switched to bitter as it does have more of an actual taste than many lagers do. My good lady like the blue stuff, y’know that alcopop thing the name of which escapes me now. You have to say that the whole alcopop thing is like drinking pop with an insidious alcohol kick in to get folks going. I really can’t see the attraction myself to anyone other than those with no taste buds or Lambrini lovers everywhere but the alcopop industry is worth billions now so what does it matter what I think? (Shhhh...don't tell me wife I said that either)

Finally, there’s wine. Yep, I do love a bottle of red. Wine should be red shouldn’t it? We don’t really go in for chilled, white stuff and this does save space in the fridge. After all, red should not be chilled but kept at room temperature. If you are one of those people that keeps their red wine in the fridge then cease and desist immediately or I’ll strap you to a chair and make you watch the “Sex Lives of the Potato Men” DVD (a fate worse than death, trust me).

Ho hum, there you have it. If you fancy telling us what’s in your bar then feel free as I gear up for a lad’s night out tonight where the bar takes on a different significance and the conversation will be predictable but fun. Just how many hours can you spend talking about sport and women? ;O)

Y'all have a nice weekend now.

Marandina

Summary: It's all about drink!