My ten most important things (Your Top 10)

Member Name: kimgraham

Product:	Your Top 10
Date:	15/11/02 (394 review reads)
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Advantages: Improve your feel good factor

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Sorry, this isn't quite the right place, but everyone else is at it!!

It is supposed to be The Ten Things I cannot Live Without:


I do find these top ten lists fascinating. I have thought about writing this one for a little while, but to be quite honest I could not even start to think of ten things I couldn't really live without! Perhaps I am being pedantic, but for me the only things you really can't live without are food, water and shelter.

My life has not always been easy and I learned a long time ago that you can live without most things. It isn't pleasant, but it can be done! So, I propose to tackle this opinion from a slightly different perspective:

"The 10 things I would really prefer not to live without!"( but know that I would cope with if push came to shove). Honestly, perhaps I have got hardened in my old age!

1.MY CHILDREN/FAMILY

My children never fail to amaze me. I have four of them aged between 23 and 15. I started having them reasonably young and to some extent we have grown up together. They are all very different in many ways, but my daughters and I all share a love of music, history, politics and books. I,in turn, inherited all those from my father. It is interesting how these things have come down through the generations!

I have considered it a privilege to aid and abet my childrens journey through life.They are among my dearest friends and we do have great fun together sometimes. My fifteen year old is a bit of a Kevin, but she will come out the other side. I think most of us with fifteen year olds probably live with a Kevin. Harry Enfield was horribly accurate with his portrayal, in case any of you younger parents thought it was a pastiche! You have it all to come!! Oh, now she is following me round Chuckleweb. If she thinks I am moderating my behaviour to suit her, then she has another think coming!!

When my ex and I split up I removed a
ll my rings
( he gave my engagement ring to his other woman- how's that for cheek!) but I wear one, it has five diamonds, one for each of my children, each of them a diamond in their own right. My fifth was stillborn, but I still feel the need to acknowledge his existence, rightly or wrongly.
Sentimental old fool, my kids call me!

I also have three grandchildren aged 4, eighteen months and six months.They also bring enormous pleasure and value to my life. They belong to two of my children, who I am sure will not mind me telling you that I was not very impressed when they both ( at the age of 18) told me they were expecting. I was worried for their shattered futures and the wellbeing of themselves and their babies, obviously. When my son told me he was expecting and had only known the girl for six weeks you can imagine my abject horror. After the initial shock I then realised that I felt far too young to be a grandparent.
Actually, that is a good thing, I now realise, as I can rough and tumble with the boys as much as required.

I am very proud of how my son and daughter have coped with early parenthood. They have both made a great job of it so far, so perhaps they learned something after all!

I also am very attached to my five year old niece. Lara is my sister's only child born after very many years of trying. It was managed naturally in the end, although I was lined up to be an egg donor just in case. I was so relieved when I didn't have to do it! I would have done, of course, had it been required ,as it would have eased my sisters' pain.

Lara is only 10 months older than my elder grandchild and so we have an interesting generational split. She was the niece I never thought I would have, and we all spoil her to pieces - intelligent, funny and beautiful and an integral part of my family.

I think families are a bit of a must-have really.


2. SINGING

For my sins, I am a pro
fessional singer, violinist and pianist. I have sung all my life, wherever I might be I am singing along to myself on a regular basis! I sing all around school and drive the others potty. It is not uncommon to here a cry of " Do shut up Kim, do you always have to be so b****y happy". Our head of history is rather a chum. He is also an opera buff. He always comes across the lawn singing his conversation to me. Most of our converstaions are sung. We get very funny looks sometimes!!

Everyone can sing, it doesn't matter what it sounds like, most people enjoy singing if only in the shower! It is also very good for your health. In order to sing well you have to learn diaphragmatic breathing. This fills the bottom third of your lungs which rarely get used in everyday life, or non singers. Good breathing can be a real pick me up as it really oxygenates your blood. There are other fringe benefits too; to sing properly you have to use your pelvic floor and it has to become very strong.Wonderful for the sex life, girls, or stress incontinence!

For me singing really lifts the spirits. One of my great pleasures used to be singing in the garden in the rain, in bare feet on the grass! No, I would not be too happy to live without my singing!

3.MY OTHER HALF

I was not entirely surprised to discover that lots of people had included this one in their selection!

So, what is so special about mine? Lots of things but some are not suitable to write here!!

He is quite possibly the most supportive person I have ever met.He always knows exactly the right thing to say and accepts me for who I am. He never judges or criticizes and always listens without complaining.He understands my painful past and is always kind and understanding.Above all, he has done wonders to make me feel better about myself.What more could anybody ask?

Unfortunately it isn't easy for us to see each other very often at the moment, but he com
pensates for this by staying in touch daily. This helps a great deal, for both of us,I think.

We have so much in common that it is like being two sides of the same coin. It can seem quite uncanny sometimes.It is wonderful to share so much and I just enjoy being in his company more than I can possibly say. Not only is he an utterly gorgeous person, but very funny and intelligent, too.

Sometimes I get an attack of "flap-itis" and spend a few hours panicking about silly things. He is very kind and eminently sensible, and generally sorts me out with a few well chosen sensible words that do the trick.I am sure that he must sometimes want to get annoyed about it, but if he does he never shows it! This man has the patience of a saint, I tell you!

I cannot remember ever feeling so comfortable with another person. We can, and do, discuss anything. I am utterly grateful that he is part of my life as he has enriched it more than I would have ever believed possible.Possibly the most important thing is that he has taught me to trust again. I had vowed I never would!

It all goes to show that sometimes it is worth taking a risk! I am very, very lucky.


4. BOOKS

I have a lifelong love of books. As a child every penny of my pocket money was saved to buy books. Every Friday my father took me to the library ( mum was never really a book person) and he and I would spend hours together, browsing, and he would show me interesting things in reference books. I used to love those Friday evenings. I always had my nose in a book, and still do, pretty much.

There is so much that reading a book can do for you, it can educate, titillate,thrill, allow you to escape, fantasise and so much more besides. I generally have two or three on the go at a time. I usually have a trashy novel for pick up put down reading, a more meaty epistle, and a piece of non fiction. That satisfies all my moods. I draw the line at Mills and Boo
ne ,though! Eughhh!!

I am a quick reader and I can't put books down. I become totally engrossed and lose all concept of time. For that reason I am very careful when I pick up my non fiction or serious book as they totally envelope me. I use the trashy fiction to use as a quick time filler. They are rarely particularly absorbing! It is a pleasant enough way of passing the time, though.

I encouraged my children to have a love for books from a very young age. They were all fluent readers by four, reading Roald Dahl and the like before starting school.The infant school thought I had pushed them into it, but all four yearned for books before they could walk.
My elder two daughters and I are often found loading up with books in Hammicks or Waterstones when they have the three for two offers running. We have now run out of space to put any more bookcases and the existing ones are full to bursting! Last summer we bought fifteen novels and have nowhere left to put them!
I do not believe a home is complete without books.

5. MY ANIMALS

I realise that not everyone is into pets, but mine mean an awful lot to me. I have two cats, nine rabbits and a tame shrew.

I like the independence of cats. They love you, but on their terms.Mine are both very friendly, but only when they want to be! I can relate to that- have you never had an afternoon when you just weren't in the mood to have your back stroked? Well, cats are just the same.

I adore my cats, but my real p[assion are my bunnies!
Sadly my four year old house rabbit died in June after a year of intensive nursing on my part. For most of the year he still had a sparkle in his eye, a quality of life and a strong will to live.He would bound up to me and leap onto my knee when I got home from work- he was my little friend. One day the light went out in his eyes and he refused to eat. I realised a one way trip to the vet was necessary. He didn't last until
the appointment,dying in my arms in our sitting room.I was heartbroken.

I still have the other nine. This time last year I had 18 rabbits and the year before 26. I sold some of my babies and then we had an epidemic which wiped out quite a few. Because of that I have stopped breeding for the time being. No, not me myself, the rabbits!!

I have heard it said that rabbits are boring animals with no personality. That is totally untrue. All mine have their little idiosyncracies and characters.If handled well from a young age they enjoy attention and will respond positively to a cuddle. I would certainly be very sad to be without mine!


6. CIAO/DOOYOO

What ever did we all do before joining these communities?

I enjoy both sites pretty equally, although I am very saddened by the debacle at Dooyoo vis a vis the arrival of Aurora. I hope it survives the mess, as I for one would be very sorry to see it fold.

I have found opinionating to be an absorbing passion. It is interesting to get to know different writers and see their style blossom and develop. There are some really top notch writers on both sites who it is just a pleasure to read.

I have even been known to use them to assist in making a major purchase, in particular the digital camera that I got my daughter Hannah for her birthday. It was extremely useful, and what the site is intended for. Amazing!

I enjoy the community spirit on both sites and have met several people and made friends. I was especially pleased to be involved with the music for the Ciao wedding of the ANDREWSJK's.
That the community spirit is strong is self evident if you visit Tooyoo or Chuckleweb.

I hope both sites make it, I really do.

7. MY COMPUTER

Without my computer I would not have the pleasure of the opinion sites, I would have difficulty communicating with friends, and I would not be able to do my administration for school. I often w
onder how we all managed before computers were commonplace in the home. I just don't have the time to be continually running to the post box to send letters. E-mail is a godsend when you have a frantic schedule.

Most of my relaxation time is spent at the computer as by the time I finish work I am too tired and it is often too late to go out. It is a wonderful reference aid and educational tool. If all else fails, you can play cards on it, although my own preference is for backgammon!

I could live without my computer, honestly I could, but.....

8. MY INTEGRITY

You might think that this is a strange one!

You cannot put a price on your integrity. I was close to losing mine some years ago when my ex pushed me to some pretty extreme limits. He has no scruples or integrity, so why should he care for somebody else's? Nobody is worth that.

I always felt that I must escape whilst my integrity was still mostly intact.It took longer than I wanted, but I managed it and in doing so regained the integrity that I had lost. I would never risk it again, not for anyone!

You know what they say, to thine own self be true. That is so important, I think.


9.MY VIOLIN/MUSIC IN GENERAL

I am a violinist and that is the essence of my being. If I feel down in the dumps I can play for two or three hours and then feel wonderful. It is possible to lose yourself completely in what you are doing and lose all sense of time. It is a bit like reading in that respect. Sometimes I cannot tell where I end and the violin starts, especially if I play in bare feet with my eyes shut, a particularly favourite activity of mine!

It is an intrisic part of my life, as is all music.

There is music for all tastes, moods and occasions, and I can't think of anyone who doesn't listen to music at all. We have very eclectic tastes in this house, and if the windows are open you can hear anything from gr
and opera, through rock,Jamiroquai, Simon and Garfunkel,Pink Floyd, Queen, Abba- oh, and if my fifteen year old is here Eminem and Soggy Cookie! I wonder where we went wrong with her musical education? She is a superb violinist so should have more taste, but there you go. I have tried banning it, as I find it unsuitable for her age, but she just borrows it from other people. It is truly awful!

I would be sad not to have music, but as I can hear entire symphonies in my head from memory, I could get by!

10. CORNWALL

I am an un-ashamed Cornwall-o-holic. I need to go several times a year and get my fix, or I get very ratty. We had a family house in Cornwall until quite recently and could nip down for weekends as well as the longer holidays.

I love the ruggedness of the North Coast, the violence of the sea and walking the coastal parth in and around Bedruthan Steps, (in between Padstow and Newquay). I particularly like walking, and pub walks in particular. Cornwall is superb for that. My favourite walking area is the Helford River. It is lush, green and full of wonderful wildlife.

If I am feeling brave there is nothing like a dip in the Atlantic- can be bracing, though. I have always loved swimming in the sea- wonderful.

I love the pace of life in Cornwall and the mild weather round Falmouth.There are so many things to do without needing to resort to touristy theme parks, which we did when the children were small. Now they appreciate the beauty and all the things you see if you slow down and walk!

If I couldn't go again I would very sad indeed.

There we go, I found ten in the end!

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