Warning:This drink may be unsuitable for non-vagrants... (Carlsberg Special Brew)

Member Name: Tris911

Product:	Carlsberg Special Brew
Date:	22/02/03 (465 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Strong & does the trick, Tastes ok, Cheap

Disadvantages: Deadly, Degrading

Let me begin this review of this drink by saying that you were warned so if you wake up expecting to see your lovely wife smiling back at you, don't be suprised to see the toothless scowling of a homeless man wanting his blanket and whippet back.

I like a drink and the drink I like the most is lager. I will happily guzzle down a couple of 4 packs of any of your Carling or Stella and will feel nice and warm inside for it. Special offers withstanding, this can be quite an expensive hobby so I started contemplating buying some of this Special Brew stuff that I have heard the tramps enjoy quaffing in their doorway palaces.

I went to Adsa, did the usual shop and then the usual 'slip a couple of 4 packs into the trolley'. Today however, we had bought a lot of that food stuff so the bill was already going to be quite high. Today was the day I thought, that I would try the strong stuff, the trampchampagne, the Special Brew!

There were quite a few brands to choose from, more than I had imagined in fact. I almost randomly chose the Carlsberg Special Brew (although I seem to recall it was one of the cheaper ones in the percentage alcohol to price ratio). I think I paid £4.26 for it, so it was marginally more expensive than the Heinekens of this world but not too much more expensive than Stella.

I got it home and cracked one open at around 7pm. The first can seemed to go down as easy as Stella but you could certainly taste that extra kick that the higher alcohol content gave. For the first can though, the taste was nothing special - just like normal Carlsberg but more alcoholicy (I know that's not a word but..)

We were watching a film, I had my 3 cans next to me and then I tried to talk. The words were right in my head, they were right as they were going through my nervous system but somewhere between there and my mouth, the Special Brew took over and I suddenly realised I had just slurred. I put this down t
o me being tired, it being Friday and all.

The second can was slightly more difficult to get through but no big problems here. I could certainly feel the effects now, even though it was only the equivalent of just over a 4 pack of Carling - it was somehow a different feeling.

Halfway through the third can we paused the film and I went to make some munchies. I don't remember certain points of this and I don't remeber eating the food but it happened - my more sober other half later confirmed.

So far, I had been following the film but half way through the 4th can, my brain got bored and stopped taping so from this point forward I don't remember what happened. I thought I had finished the 4th can but the next morning I found one with a quarter left in it. In a way I was disappointed as I would have drunk it on the night, in another way I was happy as I didn't really need any more.

I kept falling asleep watching the film and under instruction from the girlfriend, I found my way to bed.

The next morning I had a nasty hangover. I don't usually get them as I take all the necessary precautions (lots of water and toast!) but this time the potion must have won the fight. By the end of the day though I had shook off the effects of drinking the Brew and I swore that I would never buy that drink again (unless I became very very poor).

It was cheap and it certainly did do the trick, but then these are qualities shared with meths and hard drugs and any lager that does this to a man should not be allowed and should only be sold in soup kitchens. It tasted ok, a little strong but the Trading Standards people would point out that that is why it is called *Strong* Brew and not *Weak as wee* Brew.

I would say that everyone should try this stuff at once in their lives. We must all learn from our mistakes and maybe that is what this site is for (to stop others making the same mistakes) but whateve
r I tell you, you are still going to give it a go aren't you? Of course you are.

Short of sleeping in urine sodden clothing under a bridge in the middle of the winter with only the incessant ramblings of a lady called Doris to keep you sane, this is the closest you are going to get to living life like a vagrant.

Summary: