Castles In The Sky (Castle)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Castle
Date:	09/03/02 (132 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lovely creamy taste

Disadvantages: As ever it's beer so can't think of any!

As he reached for the towel, water still in his eyes, he reached for his bottle of Castle lager and the memories came flooding back.

The events of the previous evening had taken their toll on the author. It had been a night painted on a duplicitous canvass by a painter with a sense of irony that would have challenged the most playful of muses. The house party the previous night hadn’t been the greatest ever and the incident in the Indian restaurant had left him mentally drained. Fortunately, he still had strength to make his flight to South Africa the following day.

The plane stood on its apron like a steel behemoth awaiting its next call to motion from those inconsequential figures that called the shots. Sunlight glistened on its hull deflecting into the viewer’s face like a thousand sunlamps. He clambered up the steps to the plane and eased into his chair by the window. This was a great view overlooking the right wing of the plane. He pondered what choice there would be of drinks, as was his privilege on flights like this. He looked across at the engines in his line of sight and a Twilight Zone screenplay floated into mind. He couldn't recall the name but remembered a scene with John Lithgow looking out across at the engines and then seeing gremlins attacking them. He recalled Lithgow's frantic expression, as nobody else seemed to be seeing what he was seeing. Each time he pulled up his window flap he would be confronted by a hideous gremlin looking back at him causing all manner of mischief.

His reverie was broken shortly after taking off. His question was answered as the airhostess turned up with some Castle lager.

"Care for a beer, sir?" she asked with a gentle South African lilt.

"Is it any good?" the author asked.

"Well, Castle is a division of SAB – South African Breweries.

SAB is the world's leading brewer in developing markets and the fift
h largest overall.

SAB owns and operates 108 breweries in 24 countries, employing over 31,000 people.

In November 2001, SAB became the first international brewer to enter Central America.

SAB's flagship Castle Lager is a title sponsor of the national soccer, cricket and rugby teams in South Africa.

SAB's brand Tyskie is currently the leading brand in Poland."

The author was impressed by her knowledge and asked "But is it any good?"

"It has it’s own website sir. You can visit http://www.shebeenroute.co.za/frames.asp to get a fun filled adventure through the drinking halls of South Africa (called Shebeens).

The site has a midi file illustrating the typical sounds of a South African township and is decked out in different shades of orange to reflect the corporate personality of the brand."

Again he looked at her admiringly and enquired. "So is it any good then?"

"Why not try it for yourself?" and with that she left the bottle and did an elegant twirl to move off in her quest to satisfy other passengers.

He glanced down at the typically brown bottle and took in its classically labelled body. The main label had Castle lager emblazoned across it with a picture of a castle centre stage. The signature of Charles Glass was underneath. Around the edge were the words "The great South African beer .. The taste that's stood the test of time." He noticed that the beer was 5% alcohol by volume. On the reverse of the label was the declaration that Castle lager was South Africa's favourite beer having been brewed since 1895. In the small print was a customer information line along with the ingredients, which were barley. malt, maize, hops and water.

This particular beer couldn't really be described as mainstream as it's brand hadn't got a particularly high profile in the UK. He couldn't recall
seeing any adverts for it but, of course, that didn't mean that there hadn't been any. Maybe it was an up and coming brand that would challenge the Kings and Queens of the sector in the coming years?

OK, so how does it taste? Mmmmmm...lovely and creamy. Wow...this stuff's smooth and distinctly moreish. It's got a kind of pale ale taste more akin to Caffrey's than lager. Yes, we like this.

It wasn't long before the Castle beer started to have an affect. The author felt drowsy and started to nod off.

He was awoken by some major turbulence as the place bucked like a bronco in a Calgary stampede. He looked across the wing to gauge the size of the storm problem. Suddenly, looking back at him through the re-enforced glass was a bottle of Bud sporting an evil expression. For what seemed a moment carved out in eternity, the author glared out disbelieving his own eyes as to the activity of his former friends. Déjà vu! The Bud danced up and down at the window taunting the author. Beyond it he could see other Buds dancing on the actual engines. The author pressed the button above his head to hail the hostess.

A few seconds later she arrived. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" she enquired.

"Take a look outside" came the reply.

She did as asked but merely shook her head. The author glanced out again but saw nothing. As she swept away he rolled his eyes and wondered whether he was going mad.

A few minutes later and the plane jolted again. After the previous incident the author had pulled his window flap down. Now he decided to check again and looked out once more. The Buds were back and one of the engines was on fire!! He screamed for what seemed forever and then awoke for real.* It had all been a dream after all.

The plane landed safely and the author was met by his holiday rep. After a short trip he arrived at his destination. The rep sat him down in the hote
l atrium with a view to going through any prospective itinerary over the next few days. "Before we start," the rep stated. "Can I get you a beer?"

"Have you got any Castle?" came the enthusiastic reply.

"I'll check." And the rep disappeared. He duly returned a few moments later.

Once again, the author found himself frozen in a passage of seconds that stretched out for miles on a metaphorical road to nowhere. Either side of this road stood imaginary cacti of various shapes and sizes deflecting the swirling dust that epitomised the empty void of that moment in time.

"No Castle, I'm afraid sir." He stated. The author looked around nervously no longer trusting his association with his beloved bottles that had traversed oceans to be with him.

"...But we have got loads of Stella." (And you thought it was going to be Bud!)

Nice to back...haven’t been able to get onto Dooyoo since last Sunday!!

Marandina returns (a bit like Batman Returns but far less dramatic).

*Yes, the author is Bobby from Dallas.

Summary: