Product Type: Coca-Cola Soft Drink
Newest Review: ... introduced me to Coca Cola that I knew what I was missing. I have loved the stuff since the first drink. The best drink on a cold day... more
Gross Slop with an Irritating Trendy Image to Go with it
Member Name: PCLM
Date: 14/03/10, updated on 25/03/10 (36 review reads)
Advantages: It's wet
Disadvantages: Taste, consistency, after-taste, post-drink residue, trendy image
The Coca-Cola craze has passed me by, and it's not just because it seems to be something unkempt MTV viewers drink as a matter of policy; it tastes pretty horrid, too.
When I drank Coke in the past there was always a feint after-taste which reminded me of coppery blood, and my mouth was left dry and sticky either until I had another Coke or just drank some water. If you plan to quench your thirst Coke is as useful as a handful of talcum powder. The residue it leaves in your mouth is pretty unpleasant, but the almost coarse film left on your teeth leaves you feeling unclean and is undoubtedly eating away at the enamel. It doesn't seem to matter how cold or slushy with ice the drink is it just doesn't make you feel any less thirsty, which is admittedly not an expectation most people have of their soft drinks, but Coke is in a league of its own in this respect.
I've heard some ridiculous anti-Coke nonsense about how it can dissolve steak and teeth if they're left soaking in it for 24 hours, but some of the claims made against Coke are genuine and proven. For instance, Coke can clean bloodstains, it can eat the caked excrement off your toilet bowl, it can be used with tinfoil to loosen rusted bolts, the delivery vehicles carrying the drink are required to have hazardous materials warning signs on them, etc. This stuff is barely fit for human consumption!
When I was in high school a friend of mine left half a can of Coke in his locker and a few days later we checked it, and tried to pour it out - it oozed out like tar. I think Coke is fairly unique in its ability to turn itself into something a welder would invest in.
The taste, consistency and dodgy ingredients aside, the very act of drinking Coke - if its commercials are anything to go by - makes me feel like I've bought into some sort of sub-lifestyle in which intentionally messy hair, improperly dyed jeans and weasely facial hair are essential, all of which is played out over the top of irritating, whiny, manufactured softcore Indy pop. Gah!
Coca-Cola's plants in places like Columbia, where union issues are generally revolved with weaponry, have an interesting human rights record. This review is about the drink itself and not its manufacturer, but if you're interested in this angle check out http://killercoke.org/
Summary: They should have left the cocaine in it.