Proper, knife and fork milkshake (Frijj Milkshake)

Member Name: geoffcampos

Product:	Frijj Milkshake
Date:	09/03/04 (185 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: life affirming, lowers centre of gravity, legal high

Disadvantages: as if

In my experience as a lardy, there is a vast range of milk/milk-esque based drinks purporting to be milkshakes. At the stretchiest end of the definition are products like Yahoo, Yowzers and Zoinks which probably all come from the same water treatment facility and taste of sump oil with the consistency of cold tea. The more convincing members might include M&S Chocolate Milk (not strictly a milkshake, but good), McDonalds Strawberry milkshake (dependent on the mixer) and Frijj.

I'd been a Frijj fan for as long as I can remember, as memories before its discovery are meaningless. It's ergonomically Babushka bottle, the pleasing peal sealed large aperture and 'splattered with goop' decal make for an attractive pitch. Ice cold and 2 for 1 force them into my shopping basket magnetically.

One day (it is a cherished memory) there was an interloper on the Frijj shelf. It was recognizably of the Frijj clan, but had the word 'eXtreme' emblazoned on its bosom. Now, any product with the word ?extreme? is directly, cynically marketed at males as the word decries resistibility, so I was a hapless victim. Popping the top and upending the curio (in aisle 7) resulted in a fair degree of tortuous anticipation and confusion. I was a profusely sweating, gibbering mess braying like a frightened goat. Why? It took a clean ten minutes for the viscous confection to reach my gaping maw. Yes my friends, it's that thick.

Some think tanks seem to think there are a lot of attributes contributing to the presence of a good milkshake - it can get very academic. There is some truth to this, but it could easily be tosh. I think the overriding factor is thickness. Frijj eXtreme could be relocated to the cheese section. It could be sold as steaks. You could pour it onto a kids head as a bicycle helmet. It wins, it's substantial. No other milkshake will make you cry with an overwhelming wave of bereavement on it's passing like Fr
ijj extreme. I'm waiting for the
company's IPO (initial Public Offering).

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