Just one bottle and I'm outta this world and on to the La-La planet of Lager Lout land (Grolsch Premium Lager)

Member Name: jesika_jay

Product:	Grolsch Premium Lager
Date:	05/09/02 (917 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: does its job well

Disadvantages: not too tasty, but then neither are most beers

Mmm... Nothing I like more than whiling away the hours sunbathing on the deckchair in my garden, with a captivating magazine, catching up on my weekly soap goss and blaring out Blur tracks from my stereo. All this whilst taking my time over a nice long cool refreshing bottle of Grolsch Premium Lager. While everyone else is wishing time away at work! Bliss!

Well, that's what I've been doing today. The only reason I've come inside is because it's nearing Neighbours time and I thought I'd leave myself enough time just to make a point of telling everyone what an enjoyable day I've had.

Now the reason I'm so merry right at this particular moment in time is because I forgot the 'taking my time' part when sipping my bottle of Grolsch. The weekly soap goss proved way too exciting for me and as a result, I had to replace my adrenalin rush with a beer rush just to lower my heart rate.

Now I'm down to my last bottle. There were only two in the first place, but I'm a lightweight (don't tell anyone I'm drunk on one and a half bottles of Grolsch) so two's all I need. I wasn't supposed to be getting merry anyway, I just like the taste. Oh okay, I can't stand the taste. The only reason I drunk Grolsch is because there weren't any Stella's left. And I hate them too. The only reason I drink them is to get drunk. Okay, so I'm going round in circles now. I'll stop and just get to the point. Grolsch.

A little bit about Grolsch... Grolsch is a beer that originated in Holland.
"Royal Grolsch N.V. is a listed company whose traditions date back to 1615. Grolsch has its origins in the east of the Netherlands and has breweries in Enschede and Groenlo. In 2005 all activities will be concentrated in one single brewery, located nearby Enschede (Boekelo)."

If anyone has seen the adverts, they are about people always trying to rush into things before they are
ready.
Anyone seen the bank robber one where they try to rob a bank which hasn't yet been built? 'Course you have! Everyone's seen that one! Well, basically the point of that advert is to show that the brewing time of Grolsch is considerably longer than the average beer. Therefore, the taste is more refined and of better quality. Hmm... I wouldn't say it really tastes THAT nice (if I ever stumbled across a situation where I had to drink donkey pi*s, I could imagine it would taste similar to Grolsch- or any other beer for that matter.) Anyway, Grolsch takes longer than any others to brew.

About the taste... Well, if I haven't given the taste away already... No, on a serious note, Grolsch is not that bad. Compared to other beers. Tasting best chilled (don't have it any other way unless you like being sick) this beer has a bubbly and light taste, so it is relatively easy to drink, whether you're a regular beer drinker or one whose tastes are not so acquired. It is very fizzy and will make you burp. So if you are about to go out, make sure you've got some breath fresheners because these burps can come out rather smelly as I've just this moment found out...(just being honest! Honesty is the best policy, isn't it?) According to the bottle, the ideal temperature to serve Grolsch at is 6-8 degrees centigrade.

About its effects... This is a relatively strong beer at 5% vol. It doesn't sound much, but is quite a lot for a beer, as most of us are already familiar with. Now, if I'm reading correctly, this bottle I have before me is a 25 25 cl- no, that can’t be... oh sorry, that’ll be a 25 cl- bottle in quantity, which is quite small, but if you are buying from the pub rather than the supermarket, the bottles will be larger. This beer goes straight to your (my) head. I suppose it depends on how well you can take your drink as to what effect this drink will have on you, but judging by its effects
on me, it works slightly better than the average beers. Today, I am merry on just
one bottle. Usually, it takes at least 1.5 to 2 bottles on average. So I guess it does its job pretty well!

So how much does the Grolsch effect cost...? As pub prices vary so much, it would be difficult to tell you how much a bottle or pint would cost from the pubs. I've never actually bought one from a pub as I only drink it when I have nothing else to drink. But someone I knew bought one once. And I remember her being pleasantly surprised at the price- it was cheaper than most. If you are buying from the supermarket however, I can fill you in there; an eight pack of the mini bottles will cost you £5, whilst a normal sized bottle will be about £1.20.

So what have I forgot to mention? My fingers seem to be moving faster than my brain right now... please tell me if there's anything I have left out and that you would like to know about Grolsch. I now consider myself a Grolsch pundit.

Oh, wait a minute- new information overload- Grolsch's profits have been increasing every year thanks to large advertising campaigns and worldwide recognition. In 1999, when they first started selling internationally, they made a profit of £24 million rising to £27 million to £28 million in 2000 and 2001 respectively. For the year 2006, Grolsch aim to produce profits of £35 million, that's approximately 70 million bottles of Grolsch that will need to be consumed. That's about 30 million drunken louts. And that's about 5 million drunken brawls. And probably around 10 million smashed window and 6 million arrests. So...erm... get drinking folks!

If you require further information, please visit:

www.grolsch.com

They will provide you with all the facts and figures, contact information direct to their headquarters in Holland and everything else you could possibly want to know about Grolsch that I couldn't possibly tell you.


Thank you for reading and happy drinking. May your days be merry and bright!

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