Why consider anything else? (Heineken Premium Light)

Member Name: stephen_logan

Product:	Heineken Premium Light
Date:	02/02/05 (262 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good taste, just enough alcohol

Disadvantages: More expensive than others, but it makes up for that

I am a man of many tastes, as my previous reviews on alcoholic beverages would suggest. I enjoy a refreshing cider, and a cheap lager, but what about an enjoyable slightly pricier drink? I'm not a spirit man, so my dabbling tends to take me to the higher spectrum of the lager tap. Away from the Castlemain’s, the Carlings and Fosters, it’s time for a finer pint. What of Stella Artois or Hoegaarden or even Staropramen? All good on occasion, but when one beer is there it takes the choice out of my hands and into my pockets, it’s got to be a Heineken.

Whilst I don’t want to sound like Jeffery from Blue Velvet, I am oddly drawn to the green glow of a Heineken tap. It stems primarily from a holiday in Greece where they sell only 3 types of beer Amstel, Mythos (home brand) and Heineken. Prior to this trip Heineken was just a tepid ‘cold filtered’ choice on pub taps, and whilst lo-alcohol beers are good for drivers, I would rather stick to a more refined number. Having discovered that Mythos was distinctly average and Amstel was a fairly horrendous alternative, I was forced into Heineken, and this two week dedication to the drink got me a taste up. But one problem greeted me on my return, where could I get this drink on tap in this country. I soon realised that Heineken was nowhere to be found, yes you could buy the bottles, but for that 5.0% export flavour you would have to in fact export yourself to the continent.

Fortunately the good people at Heineken began to export it here on mass. The first time I discovered the cans was in a pokey corner shop in Charlton, myself and my Greek flatmate (no relation to the holiday) fell upon it in wondrous gaze. With haste I purchased 8 cans and set about devouring them with a satisfied sense of self-satisfaction. You see Heineken has a very distinct taste, it is the quintessential lager taste, like the first time you steal a bit of your dad’s beer, it is a very full and enjoyable mouthful. Other lagers can be very flat and tasteless, appearing as drinks to get drunk by, but somehow the taste of Heineken transcends this unflattering description. The difference between a Carling and a XXXX is negligible, there is a slightly crisper taste in the Carling but that is about it; but the difference between a Heineken and most other lagers is quite substantial.

To describe the taste of a lager is an unforgiving task, as all those who have had any semblance of a lager drink will know it is a fairly odd taste in itself. It isn’t fruity, you can’t taste hops and is incomparable to any other known taste. All that I can say is that as lagers go Heineken is a far fuller tasting lager, it doesn’t simply slip down to your gullet with a forced effort. It is an enjoyable experience, and fulfils all the major requirements of a good lager. Good colour, gassy and a passable amount of alcohol weighing in at the top end of the acceptable lager list with 5% (I say acceptable because extra strong lagers can get up to 9%, but at that level it is more or less a derivative of fortified wine and not a beer.)

But alas this story of affection has an even happier ending that you could expect, because for a while now the 5% has become available on tap, in your local public houses up and down the land. My first encounter came last year when the statuesque form of a Heineken tap emerged on the bar of my local Wetherspoon’s, that night I drank little else. But I am pleased to report that outbreaks of these taps are occurring all over the land, and they are becoming far more commonplace, even sprouting one in my little village. These are heady days for the lager world, and with the king of strong lagers finally spreading across the land it will soon be the drink of choice for the converted.

Many of you will have had a Heineken and a similarly high number may think that this review is perhaps a little overblown; in fact many think it is probably done as an advertising campaign. Unfortunately it is a true reflection for my dedication to this drink, there are many people who will vouch for the sense of humiliation felt when having to stand by me as I spot an unexpected tap, or cluster of cans in the supermarket. A Stella or Grolsch cannot compete with Heineken on any level (well Stella possibly has a stake in the violent after effects category I will concede that), it is of a different calibre a finer art of beer making. If it’s going to be a lager, it’s got to be a Heineken, maybe this is seen through the rose tinted eyes of a holiday romance, but I stick by it and I love it as a parent to a child. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to try this, give it a go, if you don’t like it blame me, all I can do is offer my opinion, and it is horrendously one sided. Expect to pay over £1 a can and around £2.30+ for a pint, but with that comes a guarantee of quality (not a literal one that would be madness, think metaphorically), you know what your going to get with this lager, and you know it’s going to be good.

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