CRAPPIO Cappio... (Kenco Ice Cappio Mocha)

Member Name: rachels_ratty

Product:	Kenco Ice Cappio Mocha
Date:	08/05/03 (244 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Absolutely NONE

Disadvantages: Vile, Takes an age to clean off your computer monitor....

A good friend of mine introduced me to the concept of iced coffee the first time I visited Australia. Love at first taste with this particular chilled drink soon became an addiction. Iced coffee in Australia is big business, is available in cartons in all good supermarkets and cafes and delicious. Unfortunately back in the UK there was just nothing available to satiate my cravings; this country just doesnt do iced coffee.

Then my eagle eyes spotted something unusual on the shelves at my local Morrisons in amongst the regular jars of coffee. I had caught a glimpse of something that I thought might be the answer to my heartfelt prayers. Ice Cappio from Kenco promised me "smooth coffee indulgence". Ok so I had to chill it first before consuming, it was in a can instead of a carton, there was only a paltry 200mls of drink and it cost a whopping £1.29. My hopes were high; finally I could treat myself to an iced coffee without the hassle of having to make my own! The lengths an addict has to go to satisfy her passion…

After leaving the can in the fridge all day to chill I was filled with eager anticipation. Retrieving it I settled down and gave the container a quick glance over and a good job I did. I was about to shake the can in exactly the same way I would give a carton in Aussie a quick burst of agitation. "Please do not shake" says the writing on the back. I pondered that statement for a moment or two, read the rest of the blurb on the back of the can and pretty quickly discovered why I shouldnt shake it; this metal object contains, wait for it, a widget!

Now I was a little worried. The drink I was so eager to swill around my mouth was supposed to be iced and not fizzy coffee. I was also being instructed to pour said drink into a glass after opening, for optimum results you understand. My heart was sinking by the second. Whatever happened to the open and pour down your throat method? I gripped the ring pull and t
ugged. The seal broken I heard an unmistakable bubbling accompanied by a huge hiss of escaping gases. I was now more than a little worried; I was wondering what the heck was in there!

Holding the container up to my nostrils I gave the opening a tentative sniff. The coffee aroma was strong and filled me with renewed hope. Maybe this was going to be alright after all. Not being able to resist long enough to grab a glass from the kitchen I took a swig from the can. A very weak and watery coffee tasting liquid hit my taste buds, but there was something else there, a distinct and very nasty underlying tang. I could distinctly taste something metallic. This first mouthful was half swallowed and half spat clear across my computer monitor. Fetching a cloth and a glass from the kitchen whilst swearing under my breath I resolved to try again, nothing could be that bad, surely?

Carefully and slowly I poured the beverage into the glass. It did look like coffee I have to say and the aroma given off was certainly powerful enough to re-start my salivary glands that had been somewhat stunned into inactivity by the prior assault on them. There was also a good amount of "froth" but I think that came from the fact that this is a deliberately aerated product. Taking a deep breath and saying a quick prayer I took a sip…and spat this mouthful out as well.

Theres just no way around it, this stuff really is nasty. The metallic undertone is present regardless of how you decide to drink this and is extremely unpleasant. The coffee itself is thin and watery which isnt surprising considering water is the major ingredient. Im not going to list what is in this revolting concoction, but if I say that milk and cream only constitute around thirty percent of the total liquid content I think the facts speak for themselves! The taste is only part of this nightmare of a thirst quencher. It cloys and almost sticks to the roof of your mouth and certainly doesn&
#39;t quench thirst; in fact it does the exact opposite and leaves your mouth drier than ever. I only had a few swigs of it and yet I could taste the darned stuff for hours afterwards.

Not only does this product slightly worryingly contain a widget; it is aerated, as I have previously mentioned, with nitrogen and nitrous oxide. Now the latter, for those of you who dont know, is laughing gas. My first thought when I spotted that on the can was that theres nothing remotely amusing about this abomination of a drink. My second thought was that this must have been what the Kenco bigwigs were high on when they came up with this downright awful product and they must still be chuckling to themselves that people are buying it…

Now to be fair to Kenco, I shall point out that this is sold as a coffee "flavoured" drink as I discovered when I read the small print. That said however, nowhere on the container does it say "also flavoured with something very peculiar"! Thanks Kenco, but if I become anaemic I will take iron tablets…and is there now a high chance I will rust if I come into contact with water? I do usually like Kenco coffee, its not my brand of choice but I wouldnt run screaming if I was served a cup. It was the Kenco name that grabbed me when I saw this on the shelf in the supermarket. A name I could trust not to stuff up, or so I thought.

Kenco, do yourselves a favour. Head out to Australia, see how this SHOULD be done and then try again. If thats not possible, please try and come up with something that is actually coffee ONLY flavoured.


One Rachel was severely harmed during the making of this review, the monitor made a full and complete recovery and several Kenco directors should be flogged mercilessly for putting this dire effort onto the market…

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