Lepanto, no thank you (expanded version) (Lepanto Solera Gran Reserva)

Name: MattD123

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Product:	Lepanto Solera Gran Reserva
Date:	18/07/05 (165 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Bottle makes a nice candle-holder in your local pub

Disadvantages: An expensive way to cook steaks

At the risk of getting a thoroughly deserved reputation for myself, the follow-up to my debut review on dooyoo is once again for a Spanish brandy.

There's something wrong when something as deserving of love like Cardenal Mendoza is languishing unreviewed on a site like this. I wish I could say the same of Lepanto. Sure it's getting a review but I'm no foster parent as far as this orphan's concerned. "Harsh!" I hear you shout. Maybe. But the fact is this baby's had it's chances. It's sold in Waitrose for a start. A national supermarket. Ask the assistants in that particular outlet to show you the way to the Cardenal Mendoza and you'll find yourself frog-marched out of the joint by security. You're more likely to get shown the way to amaretto.

I bought a bottle of this particular Iberian distillation at the end of last year with high expectations. Why? I don't really know. But she sure looked purty. All dressed up like a the sexiest divorcee in the village. Her pale complexion sandwiched between the gold-laced finery of her clothing and the deeper, darker passions that ran inside.

Like many fantasies made real, she proved to be a disappointment. The pale complexion belied no hidden pleasures. This siren had never wailed, she'd only bleated about the fact that the new Girls Aloud single wasn't as good as the last one. Correct me if I'm wrong but the last thing you should taste in a brandy is grapes. They may be the main ingredient but the distillation process should take you far away from that particular fruit.

In plainer, less analogous terms Lepanto seemed to have few of the characteristics that combine to make my favourite Spanish brandies. It all comes down to toffee. The versions of the drink that I like seem to have had a serious injection of caramelised sugar. I don’t mean that it’s been physically thrown in like an additive although as far as I know it might be. I suspect not though because it tastes seamless, suggesting something’s happened “naturally” in the distilling process to precipitate out those flavours out into the liquid. You’ll see in the review of Cardenal Mendoza my description of the taste focused heavily on toffee and the closely-related flavours of dried fruit (and not really raisins, I’m thinking maybe more of figs). These are trends which I have also noted in other less expensive bottles but were disappointingly missing in Lepanto. It tasted green. As I said, brandy is made of grapes but shouldn’t taste of them. When it does, the flavours separate out rather than combine to form a greater sum of their parts and who wants to wash down grapes with swigs of raw alcohol?

I'm afraid that despite the flashy attire, Lepanto ultimately came across as thin, immature and very slightly nauseating. A bit like a contender on the latest US reality show centered around a strangely-coiffeured business tycoon.

Summary: Never trust a lamb dressed as mutton