A Christmas Pressie In The Mush (Marks & Spencer Finest Port)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Marks & Spencer Finest Port
Date:	15/01/02 (347 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Classy port from a reliable source

Disadvantages: This particular product is not available on the Net

Have you ever felt smug about a Christmas present only to find that the recipient didn’t like it after all? Well, that’s what happened to me on Christmas day. The problem, you see, is that my brother is a difficult man to buy for. If he doesn’t like something, he’ll tell you. The gift has to have a certain "class" (pronounced clarse) or it soon becomes a shunned eyesore and finds it’s way onto the next available White Elephant stall. So this year I bought him some port and Stilton from good old Marks & Spencers.

December 25th and I’m driving up the M1. "Mr Blue Sky" by ELO is playing on Classic Gold reflecting the colour of the..erm...white sky that looks full of snow. Smugness is always a dangerous trait so when I marched in through my mom’s door on Chrimbo day, all ready for Xmas din dins, one of my first questions was "Did you like your presents then?". Expecting a universal barrage of praise I readied myself. OK, let’s play this one cool and just say, "Hey, it was nothing" but instead "He doesn’t like port. I thought you knew that?" (Mom) "No, I’ve never liked port!" (Bro’). You need to know ma bro’ is a big lad and when he’s not HP then you soon know. *In fact, he’s so big that Columbus once assessed him for an attempted circumnavigation but decided against it.

How d’ya get out of that one then? Well, I thought I’d try and sell it to him. So first of all I threw the history and interesting facts about Port at him. Well, did you know that...

...Port is a fortified wine made in Portugal from grapes grown in the Douro valley; Portuguese law allows only this wine to be called port. The growers blend various grapes, and brandy is added before fermentation is complete. In the spring the casks are brought to Oporto and Villa Nova, where the wines are blended and stored. Vintage port is wi
ne of an exceptional year, kept in cask for two or three years, then matured in bottles—much of it for 25 years. Ruby port, generally a blend of wines of different vintages, is stored in wood and bottled before it loses its clear, red colour. Tawny port remains longer in the cask, losing some colour and alcohol. Crusted port is vintage or ruby port kept in bottles until it has formed a crustlike sediment. So-called white port is a sweet, amber-coloured port matured in wood. Port is sometimes artificially coloured with caramelised wine or berry juice.

Please note, also, that port is a traditional after dinner drink that probably comes under the same category as brandy. So after a hard days slog, what better than to put yer feet up, ease your slippers on and sip a clarsey glarse of port?

Unfortunately, he’d switched off half way through and instead had taken to watching the TV. Hmmm...what else? Right..it’s from M & S so it’s great quality. This is a vintage character port from the finest demarcated vineyards surrounding the village of Pinhao, in the heart of the Douro valley of Northern Portugal. A shift of the feet and a disinterested glance. Hmmm..it’s made from the principal grape varieties Touriga Nacional, Touriga Francesa, Tinta Barroca and Tinta Roriz. "Is dinner ready yet, mom?" It comes in a classy 75cl bottle and it’s 20% alcohol by volume. Even has a spare stopper and don’t forget the tub of Stilton.

This horse was, by now, flogged and decidedly tired. Feeling a little peeved having survived the ordeal of Christmas shopping in M & S (I still wake up in cold sweats at the thought of those old ladies with specially sharpened elbows and suitably poor vision); I gave up and took it back. So a few minutes later I’d been to the cashpoint and handed over the cash equivalent instead. "That’ll come in handy. I’m off to Manchester tomorrow to watch **The Albion"
;.

So it came to pass that I ended up with the port and Stilton myself. I have to say the port is lovely but the Stilton is a bit too much for me. It tastes like strong soap and I’m sure it's destroyed most of the protecting white cells in my tummy (felt like it was having a right old knees up in there).

If you are a port drinker then, rather than enduring M & S, there are a number of decent port dealers on The Net. You could try OportoWines.com, which has a welcoming page and deals in all manner of port. You can purchase all different varieties and there’s a large selection of books to buy if you want to become an aficionado on the subject. There is a marksandspencer.co.uk but the range of items available was limited and didn’t include this particular one.

Needless to say, more research will go into next years pressies and, now that I’ve discovered the power of consumer sites, I’ll know where to look. Hope you had more luck this Christmas than I?

This is based on a true story and the identity of none of the parties has been protected.

*Only joshing. He’s a smashing lad and a great uncle to my kids (just in case he reads this).

**WBA = West Bromwich Albion – a first division footie team from Yam Yam land in the Black Country

Summary: