Fancy a cup of P*ss anyone (Maxwell House)

Member Name: deano76

Product:	Maxwell House
Date:	12/07/02 (149 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Errrm, OOOH, , Ahhhh,

Disadvantages: Everything

If you are one of those unsavoury characters like me, that gets up in the morning and can't really be classed as a life form unless you have had your caffeine injection, then there is no doubt that you will be able to associate with this opinion.

Here is my usual morning ritual:

Open my eyes half dead and mumble some unpronounceable mumbo jumbo.

Throw one of my trainers at the bedroom window to scare off that annoying sparrow that can chirp for England.

Drag my sorry carcass to the bathroom where I proceed to the wash, splash and scrub various parts of my head and body.

Shuffle into the kitchen and switch on the kettle.

Sit on the sofa with one eye closed still unsure of what planet I am on.

Return to the kitchen and finish making my hot cup of strong caffeine.

Now, I usually will only drink one brand of coffee which is the most popular, Nescafe.
But last week at Morrisons, there was a buy one get one free offer on Maxwell house. OOH! I thought, two large jars for the price of one, and into my trolley they went.

Now I didn't realise until I got back home that my new coffee was ground in powder form and not at all like Nescafe's granuals.

Oh well, Maxwell house is a well known brand name so it must still be a quality cuppa. How wrong I was, I made myself a cup to try it out and the first thing I noticed was the unsightly froth which floated on the top of my cup.
UGH! It seriously looked like someone had intentionally gobbed into my cuppa.

Nevertheless, I took it into the living room and waited for it to cool.
Then I put it to my mouth and sipped it generously.
The taste? Well, to put it mildly I have swallowed tastier bath water.

This stuff is the blandest coffee that I have ever had the displeasure of tasting, I'm sorry Mr Maxwell House but to put it in the nicest possible way, your coffee sucks.

On the brightly colour
ed quite attractive light blue jar, the words Indulgently smooth are proudly inscribed. What an insult, it should read something like Repugnantly S**TE.
This stuff would normally rob you of a few pennies short of £3 for a large 300g jar.
I'm not surprised it was on special offer, as, having tasted the stuff, I wouldn't have a jar given.

I am so cheesed off with this, as I now own two large jars of Maxwell grouse which I will never use.
Apparently, It comes in a wide range of flavours like,

SLOW ROAST

FRENCH ROAST

and MASTER BLEND.

I for one, won't be trying them out.
If you like your coffee to be full of flavour with a decent caffeine kick then stick to Nescafe, if however, you enjoy the taste which would probably resemble sucking on the groinal area of a homeless man's dirty boxer shorts, then by all means try Maxwell House.

(Quick message to whom it may concern, No, I haven't sucked on a homeless mans boxer shorts before, my description is meant only as a metaphor)

Thanx for the read.

DEANO!

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