Mud, Spit and Dandruff (Maxwell House)

Member Name: wampyrii

Product:	Maxwell House
Date:	12/10/02 (156 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Umm...apparently Teddy Roosevelt liked it..., ...of course that was 100 years ago and they still use his words of recommendation...., ...probably because they've had none since

Disadvantages: Weak muddy puddily taste, powdery texture lingers, looks like someone spat in the mug(well it does)

If you're looking for completist pants containing the history of coffee, expert pouring practices and an illustrated timeline of Maxwell House through the ages then look elsewhere, because I really have only one thing to say to a consumer and this is it:

**Maxwell House's powdered instant coffee is bloody revolting**

In fact, I would go so far as saying it's the worst coffee on the supermarket shelves. Not that I'm any kind of expert of course, in fact, until I tried this brand I thought all coffees were all pretty similar, some just a little stronger or weaker in flavour so I didn't pay much attention to what I was buying. If it's hot, tastes good and gives me a caffeine fix in the morning then it's fine by me and I stupily thought anything going by the name 'coffee' would fulfill that need. Well, a coffee bean is a coffee bean isn't it? A very reasonable assumption I'd say, but Maxwell House manage to do something to their coffee which makes it stand apart from the crowd...apart and at least 10 paces behind. I tend to buy Nescafe or Carte Noir most often, no idea why, force of habit I assume although I prefer Carte Noir of the two. Anyway, on one trip to my local Tesco store I noticed Maxwell House coffee was being offered in a 2 for 1 deal and thinking all coffee is virtually the same, give or take a degree or two of strength, I bought 4 jars. Well, coffee isn't cheap is it and 2 for 1 is a good deal. Or at least it would have been as now I'm stuck with 4 jars which will probably do nothing more than take up cupboard room for the next 10 years..or be offered around to unwelcome house guests... ;o)

The first thing I noticed from this powdered coffee was that after pouring the water into the cup you're left with a cuppa which looks it may have been made by Baldrick's World War I recipe. Those who love Blackadder will know what I mean, those who don't...it looks like someone
spat heartily into a mug full of watery mud and added a little dandruff as a sugar substitute. Unfortunately, it TASTES like someone spat into some watery mud and dandruff too! It truly is foul. The flavour is incredibly weak, giving you a mug of what tastes distinctly like boiled water, with a little 'something' added to it...that 'something' being vaguely coffee-like in smell but just 'muddy' in flavour. It's exactly what I'd imagine a muddy puddle to taste like except the coffee powder lingers so your cuppa retains a powdery texture which leaves your mouth feeling dry and nasty and you feeling in need of something else to drink. Something NOT made by Maxwell House. Spinning around on the top, looking for all intents and purposes like Baldrick has added extra 'milk' is a nasty lot of froth. It's truly revolting.

Needless to say, it's not a coffee I would ever find it within myself to recommend to anyone, not even to offload the 4 jars I now find myself lumbered with because it has absolutely no redeeming features at all. I like coffee to taste like coffee, foolishly I believed until I tried this one, that it all did so but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'll be sticking to the Nescafe and Carte Noir from now onwards and at around £3 for a 200g jar(although seemingly ALWAYS on offer in some shape or form) it amazes me that anyone at all buys this crap.

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