Booze up in the Back of Beyond (Other African Beers)

Member Name: Otjiwarotji

Product:	Other African Beers
Date:	30/10/01 (116 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Tafel beer is great for drinking sessions in the desert, cheap and refreshing

Disadvantages: As far as I know you can only buy it in Namibia

After a completely fantastic morning seal watching at Cape Cross in Namibia the journey back to Swakopmund was bound to be a bit of an anti climax, after all there is only one road there and one road back and we had just about seen all of the nothingness there is to see. However I'm delighted to say it wasn't as dull as we may have imagined it was going to be. And if you think this isn't about beer, be patient and bear with me!

First we stopped to admire the large mountains of snow. SNOW in Africa? at the edge of the sea, near the Skeleton coast? Ok they weren't snow at all but you'd be forgiven for thinking they were. Huge, sparkling and white, even when you left the car and walked right up to them they looked like snow, touch them, they felt like snow, the hard, frozen crusty sort which has been hanging around for days in the cold trying to pluck up the courage to go ahead and melt, but put your fingers near your mouth and you soon realise it's salt.

Salt is one of few natural resources mined near the coast in Namibia, Oh apart from diamonds, quartz, amethysts and a multitude of precious gems, so why did we come to look at salt you ask, well it looks really impressive, you can see where they have dug hollows in the sandy soil and they have filled with sea water forming small lakes, you can pick up huge chunks of it and see how it is formed from lots of salt crystals you can find pink salt too and pieces of it make a lovely souvenir to add to the growing pile of bits of Namibia we had collected to bring back home to England to remind us of our trip.

So that was the salt mountains then and back into the car to mosey up the coast again.
We were all in high spirits, still getting to know each other. These penpals from the opposite side of the world had a lot to say and only 3 short weeks to say it in, even though we had already told each other our life stories by e-mail before this meeting. But I was still gobsm
acked by the seals, a little jet lagged still and Heila and Gundi were constantly trying to make sure we were enjoying ourselves, in fact if I fell silent for more than 3 seconds they would ask " why have you gone so quiet? aren't you enjoying yourself?" They just wanted to make sure we enjoyed every single second of this once in a lifetime trip and they wanted us to tell them what we were thinking and feeling, I think they had the daft idea that we might not be enjoying it ... when in fact we were just totally overawed and completely lost for words to describe how brilliant it all was.

But there are only so many times you can say "WOW" or " Fantastic" or "Brilliant" and I wanted just a few minutes to contemplate and get my head round all we had seen and done since our arrival, and my throat was dry with the salt air and I was thirsty with the heat and then I saw it, after mile upon mile of uninhabited desert scrub and salt road, a sign, by the roadside saying "Cold Tafel beer sold here" ...."Beer" I murmured huskily, then a little louder "COLD beer, look" and there was a windblown sand blasted wooden sign pointing off to the right, into the desert, Fishermans Inn it said.

Give Heila her due, she stopped almost immediately, well we had passed the sign by then but she pulled over and reversed back to where the sign was, nothing being too much trouble for her foreign guests from England " You want to go have a beer?" she asked.


By then I had had a chance to peer around and to be honest I couldn't see any quaint Fishermans Inn, I couldn't see anything much apart from, quite a distance away a low rusty metal shack kind of thing. "Oh it doesn't matter" I said feeling absurdly like an alcoholic at suggesting going for a beer. Pub culture in Namibia has yet to catch on like it is here in England. Then I looked again at this dreadful lo
oking dump of a place in the absolute middle of nowhere and thought, it might be a laugh, I had wanted this holiday to show me something different to the usual package deal and this was sure to be memorable. If nothing else. I could always say I'd been to one of the remotest pubs in the world!

However by the look of it I might also be able to say I'd been to one of the roughest pubs, the shabbiest Inns in fact it looked as if it could be a real seedy dive and I began to look forward to the experience. At this point we decided that this would make a good shot for our video, if I got out of the car and headed for the watering hole in the desert, on foot.

So I clambered out of the car, while Heila climbed out of the driving seat fumbled for the camcorder (this video was to be HER masterpiece, and hers alone) Gundi climbed over the fridge and got in the driving seat and Brian and Vaughn's expressions through the rear windows, clearly said "Women!!"

I set off along this sandy dusty track, trying to look as if I was hot and exhausted and in dire need of a drink (I didn't need to act for this effect) and shading my eyes with my hand peering towards the shack on the shimmering hazy horizon, I did it really well, I think I probably looked like Greta Garbo and began to stagger uncertainly towards the Inn, I was doing really well here, in fact maybe I would become an actress when we got home .... Until Heila cried "Hey, not so fast, come back, I haven't switched it on yet!"


So, what we do have on video, is me scowling, stomping off up the track muttering, while Heilas shadow clearly holding a camcorder, follows me unsteadily and the car keeps drawing level and then I disappear off the film as Heila turns round, shouting at Gundi not to drive so fast, we are FILMING if you don't mind, and her voice is deafening on the film destroying any illusions that I am lost in the desert. Eventually we b
oth get back in the car.

Then we arrive at the dismal building and all is quiet, the desert winds howl, a cat scratches itself lazily and looks at us and we open the door....
Oh WHAT a disappointment,
What a tragedy ....
It's absolutely BEAUTIFUL !!!


It is amazing, this shabby little shack is in fact a very large bar which runs right down the middle of the building, at one side is the bar, there are lots of tables and chairs some comfy armchairs and in the middle ... is a garden! A huge indoor tropical garden with cacti, and flowers and vines and orchids in bloom and a tree in the middle. I am stunned, we are all stunned, it is so pretty, so unexpected, so much not in keeping with the outside, yet perversely I am a little chagrined, I wanted it to be a dirty smelly dump, because thats what I had told myself it was going to be and I had been cheated of all the stories I was going to be able to tell about the dump in the back of beyond.

We all peered around us, the place was deserted, was this the Marie Celeste of the desert?
A face appears at one of the many doors which are at each side of the huge room and a mans voice tells us "I've been waiting for you to arrive, welcome" and he ushers us into his living quarters, pointing out of the huge picture window, telling us he watched us pull up, leap in and out of the car and then approach, he is never taken by surprise he can see customers arriving, ages before they get there. He asks us if we will do him a favour when we leave, the other notice he has put outside facing the opposite direction has fallen (explaining why we didn't notice this place on our way to Cape Cross) and will we stand it back up as we go?

He discovers that two of us are English and we are given the guided tour, first of his spacious, beutifully furnished home, then into the bar, where he serves us with drinks, Gundi and young Vaughn opting for cool soft drinks, Gundi
has volunteered to do the remainder of the driving when we leave as Heila stares longingly at the cool Tafel beers lined up. We sit on bar stools and chat to this lovely, friendly man whose name is John, who puts music on for us, his only patrons.

We drink our beers while he tells us that although it can be difficult making a living in such a remote spot he gets quite a lot of overseas visitors in addition to his main clientele, the fishermen and women who frequent this coastal area for its fine fresh fish. We tell him that although we had been fishing the previous day we failed to catch any Galjoen fish which we had never tasted and they so much wanted us to try. So he dissappears for a minute or two and comes back bearing a HUGE frozen Galjoen which he caught himself and insists on presenting to us as a gift, big smiles all round and another beer each is purchasesd, the first remarkably having suddenly disappeared.

Tafel beer is a popular local beer in Namibia, along with Windhoek lager, they are both lager beers and very refreshing in the heat of this country, drunk almost as we at home would drink a soft drink to refresh, to quench thirst, not primarily to get drunk (God forbid ) John prsents Brian and Heila with a souvenir Tafel beer bottle opener each, just one more thing to add to the souvenir pile, I will need another suitcase the rate we are collecting memorabilia!

I decide I must go to the toilet and when I get there I shout the others to come and see,
it is a bathroom fit for a movie star with every single thing a tired and dusty traveller might possibly need, from a range of cosmetics and toiletries thats would stock a small branch of Boots, to vast fluffy towels, sun lotions, a bath and shower. He tells us he rents out rooms and then we get the guided tour of the guest accommodation, big comfy rooms well furnished and appointed including one with the most enormous bed, big enough to take all five of us if we felt so in
clined.

We look around a bit more, have a chat to the resident parrots and read the walls.... yes I did say read the walls! The walls are plain white made of large bricks many of which have been signed by visitors, we see messages from Germans, Russians, French, South African, Lithuanian and yes British guests too, and then we ask can we have a brick too!

We pay a small sum for our own brick and then we have fun deciding what to write, and another beer each slides down our throats, we get out the camcorder and the camera and our scribblings are saved for posterity and we leave our mark forever in the back of beyond, evidence that we were there and we all swear one day we will all return. We are so happy, having such a great time, the feeling of overwhelming joy of being together, being on holiday, being in such a wonderful country with time to explore and general Joie de Vivre surrounds us all like a mantle.

I look around again, there is so much to see in this place, there is a display on a table of locally mined minerals and semi-precious gems, beautiful natural chunks of amethyst, tigers eye, Carnelian, smokey quartz and I spot some huge plastic bags of natural, tumbled and polished stones, I really must have a souvenir from here and I look at the small label on a bag the size of a large loaf, full of amethysts and see the price is N$50, hang on thats .....
£5, no it can't be, but it is, I buy a bag of amethysts and a bag the same size of mixed gems and hand over my £10, I can barely believe it.

As I pay John and ask why they are so cheap he tells me they are just the small stones (although some are the size of a walnut) and not the best and he goes away and comes back with his own private collection of better, larger gemstones spreading them on the bar for us to see, asking which I like the best, a lovely chunk of smokey quartz catches my eye and I admire these truly magnificent natural resources taken from the land c
hoosing 5 or 6 I like the best and he gives them to me, with a big smile, to add to my collection !!

All too soon we realise that to reach Swakopmund before dark we must leave this little Oasis in the desert, much as we would have liked to rent a room and stay there a while longer and rather unsteadily we wander out to the car and the desert wind hits us and we pile into the vehicle giggling like lunatics, we are pissed as farts, yet we have only had a few beers, maybe they are stronger than I first thought, yet we are drunk, mainly on happiness after such a great day and the Tafel beer and the fresh air has knocked us all for six.

I unsteadily get out of the car at the end of the dirt road and stand his sign up and we all wave good bye and set off up the road to Swakop, first we decide to have a sing song, then I decide I need a wee. When we first arrived here Heila told me that as toilets are few and far between, on a long journey you just pull your vehicle safely to the roadside and opening the door wide squat in the gutter, do whats necessary and drive off, I am appalled, I am disgusted, I am English, I will burst rather than do that!...

So we pull over at the side of the road and discover that its really rather easy to manage this business, even slightly squiffy with a car load of people turning their faces away and falling about laughing as I am unable to stop and the sound of a small river forming in the desert amuses everyone!

Back in the car we turn on the radio and listen to the local radio station where a friend of Heila and Gundi works as a dj and we listen to her show and she is taking requests and it seems the perfect ending to this great day, to have a dedication played, so Heila gets on her mobile phone and rings the station. Of course its frowned upon to give priority to friends for dedications so her dj friend promises to give us a mention but it will be slightly disguised so nobody realises, except us, who i
ts for! Then we think what a shame we can't tape it to keep and have the bright idea to switch on the camcorder. Sure enough a lovely dedication follows which is clearly for us though no specific names are mentioned and we have it on tape.

We will be able to listen to it whenever we want and it will always bring back memories of our wonderful Booze up in the back of beyond.

But when we eventually are to view our magnificent video of our trip, what do you suppose follows the clip of us signing our brick?????

Ten WHOLE MINUTES of us in the car waiting for our dedication, lovingly filmed by Heila with the viewfinder carefully focussed on .....
The scenery???
The Road????
Us??????
No it is a carefully shot picture of the car radio, as we wait for our dedication, our voices clearly heard in the car as Heila patiently waits for our mention and we eventually hear our dedication broadcast .... to a film of a car radio and we could have been anywhere on earth.
But we know we had just had the best booze up ever at a little bar on the Swakopmund coast.

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