"Dear Mr Sherman of Camp Granada, please call the Halifax Monkeys back" (Relentless)

Member Name: iamasadlittleboy

Product:	Relentless
Date:	13/08/09 (27 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I feel like I'm flying...

Disadvantages: ...oh no I meant Dying

On Monday I was having sleep problems and it dragged over to Tuesday, I' had 3 hours sleep in 65 hours, not a great recipe to go to work with. I was effectively starting the day on fumes and had nothing left to give so I, like a zombie, approached a can of Relentless (they were on offer) hoping this would keep me awake through the day (it was the green one if anyone cares). At work I talk to a LOT of answering machines, if you have a Halifax credit card and get a guy asking you to call the Halifax back whilst yawning that is me, I'm in the position of being a bright but lazy guy, in a job where my poor brain is under used and falls to sleep at the best of times. Nodding off at work isn't just something I tend to do after an all nighter, it's a battle to stay away during 8 hours of answering machines.

So Relentless was selling at 2 for £2 or 1 @ £1.17 each, I felt tired enough for 2 energy drinks so got the pair with the hope they'd save the day (and as much as I fear saying this, my job) having had the first one about 3 hours into my working day I underwent some really weird experiences.

The can was a forest scene of light green, in a can contain 500 ml of some bizarre coloured stuff (you could see an almighty orange from the opening in the top of the can). The smell was repulsive and strong, like someone had added a lot to it and it smelt almost as bad as it was strong looking. On the lips it tingled, it was alive in the mouth, a rather bizarre and nasty taste which tries to combine too many flavours into a rather poor combination.

Now this is where my (genuine) hand written notes from work start to fail me, after I had a mouthful my notes became unreadable, they became like that of a child with a pen before they have learnt to write. I had devolved into nothing more than a marsupial brain pig finger bumbling buffoon, that made for a weird evening.

I started becoming even more weary, I swear I passed out only to find myself saying things along the lines of "Please call the Halifax Monkeys back on 0845 604 4431" (the number we are to give answer phones), I heard my self mention "between the hours of 8:30 to god time bed with me" in an almost out of body experience. This was worrying, I couldn't feel my hands, my head was spinning my typing became (we need to note the Halifax systems) like that of a guy who's just neck a bottle of Vodka. This was a nightmare, I'd done double all nighters in the past, I'd been fatigued and knackered in the past but I'd never had the drink before, this seemed to have something else in it. The drink was messing with my mind and my body, and not in a good kind of way. I got as far as to have an argument with myself on someone answering phone, thankfully everyone else is so drone like their they didn't realise the argument I was having was with myself, they must have assumed it was a customer.

I realised having a second can wouldn't have been a bright idea so I left it, in all it's hallucination mind altering ways in my bad for another day. Upon hearing an answer phone playing "Camp Granada" by Allan Sherman I think that was it, I'd lost it. The drink had messed me up to the extent I though I was in a sitcom from the 1960's.

Stay away from it, it messes with your head.

Summary: ...A drink to stay away from