Barman, a pint of Monkey Water, please... (Wells Banana Bread Beer)

Member Name: The Operator

Product:	Wells Banana Bread Beer
Date:	24/01/03 (397 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A full pint in every bottle

Disadvantages: Very sweet.

Picture the scene:

We’re sat together, looking across the lush garden at the deep azure sky striated peach and salmon by the dying embers of a summer sun. I turn towards her and suggest we partake of some refreshment; something fitting, summery and fruity to remind us of the summer we almost never had.

“We can share that bottle you bought yesterday. And then we can write an opinion each on it”

“Me? Share? No way. Listen here. You’re now an established and richly rewarded beer writer and you got that through sharing just one bottle. No, you want to write an opinion on it, you’ve got to drink a whole bottle.” The Operator doesn’t share his beer. Especially when he sees lemonade poured in it.

Foolish words. So I hared off down to Morrisons where they had this rather peculiarly named concoction on special offer at the enticing price of £1.49 per 568ml bottle. Get that, traditionalists? That’s 568ml. Look at your bottle of milk and you’ll see exactly the same numbers written on it. Yes yes! A whole pint of beer in a bottle. £1.49 eh? When was the last time you saw that price for a pint in a pub outside of happy hour? Even then you probably only get a dull old watery John Smiths or Stones, and that probably out of a tin. Me? Annoyed? Never. Anyway, they only had one left, so I took it. Must be popular, I thought or else the good people of Crewe are a bit precious with their money. At least we now had one each so, look out for another opinion on this one day and you be the judges.

Good news then, because it’s the former reason. That’s popularity by the way; thought I might have lost you there. Charles Wells’ Banana Bread Beer is a nice beer. Not sickly sweet I want to be your bestest friend nice but nice in a different, “hey come and have chat over here” kind of way. I must admit, I was a little intrigued by the name. I’d al

ways associated Charles Wells with the venerable old “Bombardier”, an unassuming but reliable staple of many a pub, especially around these parts for some reason, even though it’s brewed 150 miles away in Bedford. I’d never thought of them as being in the least bit exotic. So it was with just a little trepidation that I opened the bottle the other night.

First the bottle. It’s standard dark brown with a chocolate brown and gold label with minimal information on. The bottle though, is quite distinctive. It has an embossed design depicting stylised bunches of bananas. At least that’s what I think it is. Lever the top off and straight away you’re greeted by the unmistakable waft of Britain’s favourite fruit. That’s bananas, obviously. Didn’t you know? It’s not glacé cherries or passion fruit. Or durian even, which would be quite revolting as it’s supposedly the most off-putting smell of anything meant to be edible. No, this is definitely very enticing in a most bananary way. No hint of them in the colour though, which is splendidly beery golden-brown and depending on how you pour it, is topped off with a slight foamy head. Now, please, settle down. I’m not going to do anything about bananas with foamy heads. Or shandy jokes, either. This is meant to be serious.

So we’ve held it up to the light to judge the colour, sniffed it for bouquet and on both counts it’s passed muster. Now for the important bit; it tastes a bit like beer with um…(adopts squeaky and apologetic tone here)…bananas in. There’s also a bit of caramel there, or burnt sugar if you care. You can’t really tell if the beer is a quality one because the overwhelming taste is fruity but there is certainly an ale lurking there somewhere as you get the maltiness. It’s also quite sweet which may prove to be a bit off-putting to some. I find very malty beers to be inherentl
y swe
et anyway and the banana seems to layer on the sweetness with a trowel. It is though, quite crisp on the palate, which is quite refreshing.

I left it for a while to go and do something else and came back several minutes later. Surprisingly, it tasted better and the finish was a touch more dry so you didn’t get that overwhelmingly tropical flavour lingering. The ale had also come through a bit more and as such was more in harmony with the fruit flavours so I’d recommend that you let it stand for a few minutes before diving in. Unless like me, you couldn’t resist it. Not sure it would go particularly well with food though. Maybe as an aperitif or an after dinner quaff but not alongside a meal.

Want some more? The bananas used are fairtrade ones so you can feel justifiably sanctimonious if any of your trendy friends accuse you of ripping off third world fruit producers for the sake of something different.

A visit to the Charles Wells website (www.charleswells.co.uk) reveals a bit of a clanger. It states that it’s 4.5% abv but the bottle says 5.5%. Can’t help you there so I’ll probably have to do some kind of controlled testing over a few days with some other 5.5% product and see which one makes me fall over first. Interestingly enough, the site also says that Charles Wells brew Jamaican Red Stripe, beloved of cricket fans all over South London; that tandoori house staple, Cobra and the cunning Kirin all under license. Regarding the latter, it’s one of only three breweries outside Japan allowed to brew the fabled rice beer and should be testament to the high regard in which the company is held by its peers.

So then. I think that’s about all I can say about it. Here come the summing up clichés; it’s nice and friendly, refreshingly different, juicy fruity and very welcome here chez Shazzy and Operator. Go buy if you fancy a change.

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A
uthor's note: As this was written some time ago in anticipation of the category appearing and as I've only just found it (Dooyoo's painfully slow around these parts), the financial information may well be a few p out. Sorry. I really am sorry. Very.