Product Type: Hasbro Fancy Dress
Newest Review: ... me when I'm angry!' (There are several other sound effects that don't come supplied but generally accompany this toy too - tears, 'get ... more
Hasbro Hulk Fists, not a marital aid.
Hasbro Hulk Gamma Rage Hands
Member Name: lockNload
Hasbro Hulk Gamma Rage Hands
Advantages: Awesome, seriously.
Disadvantages: you may just give someone a concussion.
As I came to, I gazed up at the circle of faces surrounding me, trying to make out their voices- four unfamiliar and only one I recognised, that of my friend, that of the person who had put me here. The cool, conditioned air of the Toys 'R' Us Store Managers' office, and the hard floor beneath me, was relieving to me. I took a deep breath and tried to sit up. "Are you okay, Sir?" came a voice that I could only later attribute to the Store Manager. "Yes, yes I think so". My voice trembled as only it can after a traumatic event. "What Happened? The last thing I remember is being hit with a large green fist."
This is not, in actual fact, an extract from the new Stephen King novel, rather, this is an excerpt from a true life anecdote that actually occurred in my life. And what this illustrates is not that I am a massive wuss, with a glass jaw, but the main problem with this (so called) toy.
Now, I am not for one second implying that these Hulk Fists are not awesome, because they are, in every single way- from their detailed decoration, with cool looking veins, which gives the wearer an all-to-real hulk experience, to the growling and smashing sound effects that are bash sensitive. They are even about 35X20cm, plenty big enough for an adult hand, and extremely well made, able to put up with lots of punishment. Plus, RRPing at around £30, well worth the money.
Rather, it is the very fact that these Hulk Hands are so awesome that the problem with them arises. Slipping into these Hulk Hands make punching things so good that you just don't want to stop... and you don't. Putting these on in Toys 'R' Us almost sent me into a full on frenzy, I was punching everything, toys, puzzles, even the giant Easter-Egg wall. However, this is still not the problem, the Hulk Hands are lined with plenty of foam, a good 4 inches, so mothers needn't worry about walls, or furniture being damaged. But, it is not inanimate objects anyone around a Hulk glove wearer should worry about.
The fact is, in these Hands, you will punch anything: walls, cars... people. Yes, People! And this is the crux of our grave problem, someone wearing the Hulk hands is not themselves, your little Timmy is not little Timmy anymore, he is the bloody Hulk, in his mind anyway- and that is the only thing that matters when Hulk Hands are involved. Don't believe me? Then let us revisit my anecdote from earlier, there I was in Toys 'R' Us with my friend John looking at the Hulk Hands we'd seen advertised. So we put them on, we both felt great. We were having a wonderful time just punching Barbies, when things changed. I could hear my friend getting more and more worked up beside me, and as I turned to look at him, my smile of delight was quickly replaced by a look of terror. Facing me, I could see it in his eyes. Their normal blueish colour just wasn't there anymore, replaced by a strange green. He was advancing on me. "John?" I offered. "John, don't!" But he wasn't John anymore. He was the Hulk.
Hit in the face, I fell down, my head striking the hard floor. I woke up later in the Managers Office, carried there by security, apparently. And this is the problem. Now you might feel that this is a little exaggerated, or a result of my own personal weakness, but you'd be wrong, partly anyway. These Hands really do promote anger and even violence, and the layer of foam- although thick enough for a wall- is just not thick enough for a skull. And being aimed at little boys, like they are, this is a very worrying problem. So, if you are a mother considering buying these for your son, I urge you whole heartedly not to- unless you want to see him being coaxed down off the roof of a skyscraper by police, with a trail of punched destruction behind him, that is. They are awesome though...
Summary: you reall wont like someone when theyre angry.
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