DKNY, I love you, I love you not. (DKNY)

Member Name: peel.rebekah

Product:	DKNY
Date:	07/03/01 (1032 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Blindingly beautiful clothes

Disadvantages: The staff

I crave Donna Karen; not the sports wear (Active), not the Jeans collection, not even the underwear - I am in love with DKNY's Pure range and my bank statements prove it in big red writing.

DKNY was founded in 1984 and has become uniform for label lovers; Karen also introduced a baby and kids line, just to capture that younger audience, and although I just adore the baby wear, I can't bring myself to part with sixty pounds for a pair of trainers that my little one will outgrow in a month.

But I digress.

I love DKNY's Pure range with a vengeance, and when I was hunting for an 'alternative' wedding dress, my first stop was at the DKNY section of my local boutique. I was absolutely elated when I found THE PERFECT dress: Off white (oatmeal), skirt to the floor, in a wool and angora mix (my wedding was in Scotland in November and I had no desire to wear thermal undies) and at quite a reasonable price (350 quid, which compares well with the prices of real wedding dresses). NOT so impressed was I when I saw that they only had the dress in American size 4 and 6 (8 and 10), as after having my son (and still feeding him myself), I was a 'womanly' size 14. Not to be put off, as I knew that DK comes in larger sizes for the American market, I inquired to whether I could order the right size. The sales assistant seemed a little shifty and told me that this was in no way possible - I found out later that they were not legitimate sellers for this line of clothes - but to order it from the DKNY headquarters in London, or to try Harrods, Harvey Nicks and Selfridges.

First phone call to DKNY, end of August, 2000: Sorry, not possible, we may be receiving a wider range of stock in a couple of weeks, so call back.

Phone call to Harrods, end of August: Yes we have the dress, but only in sizes 6 and 8 (10 and 12). We do have a British size 14 in black though (I was tempted, but the disproving face of my mother flash
ed before me), but you can order it from DKNY, no problem.

Phone call to Harvey Nicholls, end of August: Same story - but you can, of course, order it from DKNY.

Phone calls to Selfridges and smaller outlets, end of August: Ditto.

Second phone call to DKNY: Well, you must really want this dress (of course I bleedin' do, otherwise I wouldn't be calling would I?), I'll see what I can do and I'll call you back.

No phone call for a week and so a third phone call to DKNY: We've ordered a dress from one of our warehouses in America, it should arrive in the next couple of days. We will call you then.

Guess what? No phone call for another week. So, mid September, I contacted them again to be told that the dress had definitely been sent, they were, after all, professionals.

End of September and still no dress. I'm a calm person, so I was still in the trust that the dress would arrive and that I wasn't being fed a whole load of baloney. Another phone call and ah, there seems to be a problem, we can't get an export license for the dress.

I re-phoned all the other stockists, and still no joy, so, in my sorrow, I started looking for another dress.

Half way through October, DKNY contacted ME, saying that they had found a way around the license problems and did I still want the dress?
OF COURSE, said I, and so it was supposedly put in the post that very afternoon.

By this point I had two reserve dresses, neither of which I liked that much, but hey, I couldn't go naked to my own wedding.

After another thirty to forty phone calls and the said package failing to arrive, I asked a friend of mine to intervene - she's a make-up artist for TV (television, NOT transvestites) and films. She gave them a big, steaming pile of manure on how this was a society wedding, that she needed the dress to do her colour charts and that the press release was all ready t
o go, so could they please get their behinds in gear.

My wedding was on the 25th of November, this conversation took place on the 10th. OK, so now maybe I?m getting a LITTLE anxious about this damn dress, but in steps my mother and a friend of hers who works in the U.S: The week before my wedding, this lady found the said dress in a store, bought it, packed it and sent it to me - it arrived just over 48 hours later.

As with buses (they all come along at once), so with dresses, and I received a pick-up note from Royal mail - with an astounding one hundred pounds to pay for unpaid postage and dues.

Needless to say, that dress is still with Royal Mail, DKNY have never contacted me since and that's just dandy by me.

I wore the dress, looked STUNNING (of course), and continue to buy DKNY from smaller outlets. The only thing that pains me is the insincerity with which I was treated by the London branch staff, and the proof that a little bit of bull*****ing goes a long way.

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