***A*** Guide to Wedding Dresses (Wedding Dresses)

Member Name: cmh4135

Product:	Wedding Dresses
Date:	21/10/09 (82 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Be open minded

Disadvantages: You only get to do it once!

Girls dream about them, brides fuss about them, parents weep at them. Wedding dresses are the thing of dreams and most girls seem to have an idea of what makes the perfect dress. Some brides-to-be will pour over magazines for months on end in search of the "perfect dress" ordering the same to be specially made many months before the big day in search of perfection. Others whether through constraints of time or money will seek a dress "off the peg", new or second, hand. All, with few exceptions, will look equally stunning or as my father so eloquently put it in a very out-of-character moment "the dogs b8llocks"!

For all, however, the decision tends to be a big one. We want to look good and to feel comfortable and, for many, the dress is a statement of who they are and what they aspire to.

My own dress was driven largely by circumstance. Due to the need for me to get a special licence to marry in the place of my choice I had but three months between the granting of that licence and my wedding day. And the first of those three months started at the end of December! Not ideal. There was no chance of my having time to have a dress made (which didn't actually bother me that much as I didn't want to spend a fortune on a dress) and so it had to be as "off the peg" as possible.

I hit London's Oxford Street on Boxing Day 2000 to begin, and, as it would happen, to end the quest. From step one, however, it was a learning curve.

*** The Appointment***

When shopping for wedding dresses never, ever underestimate the power of the appointment. Unless you are buying from a charity shop or lower end sale rail chances are you'll be making a fair few dress appointments. In many senses this all makes sense. Small boutiques don't have the room or the staff to cope with too many ladies all at once and, given that you'll need lots of help and attention you'll also not want to be one of many. Unfortunately, as I found on that Boxing Day, the appointment is King. Both London's Selfridges and Peter Jones refused me entry to their bridal sections as I did not have an appointment. Neither were busy. In fact, both were empty. Despite my pleas I was not even allowed to look at the dresses (let alone try any). Thankfully not all stores were like that and were happy to accommodate me (although at all times it was clear that I was to take second place to any appointments which I considered fair).

If you need a weekend appointment expect to wait a few weeks before you can get a slot in the more popular stores. A friend of mine had a 2 week wait for a Pronuptia store in a provincial town. The attention that you should get will make it worthwhile and it'll generally be the first appointment of many!

*** The Attention***

Most people have a fair idea of what they want from a wedding dress. There will be some for whom it'll be frills and flounces all the way and others who just "know" they want a simple sheath-style dress. STOP.

Wipe those thoughts from your mind.

Start again.

I think you need to go into your hunt for a dress with an open mind. The attention that is lavished on you by the assistants is not simply there to make you feel good. They WILL be honest (and if they're not, leave straight away!) and they will encourage you to look at things that you might not have considered.

As well as taking an open mind it's also worth taking an honest person with you. Someone that won't be afraid to tell it like it is and to offer a second opinion.


***The Attire***

Going shopping for wedding dresses is not like shopping for any other clothing item and it matters what you wear when you go!

Firstly, underwear. You'll want to be wearing a bra that won't get in the way when trying on. To this end a white or nude strapless bra that has a similar amount of support to the kind of thing you anticipate wearing on the day. This will allow you to try on strapless dresses or dresses with a wide neckline or halter without worrying about what to do with stray bra straps. Remember what your mum used to tell you about clean knickers and busses? That applies here too. Staff will assist you into and out of the dresses and so wear underclothes that are plain and discrete and that you wouldn't mind your mum catching you in.

In terms of outer clothes most shops will provide a robe for you to wear in between dresses as necessary. You might, however, feel more comfortable taking a wrap or jumper that you can slip on and off with ease.

Although it matters not a jot what you wear on your feet when you enter the shop do take a pair of shoes with a heel around the height that you want your wedding shoes to have. The dresses will sit so much better when you're not barefoot and, although many shops can lend shoes for this purpose somehow your own always feel much better! Remember too that socks will need to come off!!

***The Attributes***

Before you search for your perfect dress it does help to have a think about what you need your dress to do. Chances are you'll be spending upwards of 6 hours in the dress (most probably more) and you'll need to make sure it works for you. Some things you might want to consider:
- What time of year is it? Do you need a jacket or similar to cope with temperatures, especially if you want pictures outside.
- What will you do in the dress? Are you simply saying "I do" and then changing or do you need to be able to dance in the dress?
- Are there any traditions which you need or want to observe, for example colour or veiling or train length?


I started my dress hunt thinking that I wanted a simple column or sheath dress. I wasn't planning an extravagant wedding but was marrying in a church. I wanted white. I didn't want a veil. I tried on a few simple dresses, some of which were dismissed out of hand and some made it to my "think about pile". Then an assistant said something to me that changed everything. She said "if you need to think about it then it's not the right dress". She then told me to go completely off-piste, showing me dresses that I would NEVER have selected. Some went on and off again quicker than you could blink but I soon started to feel that maybe I was making the wrong assumptions about what I wanted. Then I tried on "the dress". I knew immediately that this was the one. It was everything I didn't want - ivory, full, and would probably need a veil. But I just knew that it was the one. It was a round necked, heavy lace bodice with a very full unpressed pleated skirt. It came with a heavy lace jacket with satin edges and a rather awful peter pan collar. I hated the collar but adored the dress. Then, inspiration struck - I tucked the collar into the jacket to make it a plain round neck and that was it - sold!

To add to my joy this was a sample dress from a new designer and heavily discounted - I think I paid £175 for a dress that would retail at around £1500 if brought into production!

***Alterations***

Thankfully there were few alterations to make to the dress although this is something to bear in mind even if you are buying off the peg - it will take a couple of weeks at least if you need to alter anything.

Alterations can work wonders though! You can't often make a dress bigger (least not by much) and you can make them smaller (but up to 3 or 4 dress sizes) and so, when trying on dresses, remember that you can look at far more than you could if you were buying a dress from Monsoon!

Most shops will have padding that they can use to pin the dresses so that you will see what they look like when they fit properly and they will all tell you what is possible and what is not. Length too is not an issue although if you go for a dress with a train then expect the cost of taking these up to be considerably more - worth considering if you are on a tight budget and short of stature!

***Anything Else***

Storing your dress before the big day can be an issue and although most places will keep a dress for you for a while you're likely to have it for at least a couple of weeks prior to the big day. Investing in a dress bag is worthwhile or you can fashion one from an old cotton duvet. Don't be tempted to store the dress in plastic or polythene as it will do the dress no good.

After the big day many brides chose to keep their dresses and, if so, you'll want it professionally cleaned and packed to preserve the fabric. Note that this is NOT cheap and in fact it cost me more to clean my dress after my wedding than it did to buy it in the first place.

I still have my dress to this day, undecided as to what to do with it. It's almost 9 years on and all thoughts of dying the dress and rounding the hem to use it as an evening dress have long gone. I know that I should get rid, perhaps through a charity shop, but there's a part of me that's deeply attached to this item of clothing that I wore for about 10 hours. It's my wedding dress.

Summary: It needn't be daunting and can be a lot of fun!