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I have a dream. I dream that one day, people will be able to see me from sideways-on. That's what Martin Luther King's original speech said, before he changed it and went all intelligent. His more famous dream, that's his children's children will be able to play together etc., was a far more realistic target than the target I have set myself. I have decided that I'm tired of looking like Flat Stanley. I don't like being lowered down drains to retrieve costume jewellery. Trouble is, unlike flat Stanley, I can't inflate myself with a hose pipe. I have to put some time and effort into going to the gym. Time is no problem. Effort? well I just can't be bothered. Plus there's that 'Gym Culture' thing that when you go, you never ever see anyone who actually NEEDS to be there. its always taught and toned women, bodybuilders, and the token Geoff Capes type, who looks really fat, until you see him lift a bus. I always believed that I was destined to remain skinny. I'm actually so skinny that children put torches behind me and stage Japanese shadow puppet shows through my body. It's no life, really. I'd begun to accept this life as a travelling child Palladium when I saw an advert in a magazine with catchy tag lines like "tone" and "flex" Great I thought. Except I've got nothing to tone and the only thing I flex is my friend and yours, Mastercard. Still, I'll take a look and see if they do ones with tags of "build" and "superman" They didn't. Nor did the man in the shop seem to appreciate my question. However. All is not lost. On my travels, I caught glimpse of a product called "Bodi Tek Sports Pro" this product promises: "The Bodi Tek allows you to tackle specific problem areas, strengthen muscles, or simply have a workout without the work. See the differe
nce in just 6 weeks." Wonderful. It sold itself to me in 3 words. "Without the Work". I was also happy that it said I could tackle specific problem areas. I.e.: All of me. So a purchase I did make. For my £99.99, I got well, medical equipment. It looks a lot like a portable defribulator for pets. Feels like it too. The version I bought consists of twelve body pads, one central control unit, several straps and belts, conductive gel, mains adapter, and the all important Travel bag. (it can work on batteries too) The idea is, using EMS (Electronic Muscle Stimulation - AKA Powergen) the thing sends "a stream of tiny electronic pulses to your muscles" In non-advertising blurb, this would actually read "Hooks you up to the national grid and jiggle your your innards" I think now is an appropriate time to point out that the Bodi Tek is odd. Very odd. My first foray into "working out without working" was on the night I'd bought it. I brought in a friend to share the experience with me, and to help me get wired up. The instruction book directs victim/patient to strap the elasticised belts around your body, and they almost mummified me, so no matter your girth, they'll easily surround you. 2 pads go on each abdominal muscle, if its the abs your working on, - (you can do pecs, biceps and triceps, bum, thighs - lots really. Don't put them on your face. That hurts and is discouraged by the disclaimer in the handbook. I looked like I had bells' palsy when my house guest held them to my chops) - and you're ready to fire up. Next move is to slowly increase the intensity of the pulses, working up to a level that is taxing, but not painful. Another word of warning, do not get all macho, or have masochist chums, who put the intensity to maximum immediately. I firstly head-butted my knees, then I rolled round flailing on the floor. Passers b
y were saying : "He's being electrocuted - I've seen Michael Buerk on 999 deal with this - Hit him with a chair" It was scarily similar to the scene in the Simpsons where they all go for shock treatment, except I wasn't tied down. You get the idea. When I regained co-ordination, and could adjust the equaliser type slides to match the levels that I felt comfortable with, it wasn't actually too painful. I was only making the same sort of face as the woman who is doing her pelvic floor exercises at the bus-stop. The next morning, I couldn't move without feeling sore. That means it's doing something healthy, doesn't it? Allegedly I have to give it a 6 week course before I really notice the results, but after only 1 week, I can go to the max, and I freak out less, so I'm improving. Also on the main control panel is an LCD timer, for anything from 5 minute to 30 minute work outs, and you can select 2 different settings of workout (therapy or toning) Each has their own pulse and intensity to suit the user. The Bodi Tek doesn't promise to build huge bulking great muscle, but to tone what you've got and can be used along side exercise. I am personally challenging that notion, and am determined to prove that wrong, by being a "control" in my own experiment and show that it actually can build muscle. I'm not bothering with the accompanying effort-causing exercise. I don't recommend anyone else to do this. I'm a trained professional. Other experiments I am currently working with, using the pads are as follows: ==============Be Like Rolf=================== resuscitate lifeless hamsters and act out scenes from Animal Hospital. And you can shout "Clear" whilst getting that miniature heart pulsing once more. ==============Foreplay eradicator.=========== Clearly this contraption was invented by a man.
The pulsing "therapy" option when set on very lightly could be used as a lady-pleaser, and due to the timer, the man can set it to finish at about half time. Thus avoiding arguments involving "Left a bit" "can i come back up yet?" "its starting again soon" and so on. In the interests of science, and equal opportunities, and because FrannyFortune said I had to, I tried it as a man-pleaser. This is not recommended, and it takes a bit of time to recover from. Other lessons I have learned since buying the Bodi tek are, don't try to drink when you are doing your biceps, the drink will be on the wall and the glass will be on the floor. Don't put the pads directly over the heart (this one, with hindsight, was kinda obvious). If you put the pads directly over your heart, it feels like your arteries are being pulled off. Painful. I have decided however, without testing, that if you suffer from constipation, position the pads carefully and this takes the effort out of straining. Helpful. You are not allowed to use EMS units: Over New Scars On Varicose Veins Enlarged Moles Over Recent injuries If you Suffer from Heart Problems If you are a diabetic If you are Epileptic If you have Multiple Sclerosis If you are Pregnant. Other than that, its perfectly safe. You can even use it during menstruation. Useful info for us men that. So far, I've not noticed any real muscle growth or improvement in tone. But I'm confident I will. Eventually. --------------------------------------------- **UPDATE ON EXPERIMENTS** I found that since writing this, op, the Bodi Tek is rubbish at the following: Cooking. Eggs and Chicken were tried, but the pads won't even make a potatoes skin crispy. This experiment le
ft me feeling a touch fragile for a few days. Weaponry. The Bodi Tek will not deter burglars, even after you tell them it's a cattle prod. With a plug. This experiment was conducted in labratory conditions, as i haven't actually been burgled. I went to my local pub and conducted a survey. Got myself some new CD's too. He said that they weren't Hot, but they will be when the owner finds out they've gone. General Cleaning. Bodi Tek has no affect on dust. neither attracting nor dispelling it. nothing really. This experiment was disappointing. PC Repair. You cannot revive a dead pc with bodi tek. We did all we could, but it didn't pull through. Mournful.
The first impression most people have of Bodi-Tek is that it is a lazy way of trying to achieve a better physique and that it probably will not work.
I am not sure why people have the second preconceived idea but I must admit it is the one thing that put me off buying the system. It was only through reading opinions on Dooyoo that I decided to give it a try. (If you are thinking about buying Bodi-Tek I would check out Roebuddy's op, as it was this one that convinced me).
So what is it?
Bodi-Tek was developed mainly to be used by astronauts. Apparently the effect of gravity puts your body through a strenuous workout during the day. In space you don't get the benefit of this so an artificial method was needed. It uses EMS (Electronic Muscle Stimulation) to contract and expand your muscles so that your brain thinks that you are doing a workout.
Where to get it from
I bought my system online from www.boysstuff.co.uk. The system was £125 with postage and packing taking the cost up to just under £130. There are various different systems available so it may be best to shop around before deciding which one to go for. It was sent by recorded delivery and arrived about 10 days after I placed the order. The slight delay was caused by it being out of stock and the site kept me up to date so I would recommend checking this site out.
At first I was disappointed by the size of the package. With all that was enclosed I expected a fairly bulky parcel but it was quite compact. The reason behind this is the storage is incredible. Everything is stored in a leather case, which has hidden and zipped compartments. The case contains the control panel, the adaptor, 8 large pads, 4 small pads, 2 large straps, 2 small straps and 4 leads. The case is about the same size as a Dreamcast machine (poor example but it's ly
ing beside one just now!). This is great for transporting it and the case is full of spare compartments as well as the assigned ones. This was a real bonus as it was not something I had considered before I ordered it and the Bodi-Tek people deserve a lot of praise for this.
What does it feel like?
The feeling when you use Bodi-Tek is certainly unique and a lot of people who I have used it with have not liked the initial experience. I must admit I was surprised at the feeling, which has to be experienced to get an idea of what happens. Like most others I naively thought I would strap this on, not feel a thing and look like The Hulk after a period of time. What actually happens is your muscles contract as if for example you were lifting a heavy weight. Your muscle then relaxes when the signal stops and contracts again at the next signal. In this sense you are actually going through a workout but without putting in any real effort. It is not an entirely comfortable feeling but is a lot easier than trying to do 450 sit ups. The makers think that half an hour on Bodi-Tek could be the equivalent of that many sit-ups and I know what I prefer.
Does It Work?
I was amazed at how quickly I started to notice a difference. There is little or no difference to muscles which are well developed, but there was a difference in less developed muscle groups within the first week. I thought that this may have been in my head but others have confirmed this.
The thing I like best about Bodi-Tek is you place pads on the exact muscles you want to tone or build up. Some muscles can be difficult to try and build up using conventional methods but with this system you can target the exact muscle groups and work exclusively on them.
How do you Use It?
It is quite a simple process to get started. Firstly decide which muscles you want to work on, select th
e appropriate size of strap and put it on. The pads need soaked for about 20 seconds before use then they are slipped under the strap and connected to the control panel.
The best feature is you have 4 independent controls to adjust the power of the signal. This means that you can work on well developed muscles at a high setting and work on lower developed ones at a lower setting.
As well as setting the power you can also control the delay between the signals and the length of each signal. This means that you have total control over the workout. I genuinely cannot think of a way to improve the control over the signals.
Although I think that this is an excellent product I would have liked to have seen a couple of extra smaller straps. You are given 2 large and 2 small. This means that if you are working on your arms you cannot work on your legs and vice-versa. This is just a small point and there is a catalogue provided so I can buy the extra straps but I would have thought that a lot of people would have liked 2 more small straps.
I think that Bodi-Tek is a great product and when you break down the cost it is not overly expensive. When you consider the joining fees for some Gyms are higher than the cost of the whole system it quickly puts the price in perspective. However, it should be used as a supplement to a regular exercise campaign and not in place of. Bodi-Tek provides nothing in respect of a Cardio-vascular workout so it is essential that real exercise is also taken.
Like all things it will lose its appeal through time but this can be true of Gyms as well and it is a lot less time consuming than travelling to a Gym.
I did look for a good Gym in my local area before I bought this but found that I would have to travel 30 miles to get a Gym with all the facilities I wanted so it was an easy choice for me.
If you are tempte d give it a try!
I had an interesting discussion with a well-known sports shop’s sales person and saw the Bodi-tek sports pro on display before I actually decided to buy this expensive product by fast mail order (Cheaper and with a better warranty even including postage). The sales guy explained that the machine was a ‘body toner’ and designed to enhance normal exercise. I had tried body building in the past (heavy going), and being a dedicated kind of person, I knew I would give the Bodi-tek a fair run for it’s money. Electronic muscle stimulation basically involves contracting muscles by electric shock, rather than by controlled physical exertion. It’s somewhat easier as you require little or no effort to do the same job as exercise - increasing circulation and exerting muscle groups to increase strength and ‘body build’. Once you get used to setting the knobs as high as you can bear the pain (and yes it does hurt like hell if you go too high) it is quite stimulating!! I found the pads slowly became less efficient over time and constantly required wetting (you can use plain water on them as well as their expensive body toning gel). The machine was easiest set up to work on the abdominal muscle groups, and to be quite honest, if you don’t have a six pack it could create one with dedication if you are close to one already. I found it too much trouble to set up the pads on any other muscle groups but you can use it on all. The machine did work but results were much slower than with sit up’s, but then they are absolute murder aren’t they!! If you have a beer gut you’d better do both though. There is no miracle here I’m afraid! I understand that ‘Slendertone’ now retail an EMS fixed belt that works only on the abdominals. I wish this was around when I bought my bodi-tek, it’s cheaper and I really only use my sports pro (reputed to be the best EMS machine on the market)
on the ab’s! There are a lot of EMS machines around. I understand the technology was developed to enable Astronauts to exercise effectively in space! Strangely enough the Americans' don’t rate EMS.
EEEeee - EMMMMmmmmmm - ESSSSSSsssss! ------------------------------------- A number of companies have brought out Electrical Muscle Stimulation (EMS) systems to help people develop muscularity (for blerks) and tone (for gals). I bought one a few months ago from Bodi-Tek. Essentially the system is a signal generator, to which yoo attach conductive pads. Yoo place the pads (amidst a contorting mass of wires) onto specific muscle groups and hold them in place using massive Velcro straps. Yoo can now alter the strength, frequency, impulse duration and pause time of the stimulation as desired. This one is black with a red and white finish - more blerkish, probably. There are equivalent ones with smaller rounder and generally more comfortable pads with compact signal generators that are white and blue 'specially' for ladies that yoo can see in any Argos or Index catalogue, modelled by that Nikki Butcher, or whatever her name is. A Real Pro ----------- The system I got is the 'Sports Pro' It consists of the signal generator, with four electrical outputs and 4 corresponding pulse-strength dials (increases the voltage and frequency). It has two throttles, one for Pulse duration and the other for pause duration. There is also a switch: Sports mode or Therapy mode. Therapy mode starts off pulsing slowly at (numerically countable) frequencies and gradually increases, but never gets to anywhere near the same frequencies as sports mode. Therapy mode is really like a deep muscle massage - if you're injured, this is gentle enough to really be of benefit. Yoo also get the adapter, two large Velcro straps, two small ones, four pairs of cables, 4 pairs of large conductive pads, two pairs of small conductive pads, a small bottle of conductive gel, the manuals [easy to read leaflets with pictures [ooooh, aaahh!], all stored very conveniently in a small soft carry cas
e. Yoo also get six batteries free, but yoo're better off with the adapter. (Save the batteries for anything else). All for a cool £99 pounds. Retail Boos ... [I Mean Blues! Fat lotta Difference!] ------------------------------------------- I got mine from Argos. [I hear boos]. I guess I have to explain myself. I looked around quite a bit for this product in several places. AS the Argos catalogue is available in 70% of all UK households, including my own, I used it as the benchmark. I checked in several specialist sports shops and the same model was being sold for upward of £150 quid. [Boos to JBS, or whatever they're called!] I then checked the Index catalogue [EVEN more Boos! Please, quiet now..] as they often try to usurp Argos for prices. Low and behold they seemed to have done just that. By about ninety-nine pee. So I got my first system from Index [sssssssssss! Enuff already!]. I took it home to find that the system firstly wasn't black. It was maroon. Instead of four electrical outputs it had three. Instead of twelve conductive pads it had eight. It wasn't the model I though it would be. I assumed that being the same price (give or take a quid) it would be the same model. Bloody Index. The only thing I've got from them that was good value were a set of curling and triceps bars (£11.99 reduced from £19.99 - which was same as Argos's price) So I returned it and ended up getting Argos's version - better value considering either way you spend nearly one-hundred poynds ["to be sure"]. The Eg ------- Following that brief overview, I'll give yoo an example. Well in fact its me. I'm neither fat not excessively thin. That's a pretty on-the-fence statement. Yoo're probably thinking "yeah right". Well to give yoo some idea, yoo measure fatness or skinniness and fitness in a n
umber of ways. But here's one. I am in the position where I sometimes have a six-pack and sometimes don't. If I don't then a bit of work (as little as a days worth) can bring back some tone and some definition. Further continuous work (upto 14 days) gets 'em bulletproof again. There are some that pity me and some that envy me for being in this position. But really it's the ideal position to be in when providing an opinion on this product. I really can see the benefit of this type of product. But yoo might need to be aware of some of its shortcomings. The Fine Print --------------- When yoo first get it, please read the instructions. The guide comes with pictures of where all the muscle groups are, and is really useful. It's more a pamphlet than a manual and easy to pick up in every sense of the term. [ My ex springs to mind :-) ] It says that yoo need to use EMS at least three times a week for eight continuous weeks to visibly see new and improved definition to the stimulated muscle groups. I suspect that this is for people in the worst-case scenario, because I saw improvement in a couple of days. But that's probably sensible to cover all of Bodi-tek's bases. If yoo don't get any exercise in a certain part (or indeed any part) of your body, or if yoo're not Able to, then this device certainly can help improve tone. No doubts. It is however NOT A SUBSTITUTE for REAL Cardiovascular exercise (running, jogging, swimming, etc.). Yoo still need to run around and break out into sweat, because if your heart doesn't get exercise, the rest of yoo won't last long enough to show off a six-pack when you finally get one. Doubly so, because if yoo have a cardiovascular regime already, the EMS effect is enhanced! Heavyweights reading this may be dismayed that the already fit benefit EVEN more with this device - but it's true
. Trebly so. If yoo are large, then the initial effect of EMS is to make yoo look even larger! EMS increases muscle tone, and soon thereafter, muscle size. It can't burn off fat as readily as cardiovascular exercise, so yoo end up having bigger muscles with the same amount of fat, making yoo look even larger. [Honestly, it really does pay to have some sort of cardiovascular regime - contact / comment me if you need suggestions. Don't pay the ultimate price.] There are some important contraindications too. For instance, it's not a good idea if yoo have a bun in the oven or are preggers. Also the product may not suitable if yoo have allergies or are susceptible to irritation. The electrical impulses may cause inflammatory cells to be released / activated in allergics. I'm neither preggers nor allergic, but even so, after some intense use my skin does go red - but yoo should expect that, and should?nt be worried if that happens to yoo. The best way to use this system is to use it in combination with a CV regime and EMS in situations where CV exercise is impractical / impossible, like at work or in the car or writing for DooYoo. (Incidentally, although the system is portable with batteries, if yoo have an in-car electrical adapter, it works better off the car's battery - just make sure the engine is running while yoo use it). Nitty Gritty ------------- Now to some of the nitty gritty. When yoo use it, start off at low pulse settings. Yoo'll feel gentle tingling. If yoo can take an increase for a more intense 'workout' then jack up the pulse setting. What yoo feel here is more painful, and can cause your muscles to go into cramp - so be careful. (I like this though). After anything but the lightest of use, yoo really doo feel as though yoo've been in a workout. Your muscles, whichever ones yoo've been working, have the same sort of ache
as if yoo had been doing loads of sit-up-press-ups or whatever. Because of this, yoo've got to be prepared for muscle groups that yoo only rarely use, cos the ensuing ache will be very painful - but that would be the same as if you had exercised those groups with manual (as opposed to mechanical) techniques. It's really funny when yoo put the pads on your biceps and triceps. Not to be sick, but yoo end up really looking 'sick'! Especially on high settings! I've seen a product in The Sun's TV guide, which is an all in one EMS strap that yoo put around your waist for 6-pax and obliques. Around 80-quid, I think it may be worth the hassle (and the extra tenner) to get one with wires - as they are more versatile for the other areas where they may be useful: this becomes more obvious in later parts of this opinion, relating to the latter half of my title. Spare Parts for Spare Tyres ---------------------------- Reading the instructions and manual yoo will see an order form for spare parts, like cords and pads. Seeing this yoo may start to wonder how short the lifespan of the materials yoo bought are. Sure they won't last forever, but so long as yoo take care of them (especially the conductive pads) yoo can make the most of them for quite a considerable length of time ( > 1 year). The conductive pads have one side that can retain water. This fabric has to be kept moist (better still wet) to conduct electricity effectively. But being fabric, it can also take up oils and residues found on skin - which reduces conductivity. The easy solution to this is to bathe the pads periodically in soapy water. This brings me to another slight inconvenience - the fact that yoo have to keep the pads wet. Sure yoo get a nice bottle of conductive gel, but that definitely does not last forever (although it's conductive effect is longer lasting and more consistent than plain water). Generally th
is means that unless yoo are totally nude, that yoo will have wet blotches all over yo clothes (could be a problem at work). The pads work really well when they are wet - if they are only slightly wet, then before long the electricity and heat from yo body will evaporate the water and severely reduce conductivity. ************** ** UPDATE *** ************** In some respects, Bodi-tek may have been better off providing the consumer with a powder or formula to make one's own gel. I can easily imagine a bottle the same size as the one provided containing such a formula would last a good deal longer than the gel they've slung in. As it is, to look at, Bodi-tek have done little else but provide us a bit of water (albeit with SOME conductive potassium salts) - the bottle itself probably cost more to produce! They're not hard to find, but if you really want, you can easily pick up an economy-size tub of conductive gel (not necessarily a Bodi-tek brand - principally, they all work the same). In fact most are thicker and more effective than the initial sample you get with the machine (more expensive too, I hasten to add). Most places that stock these devices also stock gel [including Argos and Index - SSSSSssss!!!], as do chemists. ******************************************** So here's the kinky bit. ------------------------- The sensation is, suffice it to say, rather unusual. And if yoo happen to be of the variety of human that leaps up in shocked-though-pleasantly-surprised confusion when yoo accidentally sit on a less-than-soft foreign object, then this tip could be for yoo. If yoo're curious, like my Ex, then yoo're gonna want to try it. She was curious. So was I. We tried stuff that we thought could be electrifying. And the configuration that worked was pads on either cheek ~ four cheeks in all ~ and I'm not talking the ones on yo face. I think she enjoyed it a little t
oo much cos the knob came off while she was continually twiddling it to get more pulsation and power. Being linked to the same machine meant getting stimulation at exactly the same time. Power being manually switched - low intensity .. HIGH INTENSITY! Soft, low vocalisation .. HIGH, LOUD VOCALISATIONS!!! Sweet Relief ... PLEASURE-DERIVED PAIN! Synchronous, intense gluteus constriction ~ to cramp-inducing proportions?.. Ahem! I don't recommend that - I mean the twiddling the knob bit. The EMS system comes with a 12-month warranty, and is not covered by misuse.
The Bodi-Tek Sports Elite 2 is proven to provide fast effective results. Bodi-Tek guarantee that using the Sports Elite 2 for just a couple of weeks will improve your muscle definition and muscle fitness. The Sports Elite 2 allows you to concentrate on specific muscle groups to get the most out of your body. So, whether you're a professional athlete, occasional gym user, or simply don't have time, the Bodi-Tek Sports Elite 2 is guaranteed to enhance your body.Using the New Bodi-Tek Sports Elite 2 provides fast results. Just half an hour a day is all it takes to solve figure problems and achieve healthy muscles and great body shape. It is the ultimate in fast effective Toning. No other EMS unit can do all this! Using this product couldn't be easier. Just place the pads over the muscles you want to work, choose a programme, sit back, and relax.