Once Upon A Time, When Life Was Sweet, I Had A Bounty On Bounty Beach! (Mars Bounty)

Member Name: Sexy Kay

Product:	Mars Bounty
Date:	12/08/02 (623 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Taste

Disadvantages: Calories

"Done some things I never thought I'd ever do.
Now as I stand here
Looking down at you ..."

I was in a blue mood as I read the poem, but I snapped myself out of it as I remembered that 'I'd done some things'. Like, erm, well one I can mention: I had a Bounty on Bounty Beach. The memory makes me smile at least!

This was in the south of France. I'd been travelling along the coast, eastward from St. Tropez towards Cannes, and heard of this special beach where the original Bounty television and cinema ads were supposedly made, a few years back. It was quite difficult to get to, well off the beaten track, but so worth the effort.

The almost white sand contrasted vividly with the clear blue, gently lapping sea. After a cooling swim I sheltered away from the blazing sun under one of the palm trees that fringed the beach. Could this be heaven I wondered, as I smiled at my Bounty Bar, divesting it of its wrapper. But, oh dear, it was far from being in tip top condition. I should have realised that this would happen, but it was still a disappointment. It was all soft, warm and sticky and - I don't know about you, but - this isn't the way I like them.

A Bounty, straight out of the fridge, now you are talking! This has become an essential part of my once in a while, pick me up, mood enhancing regime. Sometimes you just have to say, "Blow the discipline, yoga, meditating, jogging, sensible eating, salads, fruit and boyfriend. What I need right now is a damn good Bounty Bar or two or more".

They've got to be the dark chocolate ones though. The milky ones are for wallowing whimps and just don't have the same uplifting qualities. What you then need is wine. But it must be a robust, rich red colour to compliment the Bounty packaging. Now place the Bounty Bars and wine next to your favourite chair, or settee, together with the TV and video remote and a tras
hy paperback. You're almost ready for take off.

First, if you have one, get shot of the man in your life. Send him down the pub or somewhere, then get into some saggy, baggy clothes and out of anything tight. Lose the bra and any make-up, have a good scratch and then just slump down, however it feels best. Forget elegance or how you look, who cares! Sling one of your legs over the arm of the chair and heave a great big sigh as you unload all of your troubles. It's good to slob out.

Get ready to indulge with the TV, video or book of your choice but first ... a Bounty Bar. Unwrap it slowly. Can you smell the chocolate, isn't it amazing? Why can't men sometimes smell like this? Doesn't it look absolutely perfect? So smooth. Just bite the 'tinsiest', slither of chocolate off the end - don't rush - and really enjoy the flavour. Don't be like my boyfriend who hunks a bar down in two mouthfuls - bless! He doesn't always understand pleasure.

Have another bite so that this time you taste the sweet, tender, white coconut as well. See how the thick dark chocolate cracks under your teeth - make sure you don't waste any. While you are enjoying this, move up a gear, sip a little red wine to bring even more taste buds pulsating into action. Now we are getting there. It's all in the head, but this can be just as good as Bounty Beach, Cannes, the Maldives or Wigan - if you want it to be.

Mixing a Bounty Bar with the fullness of red wine is absolute magic, especially when indulged with some low level, easy to slump to, movie or author. Who needs Shakespeare or News Night when you can have the escapist, easy to read words of someone like Louise Bagshawe, to titilate while you slurp and enjoy your Bounty. Sometimes trash is what you need, it's not good to think too deep and meaningful all the time. We all deserve a night off occasionally to slob out.

Ahhhh Bounty B
ars. Of course, I'm presuming you know what they are. You must! But just in case, you get two bars in a pack each about 6cm long, and weighing in at 28.5g. This'll cost you around a measly, paltry 35p. A bargain! There are two sorts: the milk chocolate, in a cool blue wrapper, and the delicious, highly recommended, dark chocolate dressed in a sizzling sexy cloak of red.

The outer layer of chocolate is laid on nice and thick and inside is tender, sweetened coconut. It's like you're nibbling your way to paradise. The palm trees begin to waft gently under the blue sky and two gorgeous ... mustn't get too carried away, I'm on my own tonight!

What Bounty have done is to improve on the real flavour of coconut. You know how those big hairy nuts are quite tough going. The white fleshy bit is so chewy and, to be honest, I don't really like the taste. Even if it's fresh and still milky it has a certain dryness to it. But with a Bounty they have shredded and tenderised the coconut, mixed it with sugar and glucose and made it all moist and fresh until - well until it's nothing like the real thing. Just 21% of the bar is desiccated coconut.

I know, I know, it's probably not all that good for you, what with all of that sugar, glucose syrup, salt and things, but it don't half taste good! I'll tell you a secret. Sometimes, despite what I've previously said, I'll devour a bar ever so quickly - I just can't help myself - now, isn't that naughty, or what. ... I really must be due a holiday!

Now my best friend, she nibbles off all the chocolate first, while holding it in a sideways position, before attacking the coconut. And I hear that the delightful, domesticated, Nigella deep fries hers. A girl at work says her boyfriend likes her to ... but I won't delve into that - in more ways than one.

It illustrates though the versatility of Bounty Bars. I'm
shamelessly enjoying one right now, as a test, just to prove that you can Dooyoo with a Bounty. Now as I sit here ...

"Looking down at you,
You wonder why I frown.
I guess it's because I've been to town."

Once upon a time, when life was sweet, I had a Bounty on Bounty Beach.

- Kay

Summary: