An ode to Sir Branston Pickle (Crosse and Blackwell Branston Pickle)

Member Name: mikefnw75

Product:	Crosse and Blackwell Branston Pickle
Date:	22/02/06 (521 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: goes well with most things

Disadvantages: Needs to be used quickly

In eager anticipation of my lunch I have penned this poem...


***An Ode to Branston Pickle.***

Small chunk, Branston Pickle
It barely costs a nickle,
In fact I paid 80p,
I'm starting to get hungry.

You are a wonderful deep brown,
You remove all of my frowns,
Once I see you I want more,
Thankfully your available in many stores.

Taking me a step closer to heaven than hell,
Your made by Crosse and Blackwell,
360 grammes in masse,
You come in a very strong glass.

So what lies in you?
Onions, Carrots, Cauliflower and Gherkins too.
There's marrow, apples, and rutabaga - what's that?
I hope it won't make me fat.

And there's more,
Sugar, Malt, Vinegar can not be ignored.
Maize, Starch, Lemon Juice and spices
All of this at such low prices!

There's a safety button on the top,
Once opened it will pop.
Providing a wonderful chance
For you, to drive your knife in like a lance!

What should you eat this with?
Anything you like you silly div',
Cheese, salads, sandwiches and cold meats,
It's a taste sensation, none can beat.

If your unhappy give Premier Ambient Products a call,
It beats stomping around like a mad thing in your hall,
0800 0327111 is the number to ring,
An answer to your problems customer services will bring.

Small chunks make for easier spreading,
Saves all that hard work I'd been dreading.
Makes it far easier to chew,
While you relish that deep brown hue.

Sir Branston Pickle I adore,
You have penetrated my inner core,
Now I'm going to make you spread,
and devour you in my bed!


I have also posted this on Ciao as mikefnw75.

Summary: Great with most things