It's A Kinder Magic (Kinder Chocolate)

Name: Joker25

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Product:	Kinder Chocolate
Date:	17/02/06 (9061 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Chocolate AND a toy. What more could you possibly want?

Disadvantages: None ! Yay !

You're still gasping in awe at the sheer awfulness of the pun in the title aren't you? Fret not my lovelies, it gets better after this (probably, I give no guarantees though).

Kinder Surprise eggs are a teeny little miracle in chocolatey form. If you haven't heard of them and eaten one, then I'm both shocked and amazed, frankly.
Just a little bit of history to start us off; Kinder chocolate is made by the good people of Ferrero Spa (founded in 1946 in Italy by the Ferrero family). No doubt you're already painfully aware of their heinous crimes against advertising "Ah, Mr Ambassador, with these chocolates you are really spoiling us, no?" but they should not be castigated for this, as in the momentous year of 1974 they took the inspired decision to combine the joyous worlds of chocolate and toys. Neither they nor I have looked back since.

Kinder Surprises are about 2 ½ inches tall by about 2 inches wide. They come wrapped in red and white foil and are available pretty much everywhere for 42 of your hard earned pennies. This is quite pricey bearing in mind that you get nowhere near as much chocolate as in an ordinary bar, but you do have the consolation of a dinky wee toy. On the outside is the Kinder logo, the ingredients list (I'm absolutely not typing that out - suffice to say, if you eat 20 of them you may just feel a wee bit queasy) and a warning not to give them to children under 3. Well, preaching to the converted there I feel - why spoil children with these when you could scoff them all yourself?

Open the wrapper and you have, well, a small chocolate egg (no surprises there, then). The egg is easily snapped in half lengthways and is hollow, the chocolate being a sort of shell around the toy container. The outside of the chocolate shell is milk chocolate and the inside is white chocolate. The chocolate is smooth, milky and migraine inducingly sweet - much more so than standard milk chocolate such as Dairy Milk. This sounds like a negative point, but no…one of the beautiful things about Kinder Surprises is that most of the weight is taken up by the toy - the actual chocolate content is probably only that of one or two individual pieces of Dairy Milk, so there's not enough chocolate to rot your teeth or bring on a serious sugar rush (in case you're interested you need to eat approximately 8 of these to get a proper high - I have investigated on your behalf. I'm good like that).

Now on to the good stuff…the toy! This comes in an oblong plastic container about an inch and a half long that needs to be popped in half to access said toy. Here we encounter the second beautiful thing about Kinder Surprises - the toy container, whilst having limited range and being a bit tricky to aim can, with dedicated practice, be used quite successfully as a weapon. I tend to wait until one of my pupils isn't listening and then pop it at their head, however, there are no hard and fast rules here. I invite you all to find a method of attack that works for you.

The toys come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. Sometimes they follow a theme (which at the moment seems to be Santa's elves) and most of the time they're just bafflingly random. Occasionally the toys come ready made (this is always a bit of a disappointment), but most of the time you make them yourself, often with the exciting addition of stickers. In the last week I've managed to scoff 6 Kinder Surprises and I have got: 2 odd red hole punches (odd because they only punch one hole), a teeny tiny elf sellotape dispenser, an ickle elf post-it note pad, a snail in a rowing boat and a swimming snail. Also inside the toy container part you get instructions for making the toy, a warning that you really shouldn't share this with toddlers and an invitation to the magic kingdom at www.magic-kinder.com. For this you get a code that you can type in to access a 'prize'. This is just a game you can download to your desktop, but it's diverting nonetheless. There are also options for Spongebob Squarepants etc sections, but my attention span wasn't long enough to explore these.

Those of you who know me know that there's absolutely no way I paid for 6 of Kinder Surprises myself, and yes, I did indeed steal them. It's worse this time though - a parent donated them as prizes for the weekly star pupils and I went right on ahead and pinched them anyway. I know no shame, and stolen chocolate is altogether much nicer than the stuff you have to pay for.


(Also posted on Ciao by me)

3&12, 2010

Summary: The joy of Kinder Surprise Eggs