Orgasm Chocolates, Better than Sex? (Lindt Lindor Chocolate Truffles)

Member Name: English Lady

Product:	Lindt Lindor Chocolate Truffles
Date:	09/06/05 (3083 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: creamy,chocolatey, orgasmic, unusual

Disadvantages: fairly expensive, other people will want to eat them too!

“Lindt Lindor assortment, Swiss chocolate with a soft filling.”

It sounds simple, almost boring, when you read the words like that, but you truly have to taste a Lindor to realise why I call them orgasm chocolates.

Its not only me, talking on an online message board I discovered a friend’s partner regarded the white chocolate variety as “orgasm chocolates” too. So what is it that makes them so satisfyingly good?

Looking at the long, hexagonal topped golden box, you’d probably think these look old fashioned and dated. The imposed images of the balls of Lindor themselves looking tacky, even more so against the gold lace work embossing. Well, “don’t judge a chocolate by it’s box.” has long been a motto of mine, and so this didn’t put me off in the slightest.

My box of Lindor was a bargain, £1.50 from my local Nice Price for 200g (16 balls) of chocolate ecstasy. Less than ten pence per orgasm, cheap eh? However Asda’s online store has the milk variety at £3.28 a box, which doubles the price, so is this experience worth the extra pennies?

Plain chocolate. (Blue Wrapper)

Although this chocolate does have a bitter edge, it still manages to taste very milky, the bitter edge only lingering at the edge of the pallet after the chocolaty melting goodness has slipped down and sensuously coated your throat. If you enjoy bitter cocoa tasting chocolate, you’ll probably find this a little too milky for your liking. If you love bog standard milk chocolate you’ll enjoy these, though the bitter edge is a definite disadvantage to my mind. (and my taste buds) You get 5 of these per box, so hand them round to the relatives as most people will like them to some extent.

White Chocolate. (White Wrapper)

This is my husbands favourite; sweet, sugary and firm, the middle only melts after a good long moment in the mouth and I feel it sticks more than coats the throat. I am not a white chocolate fan, but this is good quality white chocolate, very creamy and really sickly. There are only 3 of these in the box, reflecting this I think.

Hazelnut Chocolate (Brown Wrapper)

The nut flavouring is subtle, this eats just like a milk chocolate Lindor apart from the extra crunch at the end as the nuts are left in your mouth as the chocolate lava trickles down your throat. 3 of these, you won’t be heart-broken to give one away to a friend. They’re nothing extra special.

Milk Chocolate (Red Wrapper)

Let the ball of chocolate sit in your mouth, don’t bite into it. Whirl your tongue around it and enjoy the weight of it in your mouth, the slight, subtle, sweet taste tantalising your taste buds. Feel the excitement build as you feel one side giving, I often moan when I feel the shell popping in my mouth and the first drip of pure, soft, silken milk chocolate slowly slips down my throat. Gulp down the chocolate river, just sweet and creamy enough, the consistency heavenly. Probe your tongue inside the left over shell and you’ll find a little bump, whirl your tongue around this lovingly and feel the shell collapse on your tongue, melting to a slightly thicker liquid than the centre itself. This is a sexual experience, pure and unadulterated bliss. It’s not comparable to a good hard love making session, but it comes damn close!

Yes, these are my favourites, these are my special orgasm chocolates and I will bite off fingers if anyone nicks one of the 5 in my assortment, I’m a little more generous if I have a whole box of this one flavour though.

Hints
*Do not store these in your fridge or pantry, when they go cold, they set and you don’t get the molten middle effect that you do when these chocolates are warm and soft.
*Although you may want to scoff a box of these in one sitting, please don’t try it. I find one of each variety just enough to satisfy me, any more and my tummy gets queasy.
*Persuade your children that they’re adult chocolates, do not let them taste them or you’ll have none left for yourself. My daughter loves the plain chocolate ones!

I don’t have to tell you these are calorie bombs do I? 31% cocoa solids and 20% milk solids is enough to know, be thankful there’s no nutritional information to gawp over! Oh but of course, these are not suitable for anyone with dairy or nut allergies!

I recommend you get hold of a variety box of Lindor and decide which float your own personal boat.

UK distribution address:

Stockley Road
West Drayton
Midlesex
UB7 9 BG

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