MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (Lyons Battenburg Cake)

Member Name: friendofmaddo

Product:	Lyons Battenburg Cake
Date:	03/03/09 (38 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Yummy

Disadvantages: Actually does contain calories. Sorry bout that.

This is, without doubt or exception, the finest confectionery item I have ever had the orgasmic pleasure to consume. Its colour scheme reflects the fine diversity of its taste-gamut: it ranges from poppin' pink to yummy yellow, and many many more. The taste excels all comparison, even to the Seven Wonders of the World (but they are made of rock, so it's not a fair fight).

The sponginess far exceeds any other known sponginess, including that of the common bathroom and the world famous squarepants. The contrasting texture of the marzipan combined with the stick-to-your-teeth texture of the sponge means this cake will hang around for a long time.

A perfect afternoon cake with tea, it's made for eating in summer afternoons on the lawn. The taste embodies the Italian mantra of living 'la dolce vita', and stuff. It is sweet and airy and melts in your mouth. This cake also provides entertainment in that you can take it apart and eat all the separate bits. This makes it last longer - that can't be a bad thing. The aftertaste is soft and delicate, and it leaves you wanting more.

I was going to say something about calories, but it's too good to miss. And it's cake, so you probably don't care. Even writing this is making me hungry.

In conclusion, if I was a morbidly obese person, and eating this cake meant certain death, I would say 'hand me that frickin cake' and die a happy person.

Summary: Yummy