An ode to Marmite (Marmite)

Member Name: monkeyplums

Product:	Marmite
Date:	19/10/09 (27 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: none

Disadvantages: everything

Marmite, marmite, marmite,
This really is the strangest stuff.
If you eat it while you're naked,
It'll stick to your bellybutton fluff.

It resembles the Devils' earwax,
And comes in little jars.
But it looks more like something
That came out of your ****!

They say it tastes quite beefy,
And it's made from brewers yeast.
But personally i think they find it
Between the toes of a hairy beast.

I really cannot stand the stuff,
As you can probably tell.
I don't mind to look at it
But it's that bloody awful smell.

It lingers on people for ages,
Like a Marmitey smell of death.
It makes you smell like Twiglets
When you have it on your breath.

A little jar will cost you,
About one pound twenty nine.
Which, if you think you'll like the stuff
Is absolutely fine.

But if like me you hate it,
And don't want waste your pennies.
Pick something else, don't buy the stuff
Get a Mars bar or some Rennies.

Some people spread it on bread or toast,
For their breakfast or their dinner.
I really don't know how they can
I'd sooner kiss Michael Winner.

You'll find the "Devils' earwax"
In shops almost everywhere.
But heed my advice, it's not very nice
If I were you i'd leave it there.

This is the stuff of nightmares,
I won't have it in my life.
And i think i'd have to leave her
If i smelled it on the wife.

I wish it could be banished,
To the hell from whence it came.
And the people who first thought it up
Be covered with a beefy shame.

To those of you who have yet to try,
It's really up to you.
Don't be suprised if you buy a jar
You may gag upon this goo!

Thanks for reading my ditty,
About the nasty spread thats' brown.
Feel free to rate and if you think it's great
You could nominate for a crown.

Summary: don't do it!