Glorious Marmite (Marmite)

Name: Bryn Pearson

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Product:	Marmite
Date:	13/09/02 (115 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: great taste, lasts forever

Disadvantages: none

You either love marmaite, or you hate it. There is no middle ground. Devotes smear it on their toast, those who abhore it come up with funny names(Like satan's earwax.).

Marmite is a black, sticky substance derived from the leftovers of the brewing process. It tastes quite salty, more salty than it actually is, which is weird. Manipulating the marmite tends to cause it to go a touch paler. According to John Peel's 'Home Truths", prolonged manipluation can eventually turn it white. I have never tried this, you might want to if your life is utterly dire. Marmite comes in a distinctive black pot with a yellow lid - there's no mistaking it for anything else. It is one of the few brands that supermarkets have never really tried to copy.

How to eat marmite. I think it works best as a sandwhich filler or similar - on toast, crackers, or the like. I like it with butter - offsets the taste nicely. If you try to spread it like you would margerine, you may well find it inedible. Beware of asking "satan's earwax' people to make you a marmite sandwhich, because they always, always get the quantities wrong. I suspect them of doing this on purpose. Marmite does disolve in water, so you can make hot marmite drinks, I don't go for this, but each to his own I guess.
It does work very nicely if you add it to stews and soups - gives a good colour and adds to the flavour, much like using a stock cube really.

The other good thing about marmaite is that it is a very healthy product, rich in vitamin b for a start and consequently a goo thing to eat if you are pregnant. This is a guilt free food so dobn't be afriad to indluge!


Now for some silliness. There's a wonderful, barmy chap out there called Les Barker. He writes and re-writes songs, and some orignal poetry (Pearl was a praying mantis, and he was a JCB) I'm not going to quote too much of this, but just a flavour. There are no recordings,
as a certain Mr Lloyd Webber would be likely to sue.....
To the tune of "memories" from "Cats" (recomend you sing this in best pretentious operatic voice for maximum effect.)

"Marmite,
all alone in the moonlight,
In the dust of the top shelf,
rich in vitamin B.....

For the full expereince, watch out for Les Barker, the Mrs Ackroyd Band or Hilary Spencer, and you might just get to hear this fabulous salute to satan's earwax.

Marmite - the big pots cost about three pounds, but they last forever (well, I've had mine for the best par tof a eyar and am a heavy consumer) - they are actually very good value for money. As far as I can tell, marmite never actually goes off, so you can spend years working through your pot without fear of funny diseases, weird furry bits, or it waving to you as it attempts to make a bid for freedom.

Summary: