Midnight in the Garden of Mars (Mars Midnight Bar)

Member Name: collingwood21

Product:	Mars Midnight Bar
Date:	04/07/03 (166 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: All that lovely dark chocolate

Disadvantages: Limited Edition

History may tell us that the noted diarist Samuel Pepys died 300 years ago, but history is bunk. Pepys is alive and well – indeed I found this latest diary entry on the internet just this morning….


"Up betimes this morn, and minded to make haste to that charming emporium known as Ye Olde Spar. For ‘tis said that amongst their many stock is a wondrous new chocolate product that I have heard much talk of amongst ye rabble in ye ale houses. Indeed, it hath caused a sensation upon The Strand, general astonishment about this town and is much discussed in all fashionable quarters of the land. Not since the comely Nell Gwyn strutteth her stuff upon the lanes of this town have I felt such an excess of excitement! Ye chocolatiers of Slough from the House of Mars hath brought us this new delight, it appears, following ye trendie ways of enticing custom with limited edition products.

Thus to Ye Olde Spar in Pricey Lane by coach, where after much gaye banter and ado did I set mine eyes upon this new Mars Midnight. With trembling hands I did buy one, the damage to my purse being a modest 6 farthyngs (33 pence in ye new-fangled currency), which methinks is a modest fee for a dish of this size. Ye new Mars Midnight bar measures at 55 grams, but my head doth spin with confusion at this new metrick system of weights. What was so wrong with ye olde and traditional measures of Englande, ye quarts, ye bushels and ye hogsheads, which were so amenable to ye citizens? It doth make one wonder, indeed.

Upon my return, mine wife did enquire after a portion of ye new Mars Midnight with much impertinence. “Why dost thou not share thy new delicacy?” she cried, “dost thou intend to keep it all for thy poxy self?”. “Hold thy tongue, woman”, said I “for it was my hard-earned farthyngs that bought it!”. In haste to my study, where I could at last gaze upon my Mars Midnight away from mine wife, its
plaine chocolate body shrouded in a wrapping of curious design, and declared myself lucky to have acquired such a limited edition product. ‘Tis said that only a few milyon of these chocolates will be made, so fortunate indeed to hath gotten one!

Whence I did open ye Mars Midnight, mine nostrils were assailed with a glorious aroma of ye plaine chocolate, and mine eyes rested upon a bar of smooth, darke features. ‘Twas a sight to behold! Much enthused, I did take a bite, and it was a goode feast, I doth assure you. At ye bottom of ye Mars Midnight, there is to be found ye white nougat, firmer in composition to ye regular Mars bar nougat, yet of ye same tasty substance. Upon ye nougat is a layer of generous size of ye caramel, which doth add much sweetness to ye chocolate bar. Ye plaine chocolate coating though, doth make the epitome of difference between this and ye olde standard Mars bar, for it is of goode bitterness in contrast to ye sweet filling. In mine eyes, ‘twas even an improvement, as ye Midnight bar was of less sickly flavours than ye traditional Mars, and marvellously satisfied my yearning for plaine chocolate to be used in the confectionary of this land.

‘Tis then a chocolate bar of great virtue, similar to ye sibling olde Mars, yet of proud difference in taste. Surely too goode to be hawked to ye rabble, but if ye daily scandal sheets are to be believed, it shall be expected in a country in such a sad state. Mine wife did indicate to me that the very same bar might also be available in ye colonies of the Americas and Australia across ye oceans, although I am with some doubt as to this assertion.

Alas though, ye wrapping of ye Mars Midnight doth not inform me of ye nutritional value! (However, ye boundless knowledge of Google doth inform me that they contain 278 of your calories and 11 grams of fat in each bar, so methinks that they are not of suitability to those citizens on a weight loss diet). My rec
koning was verily that Master Mars hath provided us with a feast of goode delight, although I do lament the passing of this chocolate whence the limited edition comes to its end.

And so to bed, wherein I have to content myself with dreams of ye righte goode feast, mine wife being still full of ire at my consumption of all of ye Midnight bar. Goode night, gentle folk.”


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Master Mars of Slough may be communicated with at ye following addresses:

Masterfoods UK
Slough
SL1 4JX

www.mars.com

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