Resisting the obvious puns is really hard work (Tesco Mr. Brains 4 Faggots In Rich Sauce)

Member Name: rolletrog

Product:	Tesco Mr. Brains 4 Faggots In Rich Sauce
Date:	07/04/09 (162 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Fast, cheap, loveliness

Disadvantages: Not particularly healthy

~~*~~*~~ Mr. Brain's Faggots ~~*~~*~~

How is it possible that something that sounds so revolting could be one of my favourite din-dins? HimIndoors won't even contemplate eating them even though he's commented on how nice they look and smell - I can only put it down to the fact that he doesn't like the word 'faggots', and who in their right mind would?

Lord knows why Mr Brain woke up one morning and decided to create his own special faggots - he could have had any meat based dish named after him but instead he chose to subliminally put many hundreds of children off their tea. In fact, there are no brains contained within so you can rest easy knowing that instead your offspring are feasting on the luxury that is pork liver and pork (11%) and other delights including lard, onion and rusk. Although 'faggots' may be the correct term for these delightful little creations, in this day and age it may be prudent for the marketers of this wonderful meal (Hibernia Brands Ltd: I won't be including contact details as they probably receive enough mail from slightly confused simpletons) to change the name to Cheap Meatballs as this is what they essentially are.

In the vibrantly cheerful yellow box found in all good frozen food sections, there is a tin foil container in which there are either 2, 4, or 6 meatballs in a lovely thick gravy - apparently we 'asked for more' gravy (they call it West-Country Sauce but it's blatantly Bisto) and we received it - hurrah. Indeed there is plenty of the brown stuff now which goes beautifully over mashed potato and veggies.

Cooking them couldn't be simpler - simply empty the contents into a microwavable dish and watch them turn for about 8 minutes pausing only to separate them from each other half way through. If you're scared of the microwave because standing in front of it causes your skeleton to crumble, then try using a conventional oven - it's a hell of a lot slower (35 mins ave) but at least you don't have to wash up an extra dish as you can merely use the container it comes in.

Four of these heart-attack inducing balls contain about 500 calories (about a quarter of your daily intake) so it's a good job I usually only have frozen veg with them (purely because I'm too lazy to make real mash and smash isn't allowed in the house). They taste absolutely gorgeous and Pig (the chocolate lab with a nose for good food) sits drooling by my side - an indication of the delight that is on my plate. They're very tasty but not spicy or garlicky which is great because you can go have a night out on the pop without stinking - it's a fast and cheap meal (£1.29 in good ol' Tesco) that'll line your stomach ready for painting the town red.


* Although waxing lyrical is undoubtedly permissible, it is important to note that these faggots were originally Brain's Faggots and were changed to include the 'Mr' as indeed children were revolted at the thought.
** In addition one should note that faggots are traditionally pig liver, heart and belly fat with herbs and breadcrumbs thrown in to reduce the taste of pure lard.
*** Apparently Mr Brain holds 90% of the faggot market which is very nice for him.

Thanks for reading.
Review will most definitely appear elsewhere.

Caroline & Pig
April 2009

Both loving the faggots.

Summary: Excellent