DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE A GIRLIE OR A DEANO (Nestlé Yorkie Bar)

Member Name: marandina

Product:	Nestlé Yorkie Bar
Date:	30/01/03 (1718 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It's rather chunky

Disadvantages: It's a bit plain

It's funny how things go sometimes, one minute your up the next the ceiling caves in like a 60 foot tidal wave's turned up via the upstairs window. So far this week, someone I work closely with has had a bereavement and will be off for a while, I've blown another promotion interview and I can't get the lid off my jar of Vaseline.

I suppose if Deano76 was here reet now, he'd tell me to stop being a silly *Brian Cant and get on wi' it. Well, that's what I'm doin' I suppose by stringing this together. Of all the choccie bars, on all the High Streets, you had to walk in to mine. Well, it's a kinda Bogie or am I lookin' at a great Narthern fizz again? Hmmmm....like an Emily Bishop rising up from the ashes comes one of me favo choccie bars - Yorkie.

Anyhow, so how would you recognise one of these cocoa-based beasts? Well, it comes in a mainly blue foil packet with the word YORKIE in block capitals. Set against a background of mainly yellow, the "O" has the picture of a girl silhouetted with a red circular border and red slash through it. This is to support the latest advertising campaign based on Yorkie being "not for girls". In fact, just in case you prefer the more direct approach, the expression "not for girls" is emblazoned across the packet with a further message on the back of the packet proclaiming "Not for handbags"

Yorkie is made by that huge conglomerate - Nestle - so for aficionados here's a wee bit of history but not too much:

In 1905 a merger created the Nestlé and Anglo-Swiss Milk Company. In the early 1900s, the Company was operating factories in the United States, Britain, Germany and Spain. In 1904, Nestlé added chocolate to its range of food products after reaching an agreement with the Swiss General Chocolate Company.

World War I created tremendous new demand for dairy products, largely in the form of government contrac

ts. To keep up, Nestlé purchased several existing factories in the United States. By 1918, the Company had 40 factories, and its world production had more than doubled since 1914.

Nestlé opened the 20th century by merging with the Anglo-Swiss Condensed Milk Company to broaden its product range and widen its geographical scope.

Today, Nestlé is the undisputed leader in the food industry, with more than 470 factories around the world although there is still a swell of anti-Nestle feeling based on some misinformation given out by the company involving 3rd world countries some time ago.

With any major brand, advertising plays a big part. Armed with a suitably large budget, Yorkie appears on TV regularly. It's employed that footie player with the...erm...reputedly large equipment, Dwight Yorke to carry it's message although stopping short at employing the teeny brained Jordan (over compensating or what?!) to convey it's marketing message.

If you do get to watch SoccerAM you can't help but notice that it's sponsored by Yorkie with a string of humorous adverts based on the fact that Yorkie is a macho choccie product. You'll get the over keen female trying to explain the offside rule and failing miserably, the girl getting upset because someone else over the road has the same football strip as her and the footie player complaining that he has grass stains on his kit. Needless to say, none of the complainants get a Yorkie bar in the adverts! As for the actual product, this particular bar is 85g and cost 52p from...you guessed it...my Dillons over the road. Realistically, you'll probably get it a good few pence cheaper at larger outlets like Tesco etc.

OK, seeing as we're here, let's go for the taste test... <<rips the foil open with his bare teeth like the big strong ox he is>>. With this king size version there are a good 7 chunks to slip into your front orifice. The taste is mainly.
..erm...chocolate really with no frills or spills. It contains minimum 22% cocoa solids, 20% minimum milk solids and vegetable fat, emulsifier and flavouring. I kinda like letting the chocolate melt in my mouth with that warm feeling as it slips down the back of my throat (Mrs Deano76 told me about this kinda thing a while back).

This particular effort is about 8" and has been compared to Deano76's *wonga before now (tsk, come on...I mean his ruler which he's kept all these years as a memento of his time in Mrs Braithewaite's class...pronounced clarse if you are a tiny bit posh).

Righteo then, lemme summarise, Yorkie is only for big butch fellas like me and not for sport averse girlies who prefer crocheting to footie. It tastes nice and fills a whole like you wouldn't believe so...yep, Yorkie rocks!

Thanks for reading

Marandina.

*Brian Cant was a silly children's presenter from a byegone era
*Tenuous link between wonga and ruler excused on the grounds of me being a terrible product reviewer.

Summary: