| Product: |
Scott`s Porage Oats |
| Date: |
13/08/06 (694 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Cheap, filling, nutritious.
Disadvantages: None, really, unless you hate porridge.
Surprised to see me writing a review on porridge, aren't you? Well, frankly, so am I. Healthy breakfast foodstuffs generally aren't my forte, and until fairly recently breakfast consisted of 2 cups of espresso and 9 cigarettes. Maybe I'm getting old. Christ, I'm even drinking green tea. Anyway: porridge. Much beloved of Scottish people and the elderly. And, by all accounts, somewhat better for you than a big bowl of Crunchy Nut cornflakes liberally doused in chocolate milk.
Porridge comes from, erm, oats I think. Probably. I don't think there's a porridge plant, but I'm prepared to be proven wrong on that. As far as I know they're good for you because they're relatively unprocessed and contain lots of fibre, making you feel fuller for longer than refined cereals do. Normally I'd be arsed to Google this, but it's early in the morning and I'm a wee bit hungover, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Moving swiftly on. I have porridge in the house only because my mother bought it for me in one of her random acts of kindness. I wanted her to give me £20 to buy fags and vodka, she gave me porridge. I'm still not entirely sure how the hell that happened. She acquired it only because the funny spelling of 'porridge' confused her. Apparently she thought it was borage. (For those of you without an Irish mother, Borage: green herby plant. Porage: porridge. You can see how that particular mistake was made). Anyway, once she'd overcome her disappointment that the box of oaty things she'd purchased was not, in fact, going to be suitable for planting in the front garden, she offloaded it onto me with the hearty recommendation that 'porridge is really good for you. It makes your bones strong….wait; no, that might be milk, now that I'm thinking about it. Anyway, I don't like it, so you can have it. Love you.'
To acquire a box of Scott's porridge (I'm refusing to call it 'porage', because that's just not the right word at all) not dissimilar to this you can either a) befriend my mother (in which case good luck, and bring strong drink. You'll need it), or b) go to your local supermarket and peruse the cereal aisle until you find it. It costs £1.28 for 1kg, or £2.16 for 1.5kg. On opening the box it really doesn't smell too enticing, just a bit musty and vaguely floury. Looks wise, it ain't too pretty either, not unlike that dried pale brown mix you can get for guinea pigs. You know, I was going to explain exactly what porridge looks like for a moment there. Sod that. If you don't know yet it'll only spoil the surprise for when you do excitedly rip open your very first box of the stuff.
Having ventured into the world of healthy eating via green tea (tastes like leaves. It is entirely possible to choke on twigs whilst drinking it. If you're at all like me the tea bag version is a much safer option) I decided I'd give the porridge a go. To make it edible you combine about half a cup of oats and a cup and a half of milk or water (milk makes it marginally tastier) and either make it in a saucepan or in a bowl in the microwave. A word of warning; it tells you on the packet to leave it in the microwave for a set amount of time. Don't accidentally add on a couple of minutes to that time. Porridge, as I have found, will explode when microwaved for long enough. And Jesus, the stuff really burns when you spill it down you. Also, if cooking it on the hob, give it a wee stir every so often. Neglect in this scenario leads to a small fire.
After the prescribed amount of time you will be left with a big (it expands when it's cooking) bowlful of warm beige mush. Texturally it's like a bowl of cornflakes that have been left to go soggy in milk for ages - a bit sloppy and slimy. The taste is quite bland and nondescript but strangely comforting. If you're posh, you can add things to your porridge. Cream and honey is one option, but may negate the health benefits a bit. Chopped fruit is another, but is a bit of a pain in the arse, unless you can persuade someone else to do the chopping for you.
With or without the addition of fruit and various other bits and bobs Scott's Porage (porridge, damn them and their odd spelling) will keep you full until lunchtime. It's cheap, it's reasonably easy to prepare (admittedly, I injured myself in a porridge-related manner this morning, but don't let that put you off. I'm a bit of a spacker), it tastes nice in an inoffensive kind of way, and it's pretty good for you.
One last thing though, if you do decide to enter into the heady world of porridge eating, make sure you rinse your bowl as soon as you've finished eating it. Otherwise the leftover bits set like concrete and nothing short of a turbo charged pressure washer will shift them.
*This review has also been posted on Ciao by me.
Summary: Tasty breakfasty stuff.
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